Sunshine And Daisies

i cant believe cheyenne and eric are getting married. im happy for them, no doubt. cheyenne will finally stop complaining about how eric wont propose to her. but, i cant help but think "what if their marriage is going to be better than mine and toms?" its possiable.. right? maybe marriage is what they needed.. maybe they fought all the time because they have been together for so long, but arnt really "commited" to the extent of marriage, so they kinda treat it like- oh fuck, forget it. i just cant stand the sight of seeing cheyenne finally happier than me. im always happier than cheyenne. cheyenne is always sunk into a muddy ditch! always down in the dumps, feeling sorry for herself or others. IM suppost to be the happy one! not her! but here i am, laying in bed with tom, wide awake thinking about THIS..
I cant say i've been "happy" latley, for a few reasons. yeah, i got what i wanted, im back on tour with cinderella, big woop. i wanted to be on this tour so i could spend more time with tom. the only thing worse than sitting on a bus with your husband who is more interested in joking around with his friends and sleep than paying attension to you, is sitting at home alone watching family ties wail petting your dog and eating brownies. thats low..
I think tom has been doing a pretty decent job with managing his time between me and everything else, so far. but, the first night we spent on this tour, he was harrassing eric and cheyenne. which, i wanted no part of. so, i hung out with freddie. fred's always been sweet towards me. you know, other than the occational reminder "your married to tom!" which always pisses me off. but, he's a great friend.
What really struck me as odd, was the next morning, when Tom was being Pretty Pissy and cranky. i couldnt quite put my finger on what was making him so angry with me. so, i went to the beach with freddie. eventually, when i got back, tom decided to tell me what the problem was. apparently tom is jealouse of all the time i have been spending with fred. it was CUTE! i felt bad for thinking about kissing freddie on the beach. even though i didn't..
A thing that i havnt relized, when did me and tom stop being kinky? when we first started out, everything we did was kinky, then sometime after that, it went from smothering strawberry syrup all over tom's chest to "lets skip the foreplay, eh?". then, that night, tom started changing things up. i had forgotton about all the crazy things we use to do.. thank god for tom.
then, i get the news that eric proposed to cheyenne.. great.. the only thing cheyenne could do is go ON AND ON AND ON about it! it was understandable at first, i mean- shes excited! and i was excited for her. but after 2o minuetes of constant blabbing, it got annoying. yes, cheyenne. i have heard you tell the story about how he proposed a million times. i really wouldnt like to hear it again. then! get this- she called me a bitch! can you believe that?! sorry cheyenne, but i dont think you relize how fucking annoying you are being! exspecially when you tried to tell me your engagment ring was better than mine! you do NOT diss my ring and get away with it. it meant alot to me.. just because your happy, doesnt mean you should put me down. after that, i coudlnt stand to listen to her and eric talk about the wedding.