Roll Me Threw The Night!

I have honestly never thought about the fact that Tom has been more occupied with work lately then me.. Cheyenne made it clear that "Tom should be with you! you should be number one! come before his work!" I denied it, of course. This is how it has always been, there is no way that it could be "wrong". For as long as i can remember, our relationship has always evolved around his job. No matter what it was like for us, if we were at a rough patch or not, he would take whatever ray through at him. Even if it meant leaving me behind for a year at a time, or canceling dates, or putting things off. It was yesterday, when i accompanied Cheyenne wail she got her first tattoo, that she made me realize this matter was true. I wasn't particularly "thrilled" being there, at the tattoo salon, with Cheyenne. It had nothing to do with the tattoo salon nor Cheyenne. I was merrily upset for a reason that i couldn't put my finger on. The previous night, tom had announced to the group that we were going to have sex. once we got to the hotel, after being exposed to paparazzi, Tom wanted to sleep. So not only did i not get sex, i felt like i came second. Okay, third. I was behind work and sleep. I would have to wait til tom wasn't working, or he had his sleep to get any attention. I felt that was no way to treat his wife. But, this being a usual thing, i overlooked it. Until Cheyenne brought it up. "So, how was the sex last night?" you would think a subject like this would an awkward thing to chat about wail getting a tattoo. But, it wasn't to us. Talking about sex was an everyday thing. "what sex?" i asked, watching as the man dip a needle into a cup of ink. "tom said on the bus that you were going to have sex. remember?" "oh, yeah. see, it didn't happen." the buzzing from the machine ringed in my ear. "why not?" she asked, clutching the arm of the chair. "he went to sleep." "for real?" i nodded my head. "your kidding, right?" she asked, as if she didn't believe me. i nodded my head once more. it was true. shameful, i know. "what? that's not right. what was his problem?" i shrugged my shoulders "he was just tired. I'm use to it." i told her, hopeing it would give her the hint to stop talking. hopeing she would realize that it was an everyday thing, that i didn't need her to keep talking about it. "use to it? you should come first! screw his job!" i laughed "you do realize, if tom were to "screw" his job, Eric would be out of his job too." "not my point." she told me. "i mean-they get two days break tomorrow. couldn't he have sacrificed one night of sleep to have sex with you, wake up the next morning and sleep on the plane?" i nodded my head, again. "that's what i though! i bet he's going to sleep on the break too! you know, its not even about the sex. i can care less about that. its just that i come last. you know?" i thought i didn't want to talk about this, but things just spewing out of my mouth like word vomit. shows what i know. i could tell the man with the needle, tattooing Cheyenne's arm, was listening to our conversation. probably thinking "what the fuck? these girls are nuts. thank god i don't have a girlfriend." After the realization that i did, in fact, come third, i started ignoring tom. if that's the way he wants to be, then let it be. two can play at this game. i know, its terrible to play games like this. it could no doubt "ruin" a marriage, so I'm told, but he will learn sooner or later that something is upsetting me. when he does, ill think about going back home. maybe then it would be one less thing he has to worry about on tour.