Stop And Stare

It was mine and fred's turn to wash the bus. a past time neither of us enjoyed, exspeically in 98 degree weather.
Wail everyone else was at lunch, fred and i stayed behind. "fred, pass me the bucket." i asked him. he ignored me. i watched as he stroked the windows with a soapy dripping sponge. "yo fredd!" i said louder, trying to get his attension. "hmm?" he finally looked at me. "whats your problem?" i had a feeling that him ignoring me was much more than hearing loss. fred must have been upset with me over something. "what are you talking about?" he asked, pretending like he thought he had me fooled. "fred, come on. what did i do this time?" i dropped the sponge on the ground, trying to signal to fred that i wouldnt wash and inch more of this bus until he told me what his problem was. he laughed. "kayla, come on! i wanna get this done with! please, pick it up." he begged. i crossed my arms infrount of my chest. there was no way i was giving in. even if i have to stand outside in this ridiculouse heat. fred laughed again. "kayla! damn it!" like this was a joke to him. "come on, freddie." i said. "look.. if i tell you, you have to promise not to be mad. or tell tom..." that made me think... do i really want to hear this? was it gonna be worth it? i mean- if i have to promise to not be upset and not to tell tom, what kind of a secret would this be? "sure." i said. he didnt look at me as he said "about that kiss... i left be- well, you see i- wait, no! damnit!" poor freddie didnt know where to start. "what about the kiss?" i asked, trying to get him back on track. "im sorry, again!" really? thats all he could say? "are you mad at me, or something? because your not speaking to me.." i asked. "no, im not mad at you. im just- i feel bad..and its awkward.." i have never really understood how fred could feel awkward around me. its not like we've never kissed before! "well, i dont feel awkward." i pointed out, thinking it would make him feel better. "how could you say that? kayla, you- your with tom. your MARRIED to tom! then, we kiss! thats not acceptable." oh, he is seriously trying to blame this one me!? "fred! you kissed me!" i yelled, a little to loud. "well, you didnt push me away!" i could never push freddie away. not in a million years. was that the problem? "well, you should learn to controll yourself." i had stopped yelling. fred laughed "me?! i loose controll!? what about the whole ordeal on the last tour!? hmm!?" what fred was refuring to, was when i got a little carried away at ray's aniversary party. after playing romeo and juliet on the balcony, i pretty much seduced fred in the back lounge. i started yelling again "oh! dont even!" i didnt want to hear him talk shit about ME! when i didnt do anything wrong, recently... "see! its not only me that looses controll! your just as bad!" he yelled back. this isnt fair! why cant tom and fred learn to share? "whatever!" i yelled. i had enough. i didnt see a point in continueing to argue with fred. it would be going nowhere.
The bus never got washed that day. i had stormed off into my house, and fred hung out in the bus. how could an argument with fred leave me with the thought of devorce?