Carrots and Apples

In the end, everyone got what they deserved, right? I was back with Tom after being told that Fred sabotaged our marriage. I didn't tell Fred that I knew what he had done, out of respect for Jeff- who told Tom Fred's plan. Instead, I relied on the fact that things between Fred and I were not working out as i had hoped. There has been times in my life that I have wanted to be with Fred,- some more drastic than others- and the one chance that I had with Fred was in the middle of a divorce. I guess that goes to show that Fred an I are never meant to be. And, I can live with that. Because I am in love with Tom.
I have a year until I have to face Fred. Tom will be working on the new record with the band, and I'll be supporting him in whatever way i can. Weather that may be "Steak Night" or hanging around Jeff's pool like old times. I can't ignore Fred anymore than he can't ignore me.
I guess I shall see how things play out.

Say Cheese!

{85}

I was sitting on the counter in the photo developing room of the Photohut looking through customers personal pictures. "eww.. is this woman bald?" I asked Tom. He looked at the picture "i think that's a man.." He said. "oh... isn't someone else supposed to be here with you? like, doesn't that curly haired kid work here too?" I asked Tom. "Fred? Yeah! He does." "Then why isn't he here?" "he's usually late..." I put the picture back into the pile and jumped off the counter. "twenty minuets late?" I asked Tom. "sometimes.. like, Eric is late 90% of the time." "so why do you have to be here on time? why can't you be late? that's not fair! we could still be in bed, Tommy!" I nagged. It didn't seem fair to me that Tom always got the short end of the stick. "because.. I'm a good guy-" Before Tom could finish speaking, Fred walked in the room. "Heyyy!!! sorry, I overslept, then i got some break- Hiya Kayla!" Funny how Fred can come in late, apologize because he overslept, and think he can say hi to me. "hey, you got what?" i asked. seeing as he didn't finish talking before he realized i was in the room. "breakfast." he said, holding up a paper McDonald's bag. "oh." i said. "Man, I'm starving! and i have to be here! I hate this place. woahh aw man, I ate everything!" Fred said, looking around in the McDonald's bag. Tom started coughing "Hey, Freddie Boy- there's things for you to do over there.." Tom said, pointing to the opposite side of the room. "fine.." Fred said, walking away from us. "Finally!" Tom said, pulling me close and kissing me. "We can't do this with Fred around," I said "He's gonna walk in, I know it." Tom ignored me and started kissing my neck. "Tom!" "what? no he wont."
Just when things started getting "hot and steamy", Eric walked in. I quickly pushed Tom away from me. "Eric is here!" I told him. "wha- hi Eric." He said. I whispered to Tom, "I told you! It was bound to happen.." "It's fine... we have the bathroom..." Tom said to me. Eric didn't say a word, thank god. "bathroom, NOW! Eric, take my shift." Tom said, pulling me towards the bathrooms. "Tommy!" "Don't worry about it, Kay. Eric will do it for me." He pushed me into a stall and locked the door. "but what if-" before i could finish he pushed me against the wall and pressed his lips against mine.

Photohut

{85}

Tom was laying beside me in our bed, sleeping like a baby. "Tooommmyy. Honey, are you awake?" i said, poking his chest. "Nooooo." He said, rolling over. "Yes you are! come on, baby!" It's never fun being awake alone.. "come on for what?" he said. "get up!" "whyyyyy?" He whined. "because! i don't wanna be up alone.." with that, he turned back towards me. "fine fine. I'm up." "thank you baby!" i said, giving him a good morning hug. "what should we do today, Hun?" He asked me. "Anything you want." I said. "I have to work.." "what? Tommy!" Another relaxing day with Tommy would be great. "I have to baby." "What am I gonna do all day with out you?" I will admit, it's sad that I don't have a life. The only thing that matters to me is Tom. "Come with me" He said. "Come with you? I can't do that. What am i supposed to do? Sit around the Photohut with you?" Tom nodded his head. "exactly." "I can't do that. I'd be a distraction. i don't want to get you fired.." I told him. "of course you will be a distraction! but that doesn't matter. c'mon Kay!" He said.

Doctor, Doctor Gimmie the News

T: ERIC! WHO IS ON TOP WHEN YOU HAVE SEX?!
E: what??
T: awnser it! are you on top, or is Cheyenne?
E: me, DUH!
T: good! that's what i thought! now, how often is Chey on top?
E: I don't think she ever has...
T: like once in a blue moon, right?
E: no... why do you ask?
T: okay, like, once a week she should be on top. but Kayla thinks she's always gonna be on top! and i called her my bitch.
E: Hahahahahhahahahaha you did it? how did it go? and your never on top? okay, we have more problems then the crying deal....
T: I KNOW!! so not fair! she acts like it's weird. and nothing.. she thought it was a sex joke.
E: Hahahaha acts like it's weird? maybe your doing something wrong...see, i told you she wouldn't be mad if you called her your bitch.
T: NO! i'm good in the sack! okay, does she give you oral more than you give her?
E: Hahahahaha sure you are Tom. and yes, she does. i prefer to recieve oral rather than give it.
T: I am! and good! theres only a few things i'll do! and that doesn't include more oral. hmph.
E: what are you talking about?
T: nevermind. god, i gotta shape up! be a man.
E: you do!! but really, what are you talking about?
T: the fact that Kayla think's she's dominant in the bedroom!
E: well, from what i'm hearing, she is..
T: NO! NOT ANY MORE! how did you become dominant?
E: not anymore? i was BORN dominant. i'm a DUDE. you would be to if you would learn to tell Kayla no.
T: right! and i will! but you gotta teach me a few things...
E: like what?
T: who starts phone sex?
E: the guy does, DUH!
T: okay, i got it. tell me more.
E: well, what else do you wanna know? and btw, IF your gonna do phone sex, YOU may want to figure out what your gonna say before hand..
T: like? what have you done?
E: i havn't done it actually. it's not my thing.
T: then how would you know?
E: cuz! i see those aerosmith videos!
T: you need experience just as much as me.
E: you will be fine! it's not that hard! what else?
T: uh... what else do i need to know?
E: i dunno. what other issues do you have in your sex life?
T:... like, foreplay. i lost my touch.
E:... what do you mean? how can you loose your touch on that? do you just kiss her and go into it?
T: latley...
E: why?? what is wrong with you?!?!
T: what do YOU do?
E: just whatever. i think you need to see a doctor...
T: whatever? what is whatever?!?!
E: i dont know. sorta comes natural. if you think about it to much, your gonna end up being stiff and awkward.
T: right...
E: what? tom, you need fucking TRAINING! just, try phone sex, okay?
T: with YOU???
E: Nooo! with Kayla! wtf?!?! come on man, get your head in the game!!

True Love Wont Desert You

{85}

I was lounging on the couch, looking at my nails, thinking that a darker shade of red might have brought out my tan more. "Baaabee!" Tom said before kissing me. "yeah?" i asked him. "How you doohan?" He asked. i laughed at his Wendy Williams impersonation. "I'm doing just fine, Tommy." "hmm, are you sure?" Tom asked me, wail positioning himself across my lap. "I'm positive." I ran my fingers through Tom's hair. pushing his bangs out of his eyes. "that's good honey." he said, closing his eyes. "what's wrong baby?" i asked him. "nothing! as long as your happy, I'm happy." i nodded my head "are you sure?" Tom usually takes convincing to get anything out. "of course Kay!" he said. "good.."
My relationship with Tom could not be any better at this point. We have been living together in his apartment for nearly a month with no problems of any sorts. I could honestly say that the time that i have spent with Tom has been the best I've spent with any man.
"I looooooooooooove youuuu peaches!" He said to me. I laughed. "peaches? that's cute! i love you too!" peaches? that was a new name that i could get use to. "isn't it? good! what do you wanna do today, peaches?" Tom asked me. "Whatever you wanna do, Tommy." I said, being the best girlfriend i could be. "You wanna come with me to band practice?" Band practice? I am more than okay with the guys in the band, but as for their girlfriends- I'm not to keen on them.. "only if Amber isn't there... you know how she scares me." I told Tom. I can handle Cheyenne, at times. But, Amber is beyond what i can deal with. Tom spends more time yelling at Amber during a practice than he spends playing. Sure, Amber can dish it out, but she can't take it. She can say whatever she wants about anybody, but as soon as they turn around and say something back, she gets pissy. "If she's there, I'll make Jeff kick her out, okay peaches?" "otay.." i said, not quietly enough for tom to miss "aww you're too cute Hun!" "not as cute as you, Tommy." I can admit, Tommy and I can be extremely cheesy when we want to be. It's actually quite embarrassing when Eric or Fred over hear us talking.. "aww i love you.." "i love you too!" For a lead singer in a heavy metal band, Tom is as passionate, sensitive and gentle as fabio. "good! c'mon, let's get going." Tom said, getting off my lap. "do you HAVE to go to practice? i like sitting here with you..." I was definitely enjoying this time with Tom. A nice, relaxing day with Tom would make things even better. "we can... cancel it..." "aww, really? thata' be great!" i said, giving Tom a kiss. "do you just wanna hang around with me today?" Tom asked. "mmhmm" "aww i feel special Hun!" "your special to me!" "and your special to me! so, what do you think of us- living on a beach somewhere?" A random question, i thought. What does living on a beach have to do with anything? "are we moving babe?" It would be nice to own a house on a beach with Tom. "no... I don't have the money for that." Then why would Tom bring it up? "so what's this about living on a beach?" "A fantasy" He told me. "your fantasy is living on a beach with me?" How sweet is that! Tom's fantasy could have been making millions of dollars making music and getting the keys to the playboy mansion- a fantasy that every man has- but, he would rather live with me on a beach, with the money he makes making music.. "yeah... but in a HUGE house!" Tom was getting excited just thinking about it. "the two of us would need a HUGE house?" i asked, hinting at maybe having kids in the future. "yeah! just because we could afford it..." He didn't get the hint.. "one day, Tommy.." I have all the faith in the world for Tom to make it big in the music industry. I swear, I'm his biggest fan. "i swear! you have my word, baby!" He promised me. "We don't need those types of things to be happy..." I told him. "of course not! look where we are now." He said, looking around our crappy apartment that we could hardly afford. "it's home to me..." i said, hoping to make him feel better. "aww!" He kissed me. "We wont be here much longer, Tommy. i know it." I told him. "I hope so, i really do.." He said, looking quite glum. "your music is genius! i have faith in you. your gonna do great!" i said, giving him a comforting hug. "What would I do with out you Kay?" He said, not letting go of me. "what you did before you met me." "not much.." I remembered the first night I spent in Tom's apartment. His neighbor was pounding on the wall and yelling "keep it down in there! I'm trying to sleep!" Tom wanted me to scream as loud as i could just to annoy his neighbor, who apparently "always does that! every time i bring a girl over he yells." That really turned me off, i gotta say. "from how your neighbor sounds, you did quite a bit." i said to him. "well- i mean, that wasn't, it was... a hobby?" Tom tried saving his butt. "Sure it was." i said, not wanting an explanation. "you know what i mean! it was to pass the time! until i met you..." okay, now i wanted an explanation from Tom. "explain to me," i said, moving closer to tom to get his full attention. "why did you give me your number? i didn't know WHAT on earth i was saying. i sounded stupid!" "because i figured you were just starstruck by such a handsome man," oh Tom, always so conceded. "oh really? you were so full of yourself! 'you did great out there!' 'i know!'" i quoted from the day we met. "i wasn't! i just- it doesn't matter... we're here now.." he said, giving me a kiss. "okay Tommy." "I was only like that because i liked you..." As if that made any sense. "that was the first thing i said to you, besides my name! you didn't like me yet." I told him. "yes! i thought you were cute!" Cute? Plenty of those girls at the show that night were hot, maybe even a few were sexy, but i was "cute" and he decides to be with ME? the "cute" girl? now, how does that work out? "you did?" "of course i did!" he said, kissing my neck and soon moving down to my shoulder. "i love you," He told me. "c'mon!" he took my hand and pulled me off the couch. "Tom, where are we going?" i asked, following him. "bedroom, peaches!" he said.

Loves Got Me Doin' Time

I have only been with Freddie for no longer than two weeks. How could he say "i love you"?
I know that Freddie and I have a past together, and that may be coming into play, but i still don't understand.
Tom is divorcing me. i would have never thought that our marriage would end like this. Tom was the first man i fell in love with. He made me happy like no one else could. I never wanted to be the woman who trusted her husband to full extent, only to find out that he's been cheating. It hurts to learn that the man you gave everything to has been seeing another woman behind your back.
I appreciate everything that Fred has done for me these past few weeks. Fred means a lot to me. But, i had to explain to him that i'm not quite ready to fall in love again. i hanv't been teh same since Tom left, and Fred relizes that. i don't want to lie to Fred and tell him that i love him, then put no effort into enforcing it.

Teen Machine

I dropped the current issue of tiger beat on Freds lap. "what is this?" He asked me, picking up the magazine and looking at the cover. "go to page 19." i told him. I watched as he flipped through the pages of the magazine. "what is this?" He read through the article. "what do you think it is! they found out!" i yelled. i knew that Fred was probably tired of hearing about my divorce with Tom. But, if Fred is going to be with me, he has to deal with the fact that i am going through a tough divorce right now. I need his support. "Kayla, you need to move on. out with the old and in with the new." He has been repeating that ever since the night Tom left. I took it as, "forget about Tom, I'm here and you need to be focused on our relationship." In a way, i suppose Fred was right. If Tom didn't want to be with me, then why take out my anger and depression on my relationship with Fred? Fred doesn't deserve that. I finally got my "real" relationship with Fred. Before, it was "hey, let's hide behind close doors and have sex. better hope that Tom doesn't find out." I never had the chance to REALLY concentrate on Fred. "your right.."

Yet, Another Wedding

1) Reception room
2) Wedding cake
3) Engagement ring
4) Bridal Bouquet
5) Groom tuxedo
6) Flower girl dress
7) Bridesmaid dress
8) Church where wedding will be held
9) Bride dress
10) Bride hairstyle
11) Ring bearer
12) Bridal shoes

Like I don't Care

{ Eric Brittingham }

Cheyenne now thinks that our marriage is jinxed, hence why she refuses to marry me. I made the mistake of trusting Lori to take care of our divorce in 1984, only for it to come knocking me in the ass three years later on my wedding day.

I didn't tell Cheyenne about Lori because i didn't feel it was important. Any woman who finds out that their fiance was married before them would go crazy, right? I guess it didn't help for Cheyenne to find this out on her wedding day, did it?

So, here we are on our "honeymoon" in Australia. Today i didn't get my koala and my "wife" informed me that she doesn't want to get married after our wedding disaster. How am i supposed to take that? "oh, don't take it personally, Eric." she told me. Fuck- how do you think I'm supposed to take this? She thinks that buying me a stuffed koala would make things better. i will not lie, it is quite cute and fluffy, but it doesn't heal the pain, Cheyenne.

After Tom told me that he was divorcing Kayla, i started to realize that maybe Cheyenne was right. Maybe marriage wasn't the best thing for us right now, like i thought it was. If Tom and Kayla didn't last, what chance do Cheyenne and I have?

Relationships are hard..

Wang-Chung

{ Jeff Labar }

It wasn't until i saw the way Tom acted when he came to the house to pick up some things, that i realized what i had been apart of. I felt awkward sitting on his couch in his beach house with his wife sitting on Fred's lap wail Tom stuffs a suitcase with clothes.

When Kayla said "Tom is on his way, he should be here any moment." a nervous bug crawled into my skin. Knowing Tom, he would walk in, see Fred, and throw him against the wall threatening him to stay away from Kayla like he has done in the past. Instead, he walked in, saw Fred, packed his things, said goodbye to me, flipped off Kayla, and left. Tom surprised me, what can i say.

Fred was proud of himself for succeeding in sabotaging Tom and Kayla's marriage. Fred got what he wanted, right? The ultimate prize was Kayla. If i was Fred, i wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that i ruined my best friends marriage and seeing my girlfriend depressed and miserable. How can Fred enjoy his time with Kayla if she is still upset over Tom. Fred doesn't realize that it is going to take plenty of time for her to heal and move on. Sure, i guess you can say she has moved on-being with Fred and all. But truly, Kayla hasn't let Tom go. And how can you expect her to? Kayla has been with Tom for almost five years. Their anniversary is in November. Kayla probably isn't thinking about this right now, but when it comes time to sign those divorce papers, she has to settle things with Tom in court. Fred has to be there, do you think he is going to enjoy that? Fred didn't think of a lot of things when he cooked-up this plan. I know Tom, and i don't think he would let Fred win like this. I understand that Tom is upset, but it wouldn't be right if he let Fred get away with this.

I was a bad person to get involved in this, i know that. And if Tom is truly going to divorce Kayla over this, that's when i am going to step in. I'll let Fred have his fun with Kayla for right now, he deserves it, doesn't he? But Tom and Kayla are meant to be. If Fred gets in the way of that, i am going to tell Tom about Fred's plan. There is a chance that Tom could ignore the fact that Fred sabotaged his marriage and sign the divorce papers to get it over with and move on. But there is also the chance that he will confront Fred in front of Kayla. Kayla doesn't know about Fred's plan either, and I'm sure when she finds out about it, Fred isn't going to stand a chance.

Tom has probably already spoken to Eric. Telling him all about the situation. It's funny how everyone thought Kayla and Tom were going to be the couple to make it through, when actually Eric and Cheyenne have been doing a pretty good job considering their wedding was a disaster. What are they going to do now? If Tom and Kayla couldn't make it, whats the chances of them making it? And that is what is going to ruin it for them. Cheyenne is superstitious, and there is no way that she is going to marry Eric after finding this out. Fred didn't only ruin one marriage, he ruined two.

Koala's and Iguana's

Eric- *throws stuffed koala, Al, at Cheyenne.
Chey- .....you dropped Al..
Eric- i THROUGH Al

Man Behind the Mask

{ Jeff Labar }

The first thing I wanted to do in Hawaii, before Fred dragged me to Tom's house to sabotage his marriage, was to get a drink. lord knows that i was gonna need a few to get through tonight.

I sat the bar with Fred. Fred constantly nagged at me to hurry my drink. "Jeff, you need to hurry the fuck up. I can't carry these underwear in my pocket all day!" You would think by now, i have developed a tolerance to Fred's childish games. "What do you think you are going to do?" I asked him. "I am going to put this under her bed. She will find it, think Tom cheated on her, and she will leave him. simple as that." He said, taking a drink of his Dr. Pepper. "Who looks under their bed on a daily basis? I don't think she is going to find the underwear." "no, no. listen, they are going to be peaking out a bit, enough for her to see them." Fred thinks he is so clever. "what will you do if that doesn't work? you know Kayla forgives Tom for everything. What if he talks her out of it?" Even i knew that Fred's plan was not going to work. "I already thought of that. I will get Nadia to call the house and leave Tom a message. but, Kayla will hear it and that is MORE proof that he cheated!" Fred has gone crazy.. "I still can't believe you are doing this to Tom. you two have been friends since before he even met Kayla." i didn't understand Fred. who would go through this much trouble for a chick? I could understand if he was going for Heather Locklear, but Kayla? Kayla isn't worth this. "so where does Tom fit in with this plan? what about him? have you even thought about that? you can't just leave him in the dust. He WILL kick you out of the band if he finds out about this, or the fact that your moving up on his wife." Fred moved his hair out of his face, taking a deep breath before saying, "you will see, Jeff. i have this whole thing planned out." I wonder how long it took Fred to cook up a plan like this. I can see fred, sitting in his house at a wooden desk drafting a plan on paper under a small lamp. Who knew Fred could be so conniving? "What about Nadia, i thought she was your girlfriend?" i asked him. "She was only part of the plan." "what did she do?" Fred is trading in a french model for Kayla? I swear that boy is nuts. "She made Kayla jealous, didn't she? so, her job checked out." I knew that getting involved in this was wrong. Tom is my friend. How could i help Fred sabotage his marriage? Because Fred is my friend to, and in a strange way, i can understand where he is coming from. I would with out a doubt go through all of this to be with Robin. I guess Kayla is to Fred what Robin is to me. But, Kayla is also to Tom what she is to Fred that Robin is to me. you understand? I finished the last drops of my beer, and ordered another. "So what will happen when Tom eventually finds out that you are with Kayla?" When Kayla is past her depression, done crying and feeling sorry for herself, she is going to want to move on with her life. And who is going to be there? Fred. I bet Tom has already thought of this, to. "What can he do? in the end, it's Kayla's decision." He said. I guess there is some truth behind that statement. But, i am sure that Tom is going to find a way to make Fred pay for it.

Reaching for You

i can't belive that i have never though of this before! it's much easier to get Jeff to do my dirty work!
I met Jeff at the emergency exit door after the show. "tell me everything! every detail!" i demanded. "i'm sorry Kayla, but.. he doesn't know." i felt my heart sink into my stomache. "what do you mean- he doesn't know?" Jeff looked around, checking for witnesses, making sure no one was close enough to hear our convorsation. "he doesn't know how he feels about you, or he wont tell me.." "what did he say, exactly?" Fred must feel SOMETHING to lead me on like this. "it was all very confusing. he said he liked you, but then he said he didn't. then he said you would be together if it wasn't for tom. so, i dont know." Jeff was a horriable puppet. "kayla, i'm trying to help you here. i really am." he told me. i hugged him "i know jeff, thanks." when i let go, i noticed fred walk out of the bathroom. "i'll see you on the bus, jeff." i said before i chased after fred. "freddie!" i called out. fred turned around to see me "hiya kitten!" he said with a smile. i felt myself blushing. i quicly hid my face with my hair, before fred could see my cheeks. "what's the matter, kitten?" he asked me. he moved the hair out of my face. by the time he did, the blushing had stopped. thank god. his hand stayed on my face, caressing my cheek. i hope he washed his hands... "so, uh- freddie. how was the show?" i asked, out of nervousness. "didn't you watch?" "i was.. busy." an excuse i'm sure he could have taken the wrong way. "it was great. too bad you missed it." "for shame.."

Gingersnap

When we arrived in Hawii, the natives welcomed us with gifts of orcid lays and candies. i had forgotten how generous and friendly the people are in Hawii. if it were up to me, i would live here.
We stayed at the same beach house as we did last year. i noticed the owners had replaced the bedroom door. during one of our arguments, i had taken refuge in the bedroom to get away from tom. only for him to attempt to break the door down. constant pounding and kicking resulted in cracks and chipped paint. "here we are" tom said, setting down his suitcases by the couch. "yeah" i said, as i continued to look around the house. "yup..." for an unknown reason, we felt awkward. we both knew that we were here to fix our marriage. our marriage is not terriable, but i want to fix these minor problems before they grow into something we can't handle. honestly, i didn't know how this "vacation" would turn out. i am scared that we dont fix our problems, resulting in a divorce. maybe i'm just psyching myself out. me and tom havn't fought about anything for quite a few months-except the occational "stop flirting with fred!"-so, our marriage could not be a failure after all. i just feel like tom has started loosing interest, you know? like he doesn't want to put forth any effort. i could just be crazy..
"so, what do we do now?" i asked tom. "well.. we uh.. " he sat on the couch. "how about we, hmm.." pathetic. we can't even think of a way to spend time together. our marriage is fucked...

Sunshine of your Love

i remember the days up to proposal..
I remember sitting with Tom on a wooden bench in the middle of a park after an afternoon spent roaming around a small hawiian town. the sun was beating down on us as we hurryied to finish our icecream cones before they were a puddle benethe our feet. the wind blew gently through our hair, giving us a relief from the arid enviroment. days like these are common in hawii. the park over looked the ocean. in my mind, i thought this would be the perfect setting for a wedding. "tom, dont you think today would be the ideal day for a wedding?" i pointed to the dock. a platform of wood planks that layed a great distance from the shore. a trail of finely sculpted wood fencing lined the edges. rows of flowers were planted upon the top of the fencing. "uh.. a-wedding? i uh- sure." tom sounded nervous. he acted as if the mention of a "wedding" was forbiden. "tom, are you okay?" his cheeks turned a light shade of pink, almost identical to the strawberry icecream he was consuming. "yeah, i uh- i'm fine. i'm rosey as a matter of fact." tom failed to reasure me that he was okay. "i mean, look at that dock! it's beautiful! that would be the perfect place for a wedding. dont you agree?" tom started to tense up. "uh-yeah." in my mind, i started imagining the lucky couple who's wedding would take place on the dock. then, i began questioning my realationship with tom. i have been with tom for four years. we should have been married by now. what was he waiting for? doesn't he love me? "kayla, dont you think its time to go home?" i snapped out of my day dream "hmm? oh- yeah."
The following day, tom and i were sitting on the pourch of our beach house. we watched the waves roll onto the shore then flow back into the ocean. "how long would you say we have been together?" tom asked me. "about four years." i awnsered. "long time, huh?" tom didn't look at me when he spoke. he starred down at his hands. his fingers, fidgiting with the button on his shirt, shook with nervousness. what is happening with tom? he gets so nervous..
Upon the next day, i was walking into the kitchen when i saw tom sitting at the table with his hands in his pockets. "good morning, tom" i said, sitting next to him. he didn't reply instantly "tom?" "kayla, i've been thinking a lot of how i should do this... and, i think the best way to do this, would be in our house, a place that we have both cheristed and created..." i didn't understand what he was talking about. "you know- i love you, insanly." he took his hand out of his pocket, holding a small velvet box. "will- kayla, will you marry me?" i remained speachless. not only was i suprised, but just last week i had my heart broken by fred. i didn't know if tom was proposing to keep me away from fred. i didn't think tom would ever propose- exspeically after i through a fit when fred broke up with me and i ran back to him. "tom.."
here i am today, a year later in november, married to tom. i'm still having problems with fred, and i'm still in love with tom.

Jay-sus Gawd and Christ!

when i woke up, i relized tom wasn't beside me. that's right. i forgot that he decided to sleep on the couch after our argument stormed out of control. my head felt like it had millions of little type writters working inside. there wasn't enough advil on earth to make this headache go away. i layed in bed, trying to remember last night. everything seemed as if it happend in a fog..
Tom and i brought a stereo and three bottles of whiskey to the beach. the moon hid behind the dark clouds. the water was calm. not one seagul squaked. i have never seen such and erie enviroment in hawii. tom opened a bottle with his shirt "would you like the first drink?" he asked me. "naw, you go ahead." i told him. the beach was deserted, not a person in sight. "tommy, don't you think it's a little too quiet? it's odd." he didnt seem to be worried quite like i was "Kayla, relax. it's not a big deal." tom handed me the bottle. i took a quick drink before saying "your right.." tom was usually the paronoid one. if he wasn't worried, why should i be?
An hour and three bottles of whiskey later, tom and i were arguing. i for one, blame the alchol and Tom's lack of listening skills. "your the one with the problem!" i yelled, throwing an empty bottle into the ocean. "no, it's you!" i dont think either of us understood why we were yellling. just to yell, i guess. right then, i heard the sound of feet trailing through dry sand. i looked to see fred standing behind me. "hey freddie! whadda you doin here?" i asked. he didn't awnser. tom sat on a pile of sand, ignoring Freds presance. "what are you two fighting about?" he asked. "i dunno!" i awnsered, shrugging my shoulders. "kayla started it" tom mumbled. "unk! oh, what are you fuckin' tawkin' abawt?! oh, jesus cher-ist! you stupid fuck! jesus! fred, get him the fuck outta heah! oh, what a cunt! oh, jay-sus!" i yelled. fred starred at me, probably thinking i was crazy. "what has gotton into you, kitten?" he asked me. "two bottles of whiskey." i said, smiling. tom pushed sand around with his feet, as if he was bored. i started to get angry over nothing. i suddenly wanted tom to feel pain. i dont know what came over me, but i acted by grabbing fred by his shirt and pulling him towards me. i stuck my tounge down his thorat and my hand down his pants. when i let him go, he through up his hands "tom, that wasn't me. it was all her, i swear!" he pleaded. i rolled my eyes. typical fred. tom didn't instantly act like he usually would, by throwing a fit. he waited until we got home for that.

My Bitch

T: SHE ACCEPTED MY APOLOGY
E: she did? congrats! so my flower plan worked? did the twix melt?
T: she didnt mention the twix...
E: so, its all good between you two now?
T: i think so...
E: good!
T: i bet she hates me..
E: why do you say that? you said she forgave you, right?
T: yeah, but i dont know if she meant it
E: why would you say that? did she sound like she meant it?
T: not really
E: what did she say? what did you write on the card?
T: thats private
E: what do you mean? what did you write?
T: NOOO thats private!!
E: how is it private? did you write a fuckin' love letter in an envelope sealed with wax from her favorite scented candle?
T: i should have, goddamnit!
E: tell me what you wrote!!
T: no! i have to write a letter!
E: your gonna write a letter now? she forgave you, man! why keep trying?
T: to make her forget it completly!
E: like a letter is gonna do that
T: if it's so romantic she cries, then YES!
E: hahahahahhha how are you gonna do that?
T: its not hard to make her cry
E: so what are you gonna do if your still not convinced that she forgvies you after you send this "romantic love letter"?
T: ...uh... i got it! cry! she wont be able to resist me crying
E: ... how will she see you cry?
T: i'll do it over the phone!
E: right... and she's gonna hang up on you
T: no! would you hang up on Cheyenne if she was crying?
E: thats different. i'm the man. i would be in deep shit if i hung up on Cheyenne.
T: no!!!
E: man, i cant belive you. your such a wuss! "oh, my wife was being a bitch cuz i have to work. so, im gonnna kiss her ass with candy, flowers, love letters and im gonna cry my eyes out! maybe then she will forgive me for working my ass off to make a living for the both of us!" thats what you sound like!!
T: ...so?
E: YOU DONT SEE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?! look what she did to you, man!!
T: i know.. i cant help it! i wont let her leave me
E: so your gonna kiss her ass for teh rest of your life?
T: ... what else can i do?
E: set her straight!! dont let her boss you around! she's YOUR bitch!
T: ... she's not my BITCH
E: what?
T: im not gonna call her my bitch. no way. forget about it.
E: why not? dude! shes YOUR bitch, say it!
T: no! nuh uh! no!
E: say it!
T: no! shes not my bitch!
E: they are considered bitches when a pimp grants them or when you get married. or, thats what Dino told me. anyway... so! pimp keifer, claim your bitch!!
T: who the hell is Dino?
E: he works at the bar down the road, midnight on tuesdays and wendsdays. now tell her!
T: ...your a fucking retard!! only you would take advice from a BARTENDER!
E: i didnt take his advice! i just remember our discussion on how a pimp raises his bitches. go call your wife and cry, pansy ass!
T: NO! fine, she's my bitch..
E: hahaha congrats!

Bird Flowers

T= tom
E= eric
Chey= short for Cheyenne
*side notes

T: I HATE KAYLA
E: what??
T: shes being a bitch! she texted robin who told jeff who told me that kayla said that i'd rather tour than go with her to hawii!
E: ....one more time. that was confusing
T: kayla's been shit talking me!!
E: well..you've said some things to. like, on the bus the other day. now, what she said wasn't nearly as harsh as what you said...
T: so?? she can't do that!! only i can! *dominant
E: .... your such a hippocrate. hope you know that, tom
T: i dont care! i'm in charege of this relationship!!
E: hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah oh, really? well, if you think of it that way, it's never gonna last. *relationship expert
T: like YOU'D know! you break up with chey every other week
E: hey! she's just the type of woman that doesn't know what she wants. so she breaks up with me! but she always comes back! don't get me involved in this, tom. just because your marriage is crap doesn't mean you have to take it out on me..
T: ITS NOT CRAP! YOUR CRAP! MY MARRIAGE IS FINE!
E: oh really?? "I HATE KAYLA" i dont think that's healthy, man
T: you hate chey sometimes too!
E: i never say i HATE her
T: but you do, right!
E: i dont! whats your fight even about anyways?
T: the tour
E: what do you mean?
T: she's mad because the tour is going longer than expected, and we're gonna have to go to hawii later.
E: so then why are YOU mad?
T: because she's yelling at me and saying i'd rather tour than spend time fixing our marriage! and that i did this on purpose!
E: well, did you explain to her that it's not what she thinks? or did you just yell and make things worse for yourself, like you always do
T: the first thing you said! but, she didnt listen.
E: then you yelled?
T: yeah... so?
E: so what are you gonna do?
T: i dont know!! what should i do?
E: if i were you, i'd try to make it up to her with something special.
T:.. does that work? or should i just get another tattoo?
E: why would you get another tattoo?
T: they make her happy... if they pertain to her..
E:... wow! what would you get this time?
T: i dont know.. what would you get?
E: i dont know. you will think of something. lets see, you got your nipple peirced, a tattoo of her name across your back, and her lip print on your hip. what else is there?
T: my body has already gone through too many modifications.. how about i just her her flowers?
E: does she like flowers??
T: i think so....
E: so then whats her favorite? cuz if you get her the wrong kind, she will never forgive you, trust me.
T: do flowers work with your girlfriends?
E: cheyenne loves flowers. exspecially when i put cheesy notes on them
T: good... and i can write something cheesy! what about ex's? did they like flowers to?
E: i never got them flowers.. so, this that what your gonna do? get her orchids with a dumb card?
T: no... she likes bird something flowers.. i think
E: bird flowers? what?? well, flowers only work with SOME people and SOME dissagreements..
T: like?? TELL ME DUDE!!
E: like, when cheyenne thought i didnt want to marry her.. i gave her flowers to show her that i DO care, and to save my ass! or, when you call your girlfriend by your ex's name. or when you accidnently shoot her cat. or when you meet her sister for the first time and say "aww when is the baby due?" but she's actually just fat... small fuck ups, you know?
T:... is this a small fuck up?
E: is it?
T: it should be... i didn't shoot Helo..
E: depends on how mad she is... have you talked to her since yesterday?
T: no...
E: did you TRY to call her?
T: was i suppost to?
E:....your SO dumb!! how have you gotton this far??
T: because! we havn't fought much...
E: fine, uhh.. forget the flowers then
T: no! i'll send flowers and call!
E: call first.. and be NICE! and apologize! then get her those bird flowers and think of something cheesy to put in the card. and attach her favorite candy bar to it.
T: what candy does she like?!?!
E: i dont know!!
T: god damnit! :( i'm doomed...
E: thats why you have me!! i'm the expert in saving guy's asses, and your...
T: AND MY MARRIAGE!!
E: just, dont fuck up again, okay? next time, i'm charging ya.
T: .....

'Cuz There Ain't No Breeze that Cools the Heat of Love

F= fred
K= kayla

F: Hiya toots!
K: hello freddie
F: how are youuuu and what are youuu doing?
K: haha i'm pretty good, just went shopping. bought me some summer clothes.
F: good for you! now its time for you to ask me how i'm doohan.
K: hahaha how are you doing freddie?
F: im doohan okay. went shopping with Eric, and he got attacked by a bird. thats what i call karma!
K: HAHAHA thats funny! only eric.. kinda funny how we both went shopping, tho :)
F: we have SO much in common!
K: haha we do! we just need to go shopping together!
F: and you can buy me things!!
K: haha maybe, if im allowed to. i need to get you a cowboy hat..
F: a black one please
K: aww for real? i'll definatly get you a cowboy hat! :D but we will have to wait til i see you tho. i need to pick it out, to make sure it looks good on you.
F: please gir, i look good in anythang.
K: haha sooo i should be tehre in 2 days :)
F: OH YES! I'M EXCITED! you gonna bring me a present?
K:: i dunno
F: i hate you :(
K: wow! what can you possiably want from me??
F: a black cowboy hat pwease
K: fine.. whateva the baby wants
F: I KNEW THERE WAS PROPS TO BEING YOUNG
K: haha okay freddie. but i may not be able to give it to you for a few months.
F: why is that?
K: me and tommy are going to hawii alone for awhile
F:....... your what??
K: going to hawii.. didn't tom tell you?
F: no... why are you doing this to me?
K: what do you mean?
F: leaving me!
K: you will be fine, freddie! i promise! i'll only be in hawii for like.. three months max.
F:.... i have to go
K: what? why? you can't go!
F: bye!
K: what? fred, no!

Saint Jimmy

{ Eric Brittingham }

They call him Saint Jimmy. i have never questioned it. i suppose it's meant to be ironic. saint jimmy is far from the definition of "saint". i dont know who jimmy is. he's not a musician, drug dealer, pimp, or even a manager. jimmy is just a guy who hangs around that is cool with everybody. no one really knows where he comes from.

"Boy, you look like shit." he told me. the bartender layed another beer on the coaster in front of me. "i feel like shit, jimmy." i said, chugging half the glass. "you remember Cheyenne, right?" i asked him. i can't remember if Jimmy has ever met Cheyenne, or at least heard me talk about her. I try to keep Cheyenne away from these sorts of guys. It's trouble that our relationship doesn't need. somehow, nikki sixx slipped past my barrier. "yeah." jimmy said. "it's over." i was worried that Cheyenne would never come back. i haven't heard from her in two months. when i told her that we needed a break, i expected her to realize within a few days that she couldn't handle living without me. "that's tough, man." jimmy mumbled. i looked at his glass, over flowing with foam and bubbles. "you have no idea. you know, i asked her to marry me. how stupid am I! all these years she has been nagging at me, picking fights and crying because she wanted to get married. now, look where it has gotton us. i'm mopping in a bar, and she's probably in California mooching off Nikki!" i have to learn to not give in to anything Cheyenne tells me to do. she's obviously wrong. marriage was not the best thing for us. I called that from the beginning.

I watched droplets of condensation run down jimmy's glass. jimmy rolled a piece of paper from a straw wrapper between his two fingers. "i'm sorry, but i'm going back to the bus." i told him. i felt like a bore. i grabbed my coat from the back of my hair "i'll see you around, jimmy." with that, i stumbled my way out of the bar.

Gimmie All of your Love

T= tom
K= kayla

T: good! lets make this more interesting!
K: hahaha how shall we ever do that?
T: lets see... if we could do anything right now, what would you choose to do?
K: hahaha well, RIGHT NOW, i would say we would have dinner.. i know that's not interesting, but its the truth. i'm starving. what would you wanna do, tommy?
T: sex. like, a lot of sex. then dinner!
K: hahaha feeling lonley?
T: just a little
K: awww my poor baby!
T: i know! i need some loving! bably!
K: now, dont go looking for some, okay?
T: im not!! i'll just go cry myself to sleep. and i'll tell my penis not to get his hopes up.
K: aww im sorry tommy! and tell your dick i'm sorry for him too
T: he's not excepting any apologies, and he called your vagina a cunt.
K: haha thats to bad, cuz she misses him.
T: does she! well, he's gonna pretend like he doesnt miss her.
K: tsk tsk. sooo how is everything else going, tommy? besides your lack of sex.
T: bad! i miss you!
K: aww i miss you too honey! you need to get home!
T: you better! i wanna see your new boobs!
K: i showed you! was that not good enough?
T: not the same
K: thats cuz they dont look noticably different. see, i should demand my money back.
T: they do! but its not the same as actually SEEING THEM.
K: thats to bad :(
T: it is. fly out here!
K: you fly HERE!
T: i cant!
K: why not? tommy, you know i cant fly. when are you coming close to here? i'll drive.
T: well, i want you NOW!
K: im sorry. whadda you want me to do?
T: you can tell me how im suppost to live without you!
K: you cant. thats why i'll be in utah with you next week, okay?
T: ...you will? :D
K: of course i will! but shhhh, it's suppost to be a suprise
T: you little! i love you!

My Eyes are up Here

( This txting convorsation may not make a lot of sense, and i apolgize for that. but, some of the messages got earased, so this is all i had. )

K= kayla
F= fred

F: HIYA BABE

F: because you ruined my sexy icecream eating!
K: sexy icecream eating??
F: i looked damn fine!
K: who are you eating sexy for? jeff??
F: NO! you! kinda..
K: what? its not like i can see you..
F: so..

K: i got a boobjob!
F: show me your large boobage!!!
K: what?
F: i wanna see!
K: you cant see! tom would kill me, you know that!
F: tom doesnt have to know!
K: well maybe i dont want to send you a picture of my boobs..
F: ..thanks. i feel important
K: you have to SWEAR on your life that you wont tell tommy.
F: i promise babe!
K: *sends picture. remember, you SWORE! on your life.. so, if you tell, i get to kill you.
F: too bad your wasting those on tom...
K: wadda ya mean?
F: you look hot!
K: awww for realz?
F: DUHH!! you always do! excpet, moar!
K: hahaha thanks freddie!
F: your very welcome..

F: uh.. gotta motor! catch you later babe!

Kitty, Kitty

( I am going to try something a bit different. This format is going to be used for TEXTING )
K= kayla
F= Fred

F: KAYLA! THIS IS URGENT!
K: oh my god, whats wrong freddie?!
F: NO MORE DAMN POPTARTS!
K: ....really, freddie? thats it?
F: and i'm pregnaunt
K: awww congrats! lucky bastard, i'm jealous!
F: ....uh, dont be! it's a siamese thing.
K: its a what? oh well. sooo, how are you doin'?
F: Terriable. no poptarts or kitty cats.
K: awww my poor baby!
F: I KNOW! better not let tom know you called me baby
K: i meant baby as in a kid.. you know, cuz you're the youngest
F: oh, really? ;) well i know your a horny sphynx, so i know you meant it.
K: oh, did i?
F: yes. i know it, sex kitten.
K: hahahahaha i dont even remember why you call me that
F: because your a wild cat!
K: hahahaha why, thank you?
F: your welcome! i know you think i'm a crazy beast in bed too
K: is that what we're talking about now? sex?
F: i do believe so. was it good for you?
K: of course!
F: good. we need to do that again some time.
K: what??
F: you know... if you and tom break up.. not NOW
K: right...
F: sorry about that..
K: no, no. its cool. sooo whatcha doin'?
F: watchin some dumb movie with the guys. this girl is getting raped by her boyfriend.
K: wow, intense
F: she just killed him. hahaha just sat there and went "DAYUM!"
K: hahaha aww he's tooooo cute!
F: ....is NOT! i'm cuter!
K: aww jealouse freddie? well, sounds like a night well spent, eh?
F: yeah, i guess. it would have been better if you were here.
K: why is that?
F: cuz. i gotta go now, the guys are being jerks.
K: what? noooo
F: bye poptart kitty

Desert Sun

This morning when i woke up, i quickly got dressed and headed down to fred's hotel room before he left for sound check.
I knocked on the door. When fred came to the door, he wore nothing but blue and white basketball shorts with a dog tag necklace around his neck. his hair hasn't been brushed quite yet, nor been washed. Fred rubbed his eyes with his fingers as he said "good morning kitten. what can i do for ya?" he scratched his chest. "can i talk to you?" i asked. "can you make it fast, babe?" "i'll try my best" i said, walking into his room and taking a sea on the edge of his bed. Fred grabbed a shirt from the floor and a pair of jeans from the back of the recliner. he walked into the bathroom and shut the door "start talkin'." he said, from inside the bathroom. "i want to know what you have been saying about me, i know that you know what i'm talking about. so, dont even try to talk your way out of this!" i think i just confused myself. "yeah, i know what i say." he said, being a smart ass. "can you tell me?" Fred walked out of the bathroom, fully clothed with his hair combed. "why would i do that? unless, of course, you have something to offer me in return." you gotta be kidding me.. "i'm taking a risk here." he added. "look, i have nothing to offer." he smiled "i'm sure we can work something out." i ignored the comment. "freddie! you can tell me. i promise that i wont get mad.." "i'm not going to tell you everything." oh, figures. "why not?" he laughed "trust me, some shit, your better off not knowing, babe." i didn't say a word. i waited for him to tell me. he soon got the hint. "okay. so, i said a few things. so what? who told you anyway? was it Eric?" i shook my head "it doesn't matter." he laughed at himself, either out of nervousness, or guiltiness-i am not sure if those are even words. "fred, are you going to tell me or what? you know, your a real jerk to talk shit about me, you know that?" "who said i was talking shit?" oh, sly dog, you. "what?" Fred opened the door. "i have sound check to attend. if you dont mind." fine, if fred wasn't going to tell me himself, then i;m sure i can get it out of jeff.

Talk is Cheap

i walked down the hall and knocked on Jeff's door. From inside, he yelled "Come in!" Jeff is so stupid, that he's cute. "i can't. i need a key, dumbass." he opened the door "sorry, i forgot about that..." When i walked into his room, i heard "when doves cry" echoing against the walls of the room. "you like prince?" i asked, not suprised. "yeah!" i paced around the room, checking things out. i noticed he was watching "josie and the pussycats". "so, what did you come here for?" Jeff asked, turning off the radio. "i uh.. wanted someone to talk to." Jeff wasn't my first choice to see advice from, but i'm desperate, and no one else understands. plus, Jeff knew everything that was going on. Fred trusts Jeff, why shouldn't I? "is something bugging you?" He asked. I took a deep breath before saying, "Fred.." "not again.." Jeff knew, just as much as I did, that there is a problem. "hey!" I didn't ask for him to judge me. "well, what are you going to do?" he asked me. "i dont know. i was hoping that you could tell me." "i can't do that.." If jeff cant help me, then no one can. "what? what did you do, jeff?" he quickly defended himself "me? i did nothing! I just- know things... you know?" i guess you can call it backstage talk. like, locker room talk. only, it's backstage.." thanks Jeff, like i couldn't figure that out on my own. "tell me what fred's been saying" he saved his ass by saying "what happens backstage, stays backstage. you know that." fuck, he got me..

Hotel California

i jumped out of bed and peaked out of the hotel room, down the hall. i didn't notice anything unusual. out of curiosity, i roamed the hallway, waiting to hear the noise again. there was only six rooms on this hallway, to which four belonged to members of Cinderella. i stood infrount of room 76. i leaned my ear against the door and listened. nothing. i could have sworn that someone rented this room. so, i knocked on the door, "is anyone in there?" i shouted. i didn't care if i was waking up a stranger. "what's it to ya?" someone shouted back to me. "freddie?" i recognized his voice. i heard the locks unjam and the door squeak open. fred smiled when he saw me "hey kitten!" he wore only a pair of leather pants. a silver cross necklace layed on his bare chest. a green cap tamed down his wild curly hair. "did you hear that noise?" i asked him. he laughed, ignoring my question "come in, come in, my darling." "i don't know if i should.. Tom is already on my case about-" fred interrupted me "come in." he insisted.
When i walked into the room i saw Jeff sitting on a wooden chair next to the bed with a cigarette in his mouth, and an ashtray on his lap. "hey kayla." he said, followed by a hiccup. "hey jeff, should i tell her what the noise was?" Fred threatened Jeff. "don't!" Fred laughed "who knows, it could have been an earthquake. California, eh?" Fred said, picking up a beer that layed on the wooden table beside the bed. "did the noise wake you?" he asked me. "no, i uh- wasn't sleeping." how could i sleep when my mind was so caught up between- "it's like- one in the morning. why aren't you sleeping, kitty?" "i could ask you boys the same thing." i replied. "and i can give you an awnser." i loved how sassy Freddie was. "well, i couldn't fall asleep. it's not a problem." i admitted. "well, me and Jeff are just hangin' out." i looked over to Jeff who was putting out his cigarette in the ashtray. "so.. uh.. how are you and Tom doing?" Fred asked me. "we are..fine.." "no signs of breaking up soon?" He asked me. "you trying to make your move?" i asked. "no! its just that-" Jeff interrupted him "yeah, SURE that's what you mean, buddy." "shut up Jeff!" Fred barked.

Check and Mate

I was on my way to the dressing room after the show when Jeff pulled me aside. "Hey, do you have a second?" He asked me. Streams of sweat rolled down his face, his hair sticking to his forehead. "Is this serious?" i started to worry, Jeff rarely speaks to me. "I've been hearing things.. and i just wanted to check on you. is everything okay?" Jeff's been hearing things about me? who could be talking about me? I bet it's Cheyenne.. She has been sour towards me ever since i called her a bitch for bragging about her engagement ring. "what do you mean? who's saying shit about me?" Jeff looked around, checking the scene for witnesses. He pulled me closer and whispered "i shouldn't be telling you this.. but Fred has said a few things.." i felt the heat escape the surface as his skin. "What does Fred know! don't listen to him!" i yelled. Jeff continued to whisper "i'm guessing things are a bit shakey between you two right now, eh?" I denied it "no, everything is wonderful, actually." He looked confused. "what's going on?" He asked me. "something just happened. no big deal." I didn't feel comfortable being below the metal stairs-that lead up to the stage-alone with jeff breathing on my face. "that's not what he said." i didn't want to know what Fred has been saying behind my back, and i didn't care either. "i know. just- whatever you do, don't listen to a word he says. whatever shit he is talking- it's not true." with that, i backed away from Jeff and continued towards the dressing room.
Eric was blow drying the sweat out of his blonde hair. He was bent over, running a comb through his hair. "hey Eric, where did everyone go?" He turned off the blow dryer and started teasing his hair. "around. i don't know where they run off to after a show. how about you go look for them." what did i do to make Eric hate me? "Have you seen Cheyenne?" i asked him. "she didn't come tonight." "why not?" he rolled his eyes at me "fuck- i dont know!" "are you sure?" i asked him. "kayla, i really dont know, nor do i care where everyone is." Eric sprayed his hair with hairspray. "damn. what's your problem?!" i said before walking out.

Evening in a Hotel

It was evening when i heard a knock on the door. Tom looked at me "will you get it?" he asked. I had just gotten comfortable. The holiday inn doesn't necessarily have the most high-end mattresses. i got out of bed anyway, seeing as the door would never get answered if i didn't. "Tom, you lazy son of a bitch." he smiled as he said "love you too, babe!" i ignored him and answered the door.
Jeff stood before me. "Jeff?" his hands were placed in the pockets of his jeans. He seemed eager. "umm.. i need to tell you something. it's not really about me, it's about fred." I knew instantly that whatever the news was, it would be something i didn't want to hear. "yeah..can you uh- give me a second?" i closed the door on jeff. "tom. i'll be right back, okay?" i grabbed the closest piece of clothing around me, Toms leather coat, from the arm of the chair and slipped it on. "where are you going?" He asked me. "dont worry about it." i said, pulling up the sleeves to my elbows.
I stepped into the hallway. "okay, Jeff. tell me whats going on." i buttoned up the jacket, enough so that it covered my pajamas. i didn't want jeff seeing me in my night clothes.. "he saw what happened the other night, he's a mess.." "he saw that?" oh, poor freddie. "you weren't upset about it?" Jeff asked me. "well.. i didn't see it coming. tom wasn't even drinking. it like- came out of no where, i guess.." i felt exposed. i didn't think anyone was watching. Jeff looked down the hall "well, fred saw everything!" "i'm sorry! i didn't mean for-" he interrupted me "don't apologize to me. i'm just letting you know.." with that, he turned away and walked down the hall. "oh, come on, Jeff!" i yelled after him. he ignored me.
Great. fuckin' great. Me and Tom try to do something together for once, and it bites me in the ass! go figure..

The Game

I said goodbye to Tom. I know that i wont see him again 'til sometime next year. When i got involved with a Rock Star, i didn't think it would be this difficult to watch him leave. I know what goes on at their shows. I know the type of women who hang around that scene. Something was bound to happen!
I couldn't handle watching Tom get on the bus and drive away, so, i sat in the living room. Cheyenne was probably holding Eric hostage in their basement, refusing to let him leave. "Hey Kayla! stand up!" Fred said, barging into my house. "Fred! what do you think you're doing?! you can't just let yourself into-" Before i could finish, he picked me up from the couch and tossed me over his shoulder, as if i was as light as a sweatshirt. "Freddie! what on earth!?" he laughed. "Calm down, hun. i'm only taking you outside." I pounded my fist off his back "Put me down! i can walk, you know!" i yelled. he ignored me.
When we got outside, i noticed jeff had cheyenne over his shoulders as well. Eric laughed "come on guys, we need to get going. you had your fun." he said. "Jeff! put me down! HAHAHAHA Jeff!" Cheyenne yelled, flirtatiously. "I'll put you down in the back lounge." Jeff told Cheyenne. Eric budded in, again "Jeff, don't even!" Jeff swatted Cheyenne's ass as he said "come on, i'm only messing around!" "oww! jeff! quit it! HAHAHAHA put me down!" Cheyenne only encouraged Jeff to continue harassing her "Come on, Cheyenne. pretend you like this. moan for me, real loud." Tom laughed at Jeff's order. "If i do, will you put me down?" Cheyenne asked. "I'll think about it." Cheyenne, letting out a loud moan, said "OHHHH JEFF!!" Jeff, amused, said "I change my mind. i like you up there." Fred then turned to me and said "Kayla! take off your shirt!" he said, tugging on my blouse. "Fred, let go!" i said, swatting his hand away. "Come on Kayla! pull my hair and moan for me!" What kind of sick joke are they playing? i rolled my eyes. "Fred, i don't think so." there was no way that i was playing their little game. I exspecially didn't want to hurt Tom. "Please Kayla, Cheyenne did it!" oh, whatever. "OHHHHHH FREDDIE!!!" i yelled, wail tugging on his hair. he laughed, proud that he influenced me to do it. Tom watched, growing impatient and angry. "Come on Kay, let's have sex! we call the back lounge!" Fred announced, running into the bus. Jeff followed "hey! i called the back lounge first!" Was i missing something? for one; why did Fred suddenly want to have sex with ME? two; what ever happened to Fred ignoring me? three; Why wasn't Tom intervening?
Once on the bus, Eric demanded that Jeff and Fred let go of us. They did as Eric told them. "I have an idea!" Jeff announced. "what is it?" Cheyenne asked. "look, don't rule this off so fast. but, i say we experiment. let's make this a rule, kind of like a game. the only rule is, Tom can't have sex with kayla, and Eric can't have sex with Cheyenne." Eric interrupted before Jeff could continue with his speech, "Whoa, whoa, i don't like this game so far." Jeff continued to speak "Hold up, give it a chance. we have sex with anyone we want. i can fuck cheyenne, fred can fuck kayla, or tom can screw cheyenne if he wants." fred started to clap his hands "brilliant! your a fucking genius, jeff!" Fred yelled. Jeff took a bow as he said, "Thank you, very much. so, what do you say?" Tom shook his head "no way! you sick son of a bitch!" Jeff pointed to me "do you want to hear what kayla thinks about this?" I love tom, but i figure that sex with Fred couldn't hurt. "i.. uh.. it doesn't sound so bad.." i took long pauses between words. "you really want to do this, kayla?" Tom asked me. "you want to do this?!" Fred asked, excited. i nodded my head "sure." Jeff pointed to Cheyenne "what do you say, babe?" Eric waited for an awnser. "yeah." Cheyenne said. "now, it's up to Tom and Eric." Jeff said. "well.. if Kayla wants to.. then i guess I'm in." Tom said, looking like he was already regretting it. "fine!" Eric mumbled. Jeff grabbed Cheyenne by the hand "yes! come on, Cheyenne. we're going to the back lounge." Cheyenne laughed and followed him. "i can't listen to this." Tom said, locking himself in the bathroom. "hey! where am i supposed to hide?!" Eric yelled after Tom. "go to bed! listen to your Walkman!" Eric crossed his arms "fine!" Eric went into his bunk. Fred looked at me. oh boy..

Mr. Bean

{ Tom Keifer }

I needed someone to keep me company. with out kayla by my side, i've been feeling lonely.

Fred sat on the couch, playing with a light up yoyo. i watched the yoyo bounce up and down. "isn't this the coolest thing you've ever seen?" fred asked me. i nodded my head, not taking my eyes off the yoyo, i asked "hey fred, can i tell you something?" fred has been less of a friend to me lately, but as of right now, he was the only person i could talk to. "sure" he said, pulling up the yoyo and wrapping the string neatly around it. "do you ever feel like-do you ever ask yourself "what are you doing here?"" he placed the yoyo beside him and focused his attention on me, like a friend should. "i guess." fred told me. "do you realize i sleep alone every night?" i asked him. "wanna get bunk beds!" he shouted, excitingly. i tried not to laugh "i'm pouring my heart out to you, and you make jokes!" "sorry.." sometimes, i admire fred for making tense situations more relaxed by adding humor, but this was not one of those times. "i can't handle being away from kayla" i told him. i would bring kayla along, if i didn't think it would cause problems with Fred. but, it always does. "well...uhh.. she's coming this week, right?" kayla told me that she would meet me in Utah this week. i haven't told the guy's because i know they would be angry. it wouldn't be fair for kayla to come, and not cheyenne or robin. "how did you know?" i asked fred, suspiciously. "i...uhh.. she told me.." "you've been talking to her?" damn, even when she's not on tour with us, she still finds a way to get involved with fred. "well.. we've texted each other once or twice." so, she's been keeping this from me. makes me wonder.."right.." now i remember why i can't talk to fred. i got off the couch "tom, come on. you can talk to me." he told me. i ignored him. great, now i can't trust anyone. not my wife or my friend. i'm alone.

Like a Surgeon..

Cheyenne, being the wonderful friend that she is, accompanied me wail i made an apointment at the plastic surgery station in Nashville. The thought of surgeons cutting my body into pieces with sharp tools and touching my insides was unpleasant. i know that the surgeon has to explain, in detail, exactly how he is going to preform the procedure, it's the law. Being horrified, i was going to beg him to make an exception for me. sure, a boob job isn't the most risky procedure, but it freaked me out!
The secretary lead us to Dr. Herman's office. the walls of his office were lined with collage degrees and photos of pleased patients. "Dr. Herman will join you in a few moments." the secretary informed us wail walking out of the room. Cheyenne pointed to a photo hanging on the wall near the door "kayla, check this out." i looked at the photo "is that Cher?" i asked. "look, it's even autographed." i read the writing aloud "To Dr. Herman, i'm pleased with the results. thank you. love, Cher." i started to feel slightly comfortable. this surgeon worked on cher, and she's gorgeous! i have nothing to worry about, right? "i wonder what she had done.." Cheyenne said. "please take a seat, ladies." Dr. Herman said, entering the room. we did as we were told. "what can i do for you, mrs?" he said, taking off his plastic gloves.

Fireflies

Tiki posts lined the edges, separating the meadow from a field of tree's. The moon floated above the tree's. we s sat in plastic lounge chairs, with beers in our hands and smiles on our faces as we watched the fourth of July spirit in fireworks. Streams of smoke would fly into the sky, only to burst into colorful rain. "hey kay," i heard freddie say. kay? that's what tom calls me.. "you wanna play with some fireworks?" fred asked me, pulling the box of sparklers towards himself. "uh, sure." i've never been the kid to play with fireworks. i'd rather watch. Fred handed me a stick. "let's go out into the meadow." he said. Tom opened another beer, ignoring the situation. "okay Freddie, give me one second." i handed my unfinished cigarette to Cheyenne. i looked over to tom, sitting in a chair with his right leg crossed over the other. He watched as Fred grabbed my hand and pulled me into the meadow.
The fireflies were instantly drawn towards us as we entered the meadow. They circled around our bodies as if they were dancing. Fred pulled out a lighter from his pocket and lit my stick before his own. "you know, i had an aunt who was burned by a firework one year, right on her nose." i shared with fred as i moved my sparkler across the sky. "my father use to sell fireworks. you know, one of those ghetto stands that are always out in the middle of nowhere." "a firework set my grandfather's hay field on fire." i watched fred twirl his sparkler "i always liked to make pictures in the air with these things." He spelt my name in the air from the smoke coming off the sparkler. i laughed "i have never played with fireworks" i said. "what? thats crazy, why not?" "i wasn't interested. i would rather watch them than set them off." "understandable." he said. i noticed my stick was shorter than it was a moment ago. "Freddie, is it supposed to do this?" like i said, i was never the kid to play with fireworks, i had no explanation as to why the flame was suddenly approaching my hand. "its supposed to do that, dont worry. because, you know, fire burns wood." he said. i held out my stick farther away from my body. "kayla, its only a sparkler. i've been playing with these since i was 3 years old. nothing is gonna happen, i promise." i took my sparkler and spelt "freddie" in the air. he smiled "there you go!"

Pacifier

Have you thought about opening the door, to a car that is driving sixty miles an hour on a highway during rush hour, and jumping out? i have this thought often.

When i was in highschool, my mother would pick me up at the Mcdonalds down the road because she hated the traffic near the school. When i got into the car, i never quite knew the fate that awaited me. I never knew if my mother was in a good mood, or bad. If she was in a bad mood- for something she found out i did, or because she was stressed- she would yell and curse hurtful things for something as minor as a D on a progress report. She has tried to tell me since, that she pushed me hard back then because i had "potentional" to be something great. bullshit! sure, i was the only kid in my family who had a lick-of-sense. i wasn't occupied with boys like i was with playing guitars. i would rather spend my weekend sitting alone in my room listening to Aerosmith than seeing a movie with my so called "friends".

The thought of jumping is still in my mind. Just today, wail arguing with Tom on our way home from Eric's, it crossed my mind. "How can you be so fucking selfish? what gives you the fucking right to think you're better than everyone else? i'm tired of it!" If only Tom relized how much those words hurt. i felt like i was sitting in the car with my mother, taking one hit after the other. so, how did i act? like an immature teenage brat. "It's Cheyenne's fault!" it was like blamming my "best friend" all over again- a stunt that i pulled quite often back in the day. "kayla,l grow the fuck up! just- god! that's everyone's fucking problem! i'm the only adult around here!"

When i turned 16, my mother came into my room and layed on my bed. With a beer in her hand, and my purple stuffed unicorn in the other, she told me "kayla, you're getting to old to be acting like this. i know your young, but you need to come back down to earth. stop living in your fantasy world. it's time to think about your future and get a job. by the way, if you would just have said "mom, i'm sorry, i know i fucked up" then i would have stopped yelling. instead, you yelled back." and, that's what i had to do. i had to treat tom like my mother. stop my shit and grow up. "tom.. you're right. i'm sorry. i'm wrong and i shouldn't have embarassed you like that." he shook his head, not saying another word. good start, eh?

Neck Vain

I didn't know if Jeff was joking when he said "how about marriage counseling? I hear it really works. You two should try it." He must have been joking. Me and Tom don't need counseling! we dont have any problems. if we did, we could handle them ourselves. the look on Tom's face when he heard Jeff was a clear sign that he agreed with me. "Jeff, what the fuck are you talking about? We dont need marriage counseling!" Jeff shrugged his shoulders "I was just trying to help." "no, no, no Jeff, you're not. you're being a dick!" It's Jeff and Tom that need counseling! fuck, Cinderella needed counseling, lets even through Cheyenne and Nikki in the mix. "how am i being a dick?" "you think your so damn high-and-mighty just because you married robin. Being married doesn't give you the authority to think you know everything!" tom yelled at jeff. "tom, top." i told him, taking his hand, trying to calm him down. Tom has been so up-tight and tense lately. poor baby, he's stressed!

What it Takes

I've spent the day listening to Aerosmith's "What it Takes". Why? Because it makes me feel like shit! Have you ever been in one of those moods where you feel like you deserve to feel terrible? You listen to ballads even though you know they make you feel crappy?
I have always admired Steven Tyler's talent for song writing. He can not only belt-out some serious vocals, but he can write some of the most sarcastic and meaningful lyrics.
This song brought up the thought of freddie. the situation we were currently in made my head spin. was my head spinning in a good way, or bad? see, that question just made my head spin out of control. i know i have strong feelings towards freddie. i couldn't decide if that was a good thing, or bad thing. it could be good for fred. we could finally be together, right? but, what will i do about Tom? i love Tom. He's my husband. I couldn't continue to give fred hopes that one day we would be together, when i know that i could never break Tom's heart.
"Tell me how I'm supposed to let you go!"

Fish Kitten

{ Jeff Labar }

" In 1985 i was dating Amber, a wild blond mama who later married one of the guys in Blue Oyster Cult. she was feral and perpetually aroused. She would have at it with herself and me in the back seat of Eric's crappy vista cruiser.

There was a birthday party for my friend Jake at a local bar. Tom and his girlfriend Kayla were there and at one point Kayla came over to Tom and me and said, "You're not going to believe this, but Jeff's girlfriend, Amber, is flashing her cooha in front of everybody." i said, "what the hell are you talking about?" she said, "yeah, she's walking around with her dress up, and she's flashing her fish kitten in every body's face." i couldn't believe it. i went over and confronted Amber. she flat out denied it. Amber called kayla out. the "fuck you's" were flying back and forth.

I was so angry that Amber flashed.. when here i am, humping Eric's monitor during "shake me" every night.. "

Lord Have Mercy

{ Eric Brittingham }

Without Cheyenne, i go into my "dark place", as Tom likes to call it. My dark place consists of self destruction. i start off by blaming others for my failed relationship. Tom and Kayla are the usual victims of my resentment and uncontrollable anger. then, I'd sink into a depression, aided with drugs and loneliness. fighting between the band soon follows. "you're tearing us apart! you're bringing the band down with you!" Fred yells.

The guys never cared enough to put me in rehab-as if i would actually attend. There has been a few break-ups where my drug use was constant, all day and all night. Tom only nagged at me to get my shit together, fred looked away, and jeff wanted to slap some sense into me.

Mobilization

{ Jeff Labar }

The Coury Plan- a plan created by Fred Coury to destroy the marriage of Kayla and Tom Keifer for his own selfish gain.

The Coury Plan consisted of one goal: triumph over Tom to gain Kayla as an award.

Step 1: "Find a woman suitable to get the job done"

Fred sent me on a journey to recruit Tom's ideal woman, a young lady with fair hair in a tight bikini with an accent. in Hawii, she wasn't difficult to find. Britney was a twenty year old girl from Orgean with a southern accent.

Step 2: "Plantation"

We disguised Britney as a studio manager from Ray's Records. An appointment was set at a local cafe to talk "business". Fred scheduled to have coffee with kayla at the same time as the plan was in motion. I sat at a corner table, watching everything unfold. My job was to create a distraction, if necessary. "So, how has it been, freddie?" i heard Kayla ask. "it's been going." fred replied, scanning the room to check if Tom and Britney had arrived. "i see.." fred pointed to the door as Tom and Britney walked into the cafe. "kayla, dont look now, but tom is here with another woman." kayla looked anyway. "that must be the lady he was supposed to be meeting with today. he told me about that." she didn't seem to concerned. Tom and Britney sat at the table across the room. Tom hadn't noticed kayla sitting with Fred. "you sure? they look pretty cozy, dont ya think?" kayla watched britney's every move. "should i go over there?" "why would you do that?" well played, fred. "well, i mean- you know..." "there is no need." i gave Britney the signal, a tip of my baseball cap followed by a cough. with that, she leaned across the table and kissed Tom. i watched as kayla's eyes widened and her mouth drop. "he-he- that bastard!" she yelled wail standing up. Tom pushed Britney away and noticed his wife. "kayla? what are you- no! its not what it looks-" before he could finish, kayla ran out of the cafe. i gave Britney the sign to leave. "kayla! wait!" not part of the plan, i must create a distraction. Tom wasn't allowed to follow her out. that was fred's job. i took off my beaded bracelet and tossed it across the room, aiming for Tom's drink. when the bracelet hit the paper cup, it spilled on tom's pants. "shit!" he grabbed napkins from the dispencer and quickly applied them to his lap. Fred ran after Kayla.

Step 3: "sympathy"

It's going to take more than one comforting session to convince kayla to be with Fred. the first, was a success. My job is to now stop all contact between Tom and Kayla. if they were to speak, Tom could convince Kayla to forgive him and the coury plan would be terminated..

Steak Night

{ Eric Brittingham, 86 }

Steak night at Tom's house was the one night of the month where i was fed something high in protein and eatable. i love cheyenne, but she can't cook to save her life. usually, we order Chinese, occasionaly pizza.

Steak night was one night a month where everyone would come to Tom's house for steaks, potatoes beer and "fun". Steak night was created by Kayla to encourage the band to relax and hang out with out the stress of work. it was meant for members of cinderella only. Fred shouldn't have invited Nikki.

"Hey guys, this is my friend Nikki Sixx. Nikki is going to join us, okay?" Fred told us, walking in late. Tom starred at Nikki in silence. If i was Tom, i wouldn't allow a hood-rat like him in my house. "Nice to meet you Nikki. can i get you anything?" kayla asked in her fake polite voice. "Sit over here." Fred told Nikki. Tom leaned towards me and whispered "What is he doing here?" how was i supposed to know? "He is obviously Fred's friend." everyone seemed to feel awkward once Nikki sat at the dinner table. A guy like him didn't belong here. I watched as Nikki tore his steak apart without a knife. "So, Nikki.. how is it goin'?" Jeff awkwardly asked. Nikki looked to Cheyenne. "You must be Cheyenne." He said. Cheyenne looked at me, her eyes saying "I swear, i have never spoken to this man in my life." Fred quickly said "i was telling Nikki about everyone before we arrived so he had an idea who was who." Nikki laughed "right.. that's exactly what happened." something fishy was defiantly going on. "i uh, dont think i should be her, actually." Nikki dropped his fork onto the plate. "umm.. thanks for having me here though. the food was great-bye." with that, he got up and left. Tom glanced over to Fred "what the fuck was that about?" Fred shrugged his shoulders " i was trying to be nice." "well, next time, dont!" Tom told him.

Jungle Love is Driving me Mad

{86}

okay, so having sex with fred in a recording studio after the "counseling" was not smart. it only led him on. now, he thinks it's okay to continue our "game". i should have said no to dinner, but hey, it's food that i don't have to pay for.
It didn't hit me until halfway through the appetizer that i was on a date with Freddie. Fred really wanted to be on a date with me? oh, no. we are not just having sex, we are dating! "freddie, can i ask you something?" i said wail twirling the tiny umbrella in my margarita. "anything!"
"am i your girlfriend?" i asked him, trying not to sound bitchy. "well.. uh.. we um.." it was obvious that he was nervous. damn. i didn't think it would go this far. what am i supposed to do about tom? tom would kill freddie and torture me if he found out what we have been doing behind his back. "am i your boyfriend?" fred asked, dumping all the pressure on me. if i say he is, and we get caught, then i would be blamed. if i say no, then i would break his heart."well.. i don't know. i guess. do you want to be my boyfriend?" i asked him, feeling like a nervous school girl."of course!"
To make it final, fred parked his car near the dumpster behind the restaurant, where we made love in the back seats.

Jaded

The sound of waves crashing against the shore soothed my conscience. Holding Tom's hand wail walking along the coast made me feel secure. My heart beat was rapid and my voice trembled. Since when did Tom make me nervous? Squeak like a school girl! "Do you wanna know something?" Tom asked me. "Of course." i said, trying not to choke on my words. "they say if your hands fit perfectly together with your lovers, then you're soul mates." Tom quoted from our honeymoon. i smiled "awww, Tommy." i rested my head on his shoulder. i knew that all we needed to reconnect with each other was a vacation. this way, we would have nothing to distract us from each other. i rediscovered my love for Tom. for a moment, i thought i was in love with freddie. sometimes, it seems like fred brain washes me, takes control of my mind and body. sneaky bastard. "i love you tommy." i told him. "i love you to."

Shaggy

I guess you could say it was "the heat of the moment" or "the peak of passion". in either case, i found myself shouting "ohhh freddie!" at that moment, everything ceased. "what did you say?" Tom asked me. By his tone of voice, i could tell i was in trouble. "what?" i said, trying to act like i didn't know what Tom was talking about. "you yelled fred.." He rolled off me. "tom.. " i felt TERRIABLE! i can't believe i allowed myself to do such a thing, not like i had any control. Tom ignored me, shifting his body away from mine. "Tom, im sorry. i didn't-" "goodnight." He whispered. I couldn't figure out what has gotton into me lately. I've never been the type of woman to flirt with my husband's best friend, let alone call out his name during intercourse. poor Tom. "goodnight.." i didn't know what else to say. what could i say? it was an accident?

Every Rose has it's Thorn

{ Jeff Labar }

Laying in dirt, crouched behind a bush in front of Tom's beach house was not the way i wanted to spend my time off. i would rather be in Nashville, laying by the pool with Robin. When Fred asked me to join him Hawii, i didn't think we would be spying on Kayla and Tom. I dont know what Fred's problem is. Why fly all the way to Hawii, waste your vacation days at home, and spy on a married couple? Fred Deny's his feelings towards Kayla. but, i was the one he talked to when they ran into trouble in the past. Fred thinks i'm stupid. but, the truth is, i know just about everything. what i understand so far is, Fred is jealous of Tom, for obvious reasons. Fred believes that wail in Hawii, Tom and Kayla may reconnect, destroying his chances of taking her away. I'm waiting for Fred to come up with a plan to sabotage their marriage.

"Do you see that?!" Fred shouted. "shhh!!" if Fred were to blow our cover, Tom would never forgive me for taking part in this. "can you believe that?!" He whispered. "See what?! you're the one with the binoculars!" Fred took the binoculars away from his eyes. "right.... here!" he handed me the binoculars. i lifted them to my eyes and peaked through the window. "so? they are only watching a movie." oh my god, fred is freaking out over nothing. "watching a movie!? look at his hand! look where it is!" without looking, i handed the binoculars back to Fred. "This is ridiculous." I told him. "ridiculous?" "yes! this is fucking ridiculous! this is so fuckin' pathe-" he tackled me, covering my mouth his his hand. "shh!" i clutched my teeth, the only way i could let out the pain from the thorns of the rose bush Fred had pushed me into. "this is NOT ridiculous! this is... it's uh.. a game! we are pretending to be secret agent ninja spies! Tom is evil Dr. Quifer. He has kidnapped Kayla! we have to save her, before it's to late!" Fred can't be serious.. you know, i don't even understand how he can think Kayla wants him. what would Kayla want with a guy like Fred? I smacked Fred's hand away from my mouth, and crawled out of the rose bush. Fred helped wipe the dirt off my clothes. "fred, i don't understand you." i told him. He patted my back, hard enough for the dirt to roll of my shirt. "what is there to understand?" "what is your deal? why come here?" i shook my hair out, pulling leaves out of my bangs. Fred started walking away from the house. I followed "come on fred, you can tell me. you tell me everything." He ignored me. "fred?" with that, he started to walk faster. i let him get away. it's still early in "the game". I'll figure this mystery out sooner or later..

War Among The Young And Rich

{ Jeff Labar }

I ended up between two central powers. It seemed like i was digging my own trench for battle. Burying myself deeper. I was caught between two ruthless dictators, Tom and Fred, two friends who needed my support.

I soon found myself back in the trench, laying in sand between fred and a hot dog stand. i didn't know what was more dangerous, separating fred from a hot dog stand, or lying to tom. i knew if tom found out that i was helping fred sabotage his marriage, he would murder me!

As fred finished his soft pretzel, he whispered "i can't hear them, can you?" i could hardly understand the words they were speaking. the music coming from the speakers hanging on the hot dog stand over powered their voices. "so, what do you say to dinner tonight, at the rotton banana?" i heard tom say. "what are they saying?" fred asked. "shhh!" i thought to myself, if i told fred what they are planning, he would drag me along. if i didn't tell fred, then he would miss a chance of sabotage. "i cant hear them, sorry." i told him. "damn!" fred kicked the sand, sending grains through the air. "fred, you need to calm down, this plan of yours is going no where. you would make more progress if you tell her how you feel, THEN sabotage her marriage." he starred at me. "what are you saying?" right then, my brain hatched an idea. a light bulb flickered on above my head. "do you remember what happened in salt lake city? when kayla gave tom the ring back?" i asked fred. he nodded his head. "they were with out a doubt O.V.E.R, right? i mean- kayla was PISSED! she was DONE. all we have to do is get kayla to see tom cheating. then you comfort her, and make your move." fred smiled. "you're fucking brilliant! i fucking love you, man!"

In war, this step would be considered mobilization, right? the process of assembling the army and preparing supplies for war?

Call me General Jeff Labar, commander of Skum!

Seperate Way

{ Eric Brittingham }

The best way for me to deal with this problem is to take a break. if Cheyenne loves me as she says she does, then she will understand. If cheyenne loves me, then she will accept my decisions-including the decision i made for Lori. in my mind, there is NO reason to overreact the way she has..

"Cheyenne... can i talk to you?" i asked her. she looked up from the issue of Metal Sludge magazine that she was reading. "yeah." "i need to talk to you, alone." i may be upset with Cheyenne, but i wasn't low enough to embarrass her infront of our friends. "just tell me here. I'm sure it's no big deal. probably not even worth getting up." she then continued to read the magazine. i had lost her attention. if she was going to be like then, then maybe she deserved to be embarrassed. i stood in the middle of the aisle, between the two couches that everyone was seated on. "eric, get out of my way!" fred complained. "no, i have something to tell cheyenne!" she brought her face up from the magazine once again. "what do you want?" "if your going to act like this, then i want to take a break. give you some time to think things out." i told her. kayla watched, almost as if she was surprised that our relationship wasn't going as planned. tom, was shocked that i didn't ask his advise before making this decision. Fred didn't care, he only wanted me to move out of the aisle so he could have his leg room.Cheyenne's face dropped, like she didn't expect me to break up with her. that was cheyenne's territory- breaking hearts. "fine, if you don't want me there, then I'll leave!" typical cheyenne, always feeling pity for herself. too concerned with how much she THINKS her life sucks more than trying to make it better. always the first to complain then to apologize. "cheyenne, i still love you, and i want to get married. but, i cant stand to be around you when your treating me like crap because of something that happened seven years ago." she closed her magazine and through it at me, hitting my chest, before running to the back lounge.

Shakespearean Players

{ Fred Coury }

" At this point in our career's, we checked into hotels under pseudonyms. if you used your real name, you'd have a tribute band delivering your room service or a girl larger than a grizzly bear trying to climb through your window. mentioning the name Cinderella brought nothing but pain and penicillin.

So, we checked in under names like the Shakespearean players, upchuck and the hurlers, or, my favorite, six legs and four balls. we'd arrive at the holiday inn and they'd say "welcome, Shakespearean players!" we would say stuff like "thank thee, sire." and "will thou showest us-eth to our roometh?" (try saying that with crackers in your mouth.) it was out there, but you know, at four in the morning, anything goes. "

There has been quite a few times when I'd convince Kayla to hang out in my room. Kayla was never comfortable with telling tom "I'm going to Cheyenne's room for a movie. I'll be back before morning." it was a lie that i cooked-up to cover my ass. in the hotel room, Kayla and i would lay on my bed, listening to aerosmith records.

I hated our cruel game of cat and mouse. Kayla teased me to no end. "you want it? you can't have it!" i wanted to be with her more than anything. i tried so hard to get her attention, only to end up with egg on my face.

"she was a city girl, with no responsibility. a pretty little city girl, all fired up and what that girl could do to me.."

...Twise shy

{ Eric Brittingham }

Cheyenne left last night. i tried everything i could to convince her to stay, to no avail. i sulked in self pity on the couch. with out Cheyenne by my side, i felt incomplete. instead of Cheyenne, Fred sat beside me. i watched in utter disgust as Fred lifted the bag of potato chips to his mouth and poured the crumbs down his throat. "Fred, do you have to eat like that around me?" i asked him, annoyed by his lack of table manners. "i learned it from you." smart ass... he continued to speak "i know you probably don't want to hear this right now, but i think you are better off without her. she was bringing you down. i mean- you were close, man. marrying her would have been a disaster!" Fred couldn't be serious.. i have the right to kick his ass, don't i? "your right. i don't want to hear it." i told Fred, knocking the empty potato chip bag out of his hands, watching it fall to the floor. he laughed "really? knocking an innocent bag to the floor? shame!" Fred said. "would you rather i knock you to the floor, Fred?" Fred didn't say another word after that. Tom looked up from his cellphone and said "eric, do you want to talk about it?" no, i really don't want to talk about it. i can hardley handle thinking about it! "eric, you know we are here for you." was tom trying to be a jerk, pretending like he cared when he doesn't give a flying fuck about anyone but himself, and sometimes his wife? or was he trying to be a faggot for actually caring about my relationship problems? in either case, i still didn't want to talk about it. with anyone. "fuck you faggot!" i barked at tom. he rolled his eyes "see, this your problem, eric. where is you compassion?" compassion? fuck, compassion is for pansy's. "so if i had compassion, Cheyenne would still be here? that's not the fucking problem, tom! the problem is, cheyenne is a fucking lunatic! she is over reacting!" fred laughed. "what so funny?! you got something to say, fred!?" i yelled.
"you better shut your trap! before i shut it for you!" i threatened. i was in no mood to deal with they guys. fuck, i need a cigarette.

Once Bitten...

{ Eric Brittingham }

My mind was made up. Nothing was going to influence my disition any further. Cheyenne is fucking crazy for wanting to break-up with me because i was engaged seven years ago. Lori is old news. Lori has not crossed my mind since we departed. Cheyenne is all that matters to me. Why can't she relize that?

Now that i am out of the way. i bet she is going to run to nikki. what does that bastard want with my ex-fiance anyway? last i heard, he had a girlfriend. so, cheyenne is shit out of luck, right?