Bird Flowers

T= tom
E= eric
Chey= short for Cheyenne
*side notes

T: I HATE KAYLA
E: what??
T: shes being a bitch! she texted robin who told jeff who told me that kayla said that i'd rather tour than go with her to hawii!
E: ....one more time. that was confusing
T: kayla's been shit talking me!!
E: well..you've said some things to. like, on the bus the other day. now, what she said wasn't nearly as harsh as what you said...
T: so?? she can't do that!! only i can! *dominant
E: .... your such a hippocrate. hope you know that, tom
T: i dont care! i'm in charege of this relationship!!
E: hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah oh, really? well, if you think of it that way, it's never gonna last. *relationship expert
T: like YOU'D know! you break up with chey every other week
E: hey! she's just the type of woman that doesn't know what she wants. so she breaks up with me! but she always comes back! don't get me involved in this, tom. just because your marriage is crap doesn't mean you have to take it out on me..
T: ITS NOT CRAP! YOUR CRAP! MY MARRIAGE IS FINE!
E: oh really?? "I HATE KAYLA" i dont think that's healthy, man
T: you hate chey sometimes too!
E: i never say i HATE her
T: but you do, right!
E: i dont! whats your fight even about anyways?
T: the tour
E: what do you mean?
T: she's mad because the tour is going longer than expected, and we're gonna have to go to hawii later.
E: so then why are YOU mad?
T: because she's yelling at me and saying i'd rather tour than spend time fixing our marriage! and that i did this on purpose!
E: well, did you explain to her that it's not what she thinks? or did you just yell and make things worse for yourself, like you always do
T: the first thing you said! but, she didnt listen.
E: then you yelled?
T: yeah... so?
E: so what are you gonna do?
T: i dont know!! what should i do?
E: if i were you, i'd try to make it up to her with something special.
T:.. does that work? or should i just get another tattoo?
E: why would you get another tattoo?
T: they make her happy... if they pertain to her..
E:... wow! what would you get this time?
T: i dont know.. what would you get?
E: i dont know. you will think of something. lets see, you got your nipple peirced, a tattoo of her name across your back, and her lip print on your hip. what else is there?
T: my body has already gone through too many modifications.. how about i just her her flowers?
E: does she like flowers??
T: i think so....
E: so then whats her favorite? cuz if you get her the wrong kind, she will never forgive you, trust me.
T: do flowers work with your girlfriends?
E: cheyenne loves flowers. exspecially when i put cheesy notes on them
T: good... and i can write something cheesy! what about ex's? did they like flowers to?
E: i never got them flowers.. so, this that what your gonna do? get her orchids with a dumb card?
T: no... she likes bird something flowers.. i think
E: bird flowers? what?? well, flowers only work with SOME people and SOME dissagreements..
T: like?? TELL ME DUDE!!
E: like, when cheyenne thought i didnt want to marry her.. i gave her flowers to show her that i DO care, and to save my ass! or, when you call your girlfriend by your ex's name. or when you accidnently shoot her cat. or when you meet her sister for the first time and say "aww when is the baby due?" but she's actually just fat... small fuck ups, you know?
T:... is this a small fuck up?
E: is it?
T: it should be... i didn't shoot Helo..
E: depends on how mad she is... have you talked to her since yesterday?
T: no...
E: did you TRY to call her?
T: was i suppost to?
E:....your SO dumb!! how have you gotton this far??
T: because! we havn't fought much...
E: fine, uhh.. forget the flowers then
T: no! i'll send flowers and call!
E: call first.. and be NICE! and apologize! then get her those bird flowers and think of something cheesy to put in the card. and attach her favorite candy bar to it.
T: what candy does she like?!?!
E: i dont know!!
T: god damnit! :( i'm doomed...
E: thats why you have me!! i'm the expert in saving guy's asses, and your...
T: AND MY MARRIAGE!!
E: just, dont fuck up again, okay? next time, i'm charging ya.
T: .....