Plain VS Peanut: The Round to End All Rounds

Tom prefurs to eat a Raisen and cinnamin bagle with a strawberry cream cheese spread for brekfast. Where as i am more simple and prefur a plain bagle with whipped cream cheese filling. i always thought it was strange, how tom can enjoy extravagant and i am content with plain. This is not about bagels and longer- it's me trying to make some sense out of how the things we eat for breakfast reflect our relationship. I'm not the sharpest knife in the kitchen, but i did notice that Tom likes fancy bagels. it's not only bagels- Tom likes the funky ice cream flavors also. When i search the freezer for vanilla ice cream, i usually see flavors such as "Bunny Tracks
or "Peanut Butter Panic". With me being allergic to nuts- you would think that Tom would limit the amount of food in our house that contains nuts.
When we visit his childhood city of Philadelphia, we always make sure to take a break and have cheesecake. My favorite is plain, sometimes when i feel like having something different i will order the strawberry swirl with a small amount of vanilla bean ice cream. Tom will order a chocolate cheesecake with pecans and chocolate syrup.
It's like Plain Vs Peanut. i am plain and Tom is peanut. Not only can i not eat peanuts M&Ms due to my allergy, but I've never been too fond of them to begin with. There will always be people to like plain, and always those who like peanut.

The Owl that cried "Whoo"

I feel like Tom was more upset by the fact that i made a dent in his Jaguar by throwing a rock at the hood, than himself striking me across the face with his hand. This would be the second time that Tom has layed his hand on me. The first- back in 1986 when Cinderella was touring for Night Songs- was caused over the fact that Tom believed that i was "flirting" with Eric's bass tech, Kurt. Cinderella was preforming Shelter Me onstage at the pavilion in Detroit, Michigan when Tom happened to glance over to the far left of the stage. There, he saw me speaking to Kurt; for the record, I'd like to say that we were only chatting. Cheyenne and i were not speaking each other at the time, due to some ridiculous argument we had the previous day. Tom soon jumped to the conclusion that i was "putting the moves" on Kurt. Tom then broke off the chorus of Shelter Me and scuffed off the stage in the middle of a show. Tom pulled Kurt by the collar of his shirt and threw him against a nearby wall. I forget exactly what Tom was yelling to Kurt. But i assume it was along the lines of "Back off!" followed by more hurtful words, I'm sure. Cinderella remained onstage for a few moments after Tom created a scene back stage. Eric and Jeff were the first to Run off stage and check on the situation. Tom didn't realize they were watching and started to yell at me. "You whore!" he would scream as The sweat rolled off his face. I tried to explain to him that i was only trying to hold a conversation with Kurt, and flirting was the farthest action i had in mind. Of course, Tom didn't take my word for it. Tom always thinks himself as honest, never listening to me in times likes this. Fred had spent a few moments alone onstage, trying to entertain the audience with a drum solo. Once he was out of ideas, he came running backstage to see what the problem was. Right then, Fred saw Tom strike my cheek with the back of his hand. Back then, Fred and i were closer than just best friends. The Night Songs tour was the first taste any of us had with being on the road and having nothing to do other than have some fun. Fred and i really took advantage of it. That was the moment that Fred stepped in and pulled Tom away. Eric and Jeff somehow created an argument and before i knew it, they started throwing fists at each other. Soon, they were rolling around the floor. Fred was yelling at Tom for striking me. Fred and Tom were in a fight in no time at all.
That night happened to be the last show Cinderella played on their tour. Ray had called off the remaining shows to consul the band.
This time around, Fred didn't budge in whatsoever. I honestly didn't expect him to with the way things were happening between us. Fred has a new girlfriend, a french model named Nadia. I'm sure that i am the least person he would be worried about at the moment. Instead of consoling me like he would have done two years ago, he stormed out of the house yelling "This bullshit drama!" Everyone was brought together at Cheyenne and Eric's home for the reason that Eric had news to share. Cheyenne and Eric were engaged. At first, i was upset that my best friend, Cheyenne, failed to tell me first. I brought up the point that she was the first to know that i was engaged to Tom. Or when i was divorcing Tom and getting back together. In either case, i shared everything with Cheyenne- i kept no part of my life a secret from her. No matter how scandalise the situation i was involved in. The points i was bringing up, only made Tom pissy. When i brought up divorce, Tom had had enough. "Thank you for bringing up the divorce.." He said, walking out of the house. I followed him to the car, where he only locked himself inside and ignored me. I didn't understand what Tom's problem was. What i said was the truth. I'm not gonna hide what happened! If Tom is ashamed by it, then he has a problem. What happened, happened. I'm no one to hide the past. If that was even what he was angry about. It didn't take long before i started to grow frustrated with the fact that Tom was ignoring me. All i wanted to do was talk to him to figure out what was wrong! To show that i meant business, i chucked a small rock at the hood of the Jaguar. That's when Tom got out of the car and started yelling. "What the fuck did you do to my car?!" He yelled, checking out the dent in the hood. "Tom, it's only a small rock. it's a dent! you can just buff it out. not a big deal!" i refused to yell. "That dent is huge!" Tom was blowing it out of proportion. "That shows you to be a bitch.." is what i said that earned me the slap across the face. After that, i instantly ran back into the house to be comforted by my friends. I felt guilty for taking the attention away from Cheyenne and Eric. They were engaged- something that no one believed would happen after their wedding disaster. I should have shown more support towards them. Instead, i was too busy crying and throwing a fit because Tom had slapped me.

It's as Clear as the Sunrise in Sedona

{85}

"Ewww..." i heard Fred say between sips of his beer. "Eww what?" i asked. Fred pointed into the crowd surrounding the stage "Look at that pug thing." He told me. Emily instantly caught my eye. Emily is Tom's ex girlfriend. What i don't understand is- how could Tom fall for a girl like her? She has a flat- single toned hairstyle that makes her face look scrunched and wide. Her lipstick was a reddish violet color that matched the scarf she wore over a solid white blouse. She wore a knee length leather skirt with black tights and boots. Emily was as tall and slim as Tom- something that is unattractive for any woman. "OMIGOD, Freddie!" i said, hiding behind him. "she's ugly, huh?" "Yeah, Tom has a problem with picking out girls." i said, watching Emily closely to make sure she didn't wonder near me. what i want to know is- what is Emily doing here? "What?" Fred asked. Right, Fred never had the chance to meet Emily- lucky bastard. Tom and Emily had broken up before Fred joined the band. "That's Emily, Toms ex girlfriend. why else do you think i'm hiding behind your Afro?" "Her face would make me wanna hide too..." oh, Freddie. "Damn- Tom did MUCH better with you!" always making me feel like a champ. "Half her face is smaller than the other." he continued. "Fred, stop starring at her!" i finally said. "sorry- but god, how does Tom go from that to YOU?" he asked. "i dunno.. he got lucky i guess." Fred turned around and spanked my ass while saying "i'll say!" i laughed and yelled "Freddie!" "okie dokie" Fred said, walking towards the stage. "no no no, she'll see me!" i yelled after him. "then follow me!" "where are you going?" i asked, following behind him. "i dunno. away from that monster." he said, referring to Emily. "I'm not talking to Tom..." i told Fred, figuring that i should strike a conversation "oh really?" "he's an idiot." i said. "what did he do?" Fred held onto my hand, squeezing it every few seconds. "he lied to me..." "about what?" Fred asked, pulling me closer to himself. "Emily.." "what did he say?" "he has always told me that Emily broke up with him and all this stuff. but, she cheated on him. so then he cheated on her. so, she dumped him and all this dumb shit." i explained to Fred. "sounds pretty dumb.." "well, he LIED... and it wasn't even a big deal- if he would have told me the first time i asked and not lie to me the first time, then tell me after the 4475932784th time." Fred started leaning his lips towards mine. "i totally get it.." he said. "you do?" was all i could say. i began moving closer to Fred, wanting the kiss that he was about to deliver. "there you are! Fred, your on in like, two seconds!" i swear-Cheyenne has the worst timing for showing up. "shit- i gotta go!" he said, running towards the stage, leaving me kiss less. "...what were you two doing?" Cheyenne asked me. "nothing.." i then walked away. god, Fred makes my heart flutter. i could feel my heart race! i was SO CLOSE to kissing him...

Driving in Cars with Boys

{85}

Fred and i had left the bar nearly an hour ago. We sat in his car in the parking lot of the apartment that tom and i lived in. Before saying goodbye and getting out of his car, i thought that i could get Fred to kiss. Cheyenne disturbed our moment at the bar. this time- Fred and i were alone. "Freddie.." i said, leaning in his direction. "Yeah?" he asked. "You were gonna kiss me earlier, until Cheyenne interrupted," Fred didn't look at me as i whispered in his ear "Kiss me." He replied quickly "no- your just saying that because your mad at Tom." oh, so now that I'm trying to kiss HIM, it's wrong? Why wasn't there a problem when he was trying to kiss ME? "you didn't want to kiss me?" i asked, feeling foolish. "Well yeah, but- don't tempt me." Temptation is good.. "why not? i want to kiss you!" "La la la la, I'm not listening." Fred said, covering his ears with his hands. "Freddie, grow up!" i said, pulling his hands away from his ears. "I'll cya." Fred couldn't get rid of me that easy. "You're a jerk!" how dare he do this! it pissed me off to know that Fred will only kiss me when HE wants. "Bye!" he said, giving me a quick kiss on the lips. i pulled him back by his neck. i wanted a REAL kiss! a heart melting, romantic, sensational lip lock from Fred.

After i got the kiss i wanted, i couldn't let go- and neither could Fred. What started as a romantic kiss, turned into a sleazy makeout in his car.

Show Me How You Do That Trick

{85}

(Cheyenne, sometimes...)

"Fuck me! Tommy! Ohhhhh Fuck me hard!" I begged, jumping on Tom upon walking into our apartment. if it wasn't for Tom blowing down my skirt and kissing my thigh in Fred's car, I'm sure Tom and i wouldn't be having sex tonight. But, seeing Tom in a jail cell did help turn me on. Who knew being drunk in public was a crime? "No problem!" Tom said, with a smile on his face. tom totally enjoyed seeing me act like this. "Ohhhh Tom!"

"Mmmm i love you Tommy." i layed my head on his chest and wrapped my arm around his stomach. "i love you too." Tom was gasping for air. "What a man!" i said, running my fingers down his chest. "You're so cute." "You are!" i was still feeling hot from the sex. "You're so damn sexy.." "Not as much as you!" i took his hand and pulled it under the comforter. "Oh really.." "Yeah!" i said, putting his hand where i wanted it. "Babe!" "Go on.." i told him. "What?" i really feel as if i have to explain everything to Tom. "Finger me, duh!" i said, kissing his lips. "Ohhh.." "Oooooo deeper!" i moaned.

Tom shared the idea of wanting harder, rougher sex. "Tommy, we need to try something different!" as if chocolate blow jobs on almost a daily basis wasn't enough for us. "Like what?" Tom asked. "like doggy style or something." "seriously??" "You don't want to?" "No, i do!" he said, with a smile on his face.

Now, THAT was the best sex we have had together. "Write a song about THAT, Tommy." i told him. "I will..." "No you wont!" i said, laughing. i don't believe Tom would write a song about our sex. Tom would rather write about sex with hitch hikers. "Why not?!" "Are you really gonna do it?" "Hell yeah!" i still don't believe it. "Awww Tommy!" i said, before giving him another kiss. "Oh, babe!" "damn... look! the sun is rising.. we did it ALL night!" i said, pointing to the beams of light entering the room through the window. "Wanna do it again?" Tom asked. "Don't you have to work today, baby?" i asked him. "I'm sick today..." "well, i was thinking you could go to work and pick up a camera.." there is only one perk of working at a photo developing company, and that is an endless supply of camera's and video recorders. "You wanna make a sex tape?" Tom had this boyish grim on his face. "It is just an idea." i said. "Yeah!" He hopped out of bed and grabbed his pants from the floor, pulling them on. "I'll be right back baby... don't get dressed." he told me.

Beetle Juice

{85}

Freddie has invited me to his apartment this evening to watch his favorite movie, Beetle Juice. Tom was caught up in his song writing and i had nothing to keep myself occupied- so i thought why not?

Freddie is such a sweetheart. By the time i arrived at his apartment, the Chinese food that he had ordered for the night had already arrived. it's crazy how Freddie knew just what i like; beef and broccoli with chicken lo mien.

Before the movie began, Fred brought a blanket from his bedroom for us to share. i thought it was cute how he snuggled up to me with a boyish grin on his face.

As the movie was playing, Fred and i got closer to each other. Instead of watching the movie, we thought of clever ways to get as close as possible with out being too risky. Once again, the temptation of kissing arose. I think we both understood that kissing each other would be taking this a step too far. We both wanted it, I'm sure of that. But, neither of us had the guts to do so.

Space Cowboy

{Jeff Labar, 85}

Fred, Eric and i were sitting in the backroom after a day of developing what seemed to be an endless amount of photos. i had Amber to ask for a ride home, only to be ignored. Amber was more concerned with selecting our wedding cake rather than making sure the groom arrives home. Tom wasn't at work today; he mentioned something about Kayla being sick and picking up a camera-whatever that is supposed to mean.

"Well, it looks like Cheyenne is in another pissy mood today." Eric said, walking into the break room from making a call to his girlfriend. "What for?" Fred asked. i don't understand how Eric can make Cheyenne so pissy. i have spent countless hours with Cheyenne, never making her pissy in any sort of way. "i have no clue. all i did was call to tell her that i would be home soon and she started yelling at me about some dumb book she is reading." oh my. Cheyenne and her Steven King books... if we are in any type of situation relatively close to that in a book she has read, she is convinced that we are gonna die. i mean- it's cute the first four times, but upon the fifth i want to strangle her. "Yeah, it was something about taking a shortcut through the woods.." oh, classic. "Eric, you can quit talking about Cheyenne." Fred said. "Why? did you wake up handcuffed to your bed post again?" now, what i don't understand about Fred is- how can he make the mistake of sleeping with the same money taking prostitute more than once? "No! i just don't want to hear you complain, that's all." "Who is complaining?" I'm starting to think that Fred is the one in a pissy mood. "Everyone needs to stop talking about their problems," before finishing, Fred punched Eric's forearm. "if anyone starts talking about their problems, i'm going to throw something. That time, i threw a fist." Fred is my ride home...

Scooby Doo, Where Are You?

{85}

I don't quite know how Tom feels about me. Tom doesn't seem to be very expressive- which is something i find hard to believe, considering he is a musician. Tom and i have been on a single date- which ended with sex.

Tom and i talk about typical topics, such as our jobs, interests, and dreams. i feel comfortable around Tom. But, i don't know if he's comfortable with me quite yet. i feel like I'm more in interested in Tom than he is in me. i don't know if our relationship is a waste of time, or if he considers what we have as a relationship at all. Tom seems like a mystery...

On Top of Old Smokey

{85}

It was around midnight when Tom come home. Tom stumbled through the front door with a beer can in his hand. "Tom?" it was obvious that Tom was drunk. tom slurred his words as he spoke "whut?" As if he didn't know. "Are you DRUNK?" i asked him. "No.." he denied it. "Tomm! what do you think you're doing?!" i yelled at him. "Drink?" he replied. i started to get annoyed. If there is ONE thing that really pisses me off, it would have to be drinking. A few beers occasionally is fine, no harm done. But, when it gets to be a problem is when i freak out. that shit isn't gonna fly. i spent eighteen years with an alcoholic mother, and I'm not putting up with this crap. "How you doohan?" Tom asked me in that Wendy Williams tone of voice. "not to good, tom." "yeah?" tom said, his eyes drooping and his voice getting deeper. "you have had enough for tonight. go to bed." i said, taking the beer can out of his hand. "then come to bed with me.." Tom pushed my body against the wall. His lips pressing against mine. i struggled to push him away. "Tooomm!" i didn't want tom anywhere near me right now. "Shut up!" he slithered his tongue into my mouth. "Tom! i don't- i-." Tom ignored me. i was finally able to push him away. "Tom, that's enough! i don't wanna do this when your drunk.." "c'mon baby.." I moved away from the wall and took a seat on the couch. "No, Tom. i mean it. i don't want you touching me right now." Tom began to yell "Why the fuck not?!?" "Tom, please don't yell.." "i can fucking yell if you don't give me what i fucking want!!!" "Tom! just- no!" i yelled back. Tom took a seat next to me. "Come on Babbeee!" he said, followed by kisses. "God- i can fucking taste all the liquor!" ewww. "so?" more kisses followed. "Stop, that's gross!" "you like it..." He said. "Don't make me leave.. i don't wanna be here if your gonna act like this.." i was bluffing. i had no where to go. "Where are you gonna go? this is our home, baby. you got no where to go.." more kisses. damn. "i do! i have- friends!" "like who?" he asked, kissing my chest. "i don't have to explain myself to you!" i yelled. "don't talk." he told me, giving me another kiss. oh- fuck it! i put up a good fight, right? i can't resist Tom, even if he is drunk.

Pay Your Respects

{85}

"Oh, this is scary!" tom said, nuzzling his neck against mine. quick note to self: don't allow Jeff to pick out the movie. I twirled my fingers around the curls in toms hair. Tom started kissing my collar bone. How could i resist that? "Awww baby!" i said, giving tom a kiss. Tom lifted his lips up to my ear, then whispered "Mmmm i love you." I could feel his breath on my ear as he spoke. i liked the tingling sensation of his breathe running down my neck as he gently sucked on my skin. "Keep it down! we're trying to watch a movie!" Cheyenne yelled from across the room. "Shhh! let's watch!" Jeff said, shoveling a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "Tom, i don't want to watch," i said. "do you wanna go upstairs?" The fact that we were at Jeff's house was not gonna stop me from making love to Tom. "Hmm?" he said as he kissed me. "Let's continue upstairs.." I told him. "Do you think Jeff will mind?" "Ask him!" i suggested, being doubtful that Tom would actually ask. "Jeff, can we use your room?" Tom said. "Why would you wanna use my room?" Could Jeff be anymore naive? "We would like to get.it.on" Tom said, too bluntly in my opinion. i mean- why not tell it to the world? 'listen everyone, me and tom want to have sex. this instant! and if if anyone stands in our way, you're going down!' "Not in my bed!" Jeff yelled. "well, where else should we do it?" If he says 'outside, in the hammock' i think i may slap Jeff. "there is a guest room, you know!" "thanks Jeff!" before we ran upstairs, Jeff told us "if i hear you, i have the authority to kick you out of my house." "Turn up the T.V! come on, Honey." tom said, taking my hand. "Yeah go flirt with Cheyenne or something, Jeff." i said before pulling Tom into the bedroom upstairs.
Before i knew it, i heard knocking on the door. "Hey, Tom! get out of there! you need to leave!" Jeff shouted. Tom didn't reply. The knocking grew louder. "Tooooomm!" "What the fuck, Jeff?!" Tom finally yelled back. "You need to leave, now!" "I'm in the middle of something!" Tom yelled back to Jeff. i started to get annoyed. "Toommm!" "Get out, man! Amber is gonna kill me!" Jeff yelled. Amber? Oh- shit! she must be home.. "Babe.. we gotta stop.." Tom said to me. "Tommy, don't! Keep going!" "Ten minuets, Jeff!!" Tom yelled. "No, you don't understand! you REALLY have to leave!" Jeff warned us. "your ruining it, Jeff!" Tom was just as aggravated as i was. "Toommyy!!" "Kay!!" Between the arguing from Tom and Jeff, and my moaning- i would say the noise level was at a good 7.5. "Tom, get the fuck outta here!" The knocking grew more violent. Amber was now involved. "Shut the fuck up, bitch!" Tom yelled? "excuse me?!" Amber gasped, as if she was surprised. Tom began to ignore the yelling coming from outside the room. "God dammit, Tom!" amber yelled, kicking the door.

Extended Relief

{Eric Brittingham}

What is Romance?

Tom some, romance comes easy. some people seem to be born with the ability to create romance out of nothing. when you think of romance- what is the first to come to mind? a room illuminated by vanilla scented candles? a bed covered in rose peddles? a white sanded beach at sunset? those enviroments seem to be the most typical ideas of romance. what romance seems to be lacking now-a-days is creativity. sure, it may seem like there is nothing left. what is more romantic than sipping wine in front of a fireplace? romance is more simple than what one may imagine. the first approache you take in creating a romantic night with your lover is to make her feel important. Cheyenne is with out a doubt the most important person in my life. i cant imagine how life would be with out her. her support has givin me the confidence to make a living for the both of us. Cheyenne and i dont always see eye-to-eye on various matters, and that results in arguments. i know that i dont always treat cheyenne the way that she deserves to be treated, and i feel that it goes both ways. i'm not blaming anything on cheyenne- i know that i am more at fault, for devoting more time for work than fixing my relationship. taking time off work to spend the afternoon with cheyenne every now-and-again would have helped us comunicate. communication is the second step in romance. you would be suprised how much talking to a person who understands you can open up your heart. it releases feelings of vulnurability. cheyenne and i never communicated well. Cheyenne has a big tempur and over reacts about nearly everything that i share with her. i'm the jealouse type- always paranoid that cheyenne is going to leave me for a "better man".

Intamacy is the last step to romance. by intamacy, i dont nessasarily mean sex. a single kiss can be more romantic than recieving oral. i dont think cheyenne and i nessisarly have a problem in that department- other than the times i wanted sex and she didnt, but thats not uncommon for any relationship. cheyenne and i have been through more complications than any couple that i've ever known. having a demanding job that requires detication and endless hours adds stress to our already rocky relationship. with my job, there is always temptation to cheat. i feel like cheyenne has givin into temptations more times than i have- and that explaines why im so paranoid about her leaving me. at the end of everyday, i love cheyenne. nothing seems more right than crawling into our bed and holding her in my arms. to me, that is romance. sure, it wouldnt hurt to tell cheyenne the way i feel about her- the way i have felt since day one. there has never been a time that i have fallen out of love with Cheyenne.

Whats New Pussycat?

{85}

Fred and i have been frequently attending bars for the past week. sometimes they seem to feel like we are on a date; sharing each others interests, asking about each others childhood, flirting and laughing, dancing close and holding hands and there has been quite a few moments that i thought he may kiss me. i'm wrong to admit that i wanted him to kiss me..

Tom and i are in love, and i can honestly say that i want to spend eternity with him. i have never felt the way that Tom makes me feel. sure, Fred is a good looking kid with a great personality. he is intelligent but ignorant all at the same time. but i feel like Fred and i would never work out- if givin a chance. Fred is young- always looking for a one night stand rather than a relationship.

I suppose our "dates" need to end before we become too comfortable with each other, or one of us gets the wrong idea.

When in Rome

The Peace Festival in Moscow may be the best thing that will happen to Cinderella. They guys were excited, and i was excited for them.
Moscow could not have come at a better time. Tom and i just arrived home from our first anniversary in Rome. Our love seemed stronger than ever. We spent a week in the greatest suite that the hotel had to offer, sipping exotic wine and sitting by the fireplace. We tossed coins in the fountains, making wishes for a long and healthy marriage. I'm sure that i managed to gain a few pounds, consuming the massive amount of carbs in the bread and pasta that we indulged in every night.
I knew that coming to Russia would be a business venture for Tom, not just another vacation to ourselves. There were tons of other bands involved in this project. i didn't realize until i saw Vince Neil sitting at the back of the plane, that this trip may not turn out as well as i had thought. where ever there is Vince, there is Nikki, and where ever there is Nikki, there is trouble for Cheyenne and Eric. Which, i could care less about. Seeing as Cheyenne obviously has no problem with destroying the life of an innocent friend like me.
I told myself that i would be safe. i haven't spoken to Fred since the night we broke up in Hawaii. Vince would be an idiot if he tried talking to me with Tom around.
As if Fred and Vince having crushes on me wasn't hard enough, Jon Bon Jovi turns around and begins to flirt. Tom and i both knew what was going on. i'm sure Tom knew, by that moment, this trip wouldn't be how he imagined either.

Running Against the Wind

{85}

Signs that your relationship is a complete and total failure.

1) substance abuse- over consumption of addictive substances such as drugs or alcohol.

2) extreme feelings of jealousy

3) violent behavior- either verbal or physical

4) stress caused by factors such as work, money issues, family, etc.

5) persons who's goal is to sabotage or make the relationship more difficult for the couple out of revenge or jealousy.

This article seems to be somewhat accurate, based on the relationship that i have with Tom.

My relationship with tom has experienced every one of those factors. From Tom coming home stupid drunk at midnight, my jealousy towards Emily for winning the affection of Mrs. Keifer, Tom's history of resulting in physical actions after fights with previous girlfriends, working for a record deal that supplies tom with endless amounts of stress because four gigs a week and his current day job is hardly enough money to keep us fed with a roof over our heads- to the threats and exchange of multiple blows to the head as Emily and i fought over Tom on Halloween.

Is it just me, or does our relationship sound like a failure?

tom and i love each other, and i have forgave him for every mistake that he as made because i feel that fighting with him is a waste of time. sure, Tom can do some dumb things- but, what man hasn't?

"What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." This can either be bullshit that Tom said to make me realize that what we have been through will somehow result in a better relationship, due to understanding of each others reasons of action; or it can be a line that Tom ripped off a John hughes movie.

Sunjagger Dayz

"Flip em up, flip em back, flip em on the pancake stack!" i sang to myself as i tossed the homemade buttermilk and choclate chip pancakes onto a plate. Mickey Mouse's ears could not be more semetrical than i had them baked onto this pancake. "now, all i need to do is make Mickey's face." talking to myself during baking seems to help my consintration. i added two tiny drops of choclate syrup for they eyes and placed a choclate chip in the center of each. i created a smile with the choclate syrup as well. PERFECT! this pancake is a work of art- a real masterpeice! "what are you doing up this early?" tom asked me, walking into the kitchen. "i made you brekfast!" i layed the plate infront of tom at the table. tom looked at the pancake, "what is this?" with a smile on my face, i replied "it's Mickey Mouse! what do you think?" man- i was so proud of this pancake. "it's cute."
The way i thought of becoming a better wife, is to start with simple tasks. a homemade brekfast on a sunday morning seemed to make the rest of tom's day.

Baby Come, I Need You Here

{Eric Brittingham, 85}

I admit that the entire situation was awkward, and a little embarrassing. Is masturbation really a reason to end a relationship? i mean- is it my fault that Cheyenne is against sex? no it isn't! so, why did she break up with me? Cheyenne claims, "you are much older than me. You're much more experienced. i felt like i was doing something wrong. i didn't know what to do! i didn't want to look dumb.." okay, so i want to understand what she is telling me. then again, i want to yell "then we should practice!" i am only five years older than cheyenne; myself at 25. i'm not the type of guy who focuses his relationship on sex. i'm the commitment making type of guy. but, i do like sex more than twice a week, at least. With Cheyenne, i wasn't getting that.

Wanted Dead or Alive

{Cheyenne Kavan, 85}

Upon waking up from a nights sleep, i stretched my arms over my head, feeling my spine tingle. i looked over to eric's side of the bed to see a man with dark hair sleeping beside me. i know that it is morning, and i have not put in my contacts quite yet, but eric has blonde hair! when i relized that a stranger was in our bed, i screamed. the man was so stunned and alarmed that he rolled over the edge of the bed. "Holy shit!" he yelled, as his body hit the floor. i peaked over the edge of the bed to see Jeff laying on the floor in nothing but his underwear. "Jeff," i covered my body with the comforter, not wanting him to spot my Smurf pajamas. "what the HELL are you doing here?" i yelled. i noticed his clothes spread across the bedroom floor. i continued "what if Eric saw you in my bed? where is Eric? He was here last night!" i started to panic. Maybe i entered an alternate universe. instead of being in a relationship with Eric, i was with Jeff. "Shh.." Jeff said, putting his finger over my lips. i swatted his hand away from my face and got out of bed. bringing the comforter with me, i gathered his clothes from the floor. "Get dressed," i said, throwing his clothes at him. "i dont want Eric coming in here and seeing us like this." Jeff caught everything but his shirt. "But Cheyenne." i cut him off before he could finish speaking "Now!" He picked up the shirt he had dropped and started to get dressed.

I locked myself in our walk in closet, struggling to quickly get dressed. i felt lik Eric would show up at any second and question why Jeff was at my apartmen- in my bed... if i knew, i would explain everything to Eric.

I started forming excuses in my mind. i needed a solid excuse to give to Eric, or else i would be done for! i whispered to myself- because sometimes things may sound better in your mind than aloud- "Jeff came over looking for you. you know, because you hang out at my apartment often.." it's sad to say that excuse was all my mind could achieve.

Fully clothed, i walked out of the closet and sat the my vanity. i pulled a brush through my hair, watching myself in the mirror. i noticed a green and white baseball cap laying beside a bottle of perfume. i thought that it must belong to Jeff. Eric doesn't wear a hat unless he's too lazy to fix his hair- even then i'm sure he wouldn't write Jeff on the lid. Jeff came from behind me, wrapping his arms around my stomache and watching me brush my hair from my reflection in the mirror. if Jeff and i didn't sleep together, this would be sorta creepy. He layed his head on my shoulder and checked himself in the mirror. i turned around to face him, our lips close and our bodies closer. his hands were now rested on my back. i quickly grabbed the baseball cap from the vanity and placed it upon his head. "i think you better leave." Jeff chuckled as he said "okay Cheyenne.."

As Jeff walked out of the room, Eric entered. Eric glanced at me with a confused expression painted on his face. "What is Jeff doing here?" He questioned me. "Looking for you!" i blurted. "If he was looking for me, then why did he just leave?" "i uh.." my mind went blank. Eric was waiting for a reply- one that i didn't have the time to create. So instead of awnsering his question, i asked "Where did you go?" Eric pointed out of the bedroom door as he said "i bought donuts.."

Flea

( I finally have my hands on a computer, but i do not have my drafts with me at the moment. i figured i would write off the top of my head.)

I spent my days alone at the Holiday Inn hotel playing back the moment i got home from Florida. Was cheating on Tom with Steven Tyler really worth it? In just four months Tom and I would be celebrating our first anniversary being married. i really fucked that up, didn't i? we couldn't even last a YEAR! i'm surprised we even lasted this long, after what happened with Fred a few months back.
I realized wail taking Helo out of the cardboard soda box, that i had stuffed her in when leaving the house, that i didn't think to bring Puck with me to the hotel. Was it okay for me to go back to the house to check-up on Puck? I'm sure that i am the last person that Tom wants to see right now. But, Puck is my dog too! Tom bought Puck for ME because he fucked up on our first valentines day we spent together. I have every right to see Puck! If Tom really wants to keep Puck, there is no way i'm letting him take my dog!
As i walked up the stone pathway to the house, Tom was locking the door and putting the keys back into his pocket. Fuck- Tom must be leaving to the studio. I ran up to the door to catch him before he could leave. "Tom!" i said, getting to the porch. He starred at me and said "what are you doing here?" "I wanna see Puck.." i told him, nervous as to what he would say. "no." not as bad as i thought it would be. "come on, tom. he's my dog!" "Puck is MINE." he argued. "no he isnt! you bought him for ME!" "leave, now." he told me, pointing away from the house. "not until i see puck..." Thunder started clapping as rain started pouring from the sky. "kayla, you need to leave." He told me again. "tom...its raining.." Rain bounced off the roof and poured out of the gutters. "you dont expect me to invite you in, do you?" "i dont expect you to do anything.." i told him, crossing my arms infrount of my chest, trying to keep warm. "come in..." He unlocked the door and let me inside. really? did tom just let me inside the house? Puck came running towards me as i took a seat on the couch. "Hey Puck, hows it going boy? did you miss me? aww i missed you too Puck! i wuv youu!" i said, scratching his favorite place behind his ears. "soo.." i said to Tom, feeling awkward. "Talk to Puck not me." ouch. Why is Tom being so mean? "tom... i'm really sorry.."

i wanted him to know that i felt sincerely sorry for what i had done. i had explained to him how i made the biggest mistake of my life and i felt horrid for hurting him like i did. i didn't expect him to forgive me, let alone take me back. but, he did. "well, i do miss you..." "awww.. you really missed me? i miss you too tommy.." and i thought we were really over... "i'll call you, okay?" he said, putting on his jacket and opening the door. "right.." i stepped onto the porch, watching the rain flood the lawn. "kayla?" Tom said. "yeah?" Tom suddenly pulled me close, wrapping his arms around my body and pressing his lips against mine. Was this really happening? I'm back with Tom, just like that?
After making-out with Tom on the pouch in the rain, i went back to the hotel to pack my things back into the car. Tom wants me to move back into the house. Our house.

I Call Dibs

{85}

"I tried to watch the movie, but i got bored and started thinking about bacon and maple syrup." Eric explained to Cheyenne after our date. "oooo i love bacon and maple syrup!" i said. man, the last time i ate bacon and maple syrup was at my grandparents house back in 1976. "bacon and syrup is amazing..." tom agreed. "guys!" Cheyenne whined. i ignored her "we have to get some bacon, babe!" i said to Tom. "sorry for bringing it up.." Eric apologized. "no one wants to be mushy.." Cheyenne mumbled. mushy? this is the last time i agree to see a romantic comedy with Cheyenne. "bacon gets mushy if it sits in syrup long enough." Tom was still fantasizing about bacon. "i like the nice floppy, fatty bacon, you know?" i said back to tom. "i'll get mushy with you baby!" eric said, kissing up to Cheyenne. "that is the BEST bacon!" tom agreed with me. "you're all obsessed with bacon!" Cheyenne yelled, finally fed-up. "tommy... bacon and syrup gives me an idea.." i said. "oh yeah?" tom said, licking his lips.maple syrup, chocolate syrup- same thing. except-choclate syrup wasn't sticky or as thick as maple syrup. "yeah! do we have any chocolate syrup at home?" i asked tom. i didnt know if tom thinks about sex as much as i do... but, i think about sex all the damn time. "i dont-" tom started to say. Cheyenne interrupted before he could finish "you are so weird!" there was no way that cheyenne could know what i was thinking about. i mean- she freaked out when eric fingered her! "what are you talking about, cheyenne? maybe i wanted an ice cream sundae, hmm?" i said to her. "whats going on?" eric asked. "i think they are talking about chocolate blow jobs." okay, maybe cheyenne did know what i was talking about. "what?" eric had the most confused look on his face. "like- you put chocolate on the dick and suck it off." Cheyenne felt it was necessary to explain. "i know what it is, i meant-why are you talking about chocolate blow jobs?!" eric made me laugh. so clueless.. "doesn't seem like a bad idea." cheyenne said. i swear-if cheyenne steals my idea, i think i may stick a fork up her ass! "defiantly not!" oh, of course tom wouldn't think it was a bad idea. good.. "are we doing it?" tom asked, with a smile. "well, i asked if we had any chocolate syrup at home and i never got an awnser." "even if we don't..." oh my, tommy. "we will see, baby." i told him. "dont even think about it, eric!" Cheyenne said to eric, who had stopped listening to the conversation after his previous comment."what am i not thinking about?" he asked. "syrup oral." you know, i bet eric and cheyenne have sex only two or three times a month. poor eric. "why not?" cheyenne didn't awnser eric's question. i've listened to their bickering all night, and i dont want to hear anymore. "tommy, we need to go home-now." i said, pulling on the sleeve of Tom's jacket. "anxious, aren't we?" he said, still thinking about the blow job that i promised him for later. tom, i didn't mean "hey, let's leave so i can give you that blow job i promised because-you know, im SO excited to be giving YOU such sexual pleasure instead of receiving some in return." not like i was THAT horny. well, no more than usual. "i didnt mean it like THAT, tom." he smiled and said "of course not, darling." "aroused?" i asked, joking. "mmhmm:" tom said, kissing me. "for real? i was kidding.." oh, tommy. "....warn me next time.." "are you for real?" "maybe..." i couldn't hold in my laugh. "baaaabbee!" Tom whined. "its cold.." Cheyenne nagged to eric- as if he could do something to make it warmer. "make her shut up!" tom yelled to eric. "what did she do wrong?" eric defended cheyenne. "trying to be mushy... the movie was bad enough!" "you didnt watch the movie." i added. tom and i made out while cheyenne watched the movie and eric dozed off, thinking about syrup and bacon.
"the four of us should go camping!" okay- what made cheyenne think that i would want to spend my time in the middle of nowhere with her and eric? "the day tom camps is the day pigs fly." eric said. "whats wrong with it?" cheyenne asked tom. "everything!" tom replied, throwing up his hands for emphasis. "you wouldnt go camping for me, baby?" i asked, as if i actually wanted to go camping with Cheyenne and Eric. "baby, camping involves dirt." "so?" Tom amuses me to no end.. "whats the big deal? its only dirt. tommy, you take a shower and its all gone." "taaaa-daahhh!" eric said. "tommy, if you dont go camping then i wont do the syrup thing." i teased him. i know that there is no way i was going camping, but i enjoying hearing tom's excuses. "fine..." "really?" okay- i defiantly wasn't thinking that he would give in that easily. "this better be a good blow job..." he told me. i have never met anyone who can talk about sex as openly as tom... the fact that his friend was listening to him speak didn't seem to effect him. "better make this a good blowjob, we are all couting on you." cheyenne added. "you guys have nothing to worry about." i said. "good!" tom said with a smile.
Eric and Cheyenne ditched us to drive to a hill to make out- what are they, 17? "that was really strange..." i said to tom on the drive home. "what was?" he asked. "that! cheyenne and eric were pissy during dinner. then ignored each other through half the movie. i say a few words to her in the bathroom and then she becomes happy and wants to be friends!" i know that i was upset when tom came home drunk on Friday night. i didnt blame cheyenne for being mad at eric. i thought- the least i can do is apologize on tom's behalf for encouraging eric to drink. "that was sweet of you, peaches." tom said to me. "for what? apologizing for you?" "for being a good friend to her." "im not her Friend! not until she apologizes!" cheyenne hated me first.. and i wasnt gonna sit around and allow her to be rude. "apologize for what, pumpkin?" i love when tom calls me by little dorky pet names.. "being a bitch.." "kay, you were a bitch to her also.."
when we got to the apartment, tom started searching for a bottle of chocolate syrup in the pantry. "any luck?" i asked. "...we have honey.." "ewwww. i dont like honey. are you sure we dont have syrup?" i'm quite picky... "found some!" tom said with a smile. "boy, arnt you lucky." "i would make you use honey.." tom said, unzipping his jeans. "thats so mean!" "it would be mean to me if you didnt go threw with this." he said. "would it? i mean- what if this was shell? it would be funny if i put it- oh, i would laugh SO hard!" i said, trying not to laugh. "... i wouldn't be laughing.." i let out my laugh "your right, im sorry baby. come here." "so... how are we doing this?" he asked while walking towards me. "what do you mean?" tom laughed "nevermind, just begin.." "wait, how do you THINK i'm going to do this?" i asked, curious as to what tom thought i was doing. "i'm not entirley sure..." "this is a first for you, tommy?" i asked. "... i have never had a woman put choclate syrup on my dick before, no." "hmmmm. well, maybe we shouldnt do this." i teased. tom quickly caught on. "dont tease me like that!" "awh, why not? i quite enjoy it." i said, shaking the syrup bottle.
i was almost asleep when i heard tom say "baaaabbe..." i didnt open my eyes when i replied "yes?" "i love you..." he told me. "i love you too." tom cuddled up to me and said "you're skilled..." i laughed "skilled?" "yesss!!!" "so, you liked it?" i asked, already knowing the awnser. "no. i hated it. DUHHH, i liked it, kayla!" "thats good" i said, starting to drift towards sleep. "it's fantastic..."

Carrots and Apples

In the end, everyone got what they deserved, right? I was back with Tom after being told that Fred sabotaged our marriage. I didn't tell Fred that I knew what he had done, out of respect for Jeff- who told Tom Fred's plan. Instead, I relied on the fact that things between Fred and I were not working out as i had hoped. There has been times in my life that I have wanted to be with Fred,- some more drastic than others- and the one chance that I had with Fred was in the middle of a divorce. I guess that goes to show that Fred an I are never meant to be. And, I can live with that. Because I am in love with Tom.
I have a year until I have to face Fred. Tom will be working on the new record with the band, and I'll be supporting him in whatever way i can. Weather that may be "Steak Night" or hanging around Jeff's pool like old times. I can't ignore Fred anymore than he can't ignore me.
I guess I shall see how things play out.

Say Cheese!

{85}

I was sitting on the counter in the photo developing room of the Photohut looking through customers personal pictures. "eww.. is this woman bald?" I asked Tom. He looked at the picture "i think that's a man.." He said. "oh... isn't someone else supposed to be here with you? like, doesn't that curly haired kid work here too?" I asked Tom. "Fred? Yeah! He does." "Then why isn't he here?" "he's usually late..." I put the picture back into the pile and jumped off the counter. "twenty minuets late?" I asked Tom. "sometimes.. like, Eric is late 90% of the time." "so why do you have to be here on time? why can't you be late? that's not fair! we could still be in bed, Tommy!" I nagged. It didn't seem fair to me that Tom always got the short end of the stick. "because.. I'm a good guy-" Before Tom could finish speaking, Fred walked in the room. "Heyyy!!! sorry, I overslept, then i got some break- Hiya Kayla!" Funny how Fred can come in late, apologize because he overslept, and think he can say hi to me. "hey, you got what?" i asked. seeing as he didn't finish talking before he realized i was in the room. "breakfast." he said, holding up a paper McDonald's bag. "oh." i said. "Man, I'm starving! and i have to be here! I hate this place. woahh aw man, I ate everything!" Fred said, looking around in the McDonald's bag. Tom started coughing "Hey, Freddie Boy- there's things for you to do over there.." Tom said, pointing to the opposite side of the room. "fine.." Fred said, walking away from us. "Finally!" Tom said, pulling me close and kissing me. "We can't do this with Fred around," I said "He's gonna walk in, I know it." Tom ignored me and started kissing my neck. "Tom!" "what? no he wont."
Just when things started getting "hot and steamy", Eric walked in. I quickly pushed Tom away from me. "Eric is here!" I told him. "wha- hi Eric." He said. I whispered to Tom, "I told you! It was bound to happen.." "It's fine... we have the bathroom..." Tom said to me. Eric didn't say a word, thank god. "bathroom, NOW! Eric, take my shift." Tom said, pulling me towards the bathrooms. "Tommy!" "Don't worry about it, Kay. Eric will do it for me." He pushed me into a stall and locked the door. "but what if-" before i could finish he pushed me against the wall and pressed his lips against mine.

Photohut

{85}

Tom was laying beside me in our bed, sleeping like a baby. "Tooommmyy. Honey, are you awake?" i said, poking his chest. "Nooooo." He said, rolling over. "Yes you are! come on, baby!" It's never fun being awake alone.. "come on for what?" he said. "get up!" "whyyyyy?" He whined. "because! i don't wanna be up alone.." with that, he turned back towards me. "fine fine. I'm up." "thank you baby!" i said, giving him a good morning hug. "what should we do today, Hun?" He asked me. "Anything you want." I said. "I have to work.." "what? Tommy!" Another relaxing day with Tommy would be great. "I have to baby." "What am I gonna do all day with out you?" I will admit, it's sad that I don't have a life. The only thing that matters to me is Tom. "Come with me" He said. "Come with you? I can't do that. What am i supposed to do? Sit around the Photohut with you?" Tom nodded his head. "exactly." "I can't do that. I'd be a distraction. i don't want to get you fired.." I told him. "of course you will be a distraction! but that doesn't matter. c'mon Kay!" He said.

Doctor, Doctor Gimmie the News

T: ERIC! WHO IS ON TOP WHEN YOU HAVE SEX?!
E: what??
T: awnser it! are you on top, or is Cheyenne?
E: me, DUH!
T: good! that's what i thought! now, how often is Chey on top?
E: I don't think she ever has...
T: like once in a blue moon, right?
E: no... why do you ask?
T: okay, like, once a week she should be on top. but Kayla thinks she's always gonna be on top! and i called her my bitch.
E: Hahahahahhahahahaha you did it? how did it go? and your never on top? okay, we have more problems then the crying deal....
T: I KNOW!! so not fair! she acts like it's weird. and nothing.. she thought it was a sex joke.
E: Hahahaha acts like it's weird? maybe your doing something wrong...see, i told you she wouldn't be mad if you called her your bitch.
T: NO! i'm good in the sack! okay, does she give you oral more than you give her?
E: Hahahahaha sure you are Tom. and yes, she does. i prefer to recieve oral rather than give it.
T: I am! and good! theres only a few things i'll do! and that doesn't include more oral. hmph.
E: what are you talking about?
T: nevermind. god, i gotta shape up! be a man.
E: you do!! but really, what are you talking about?
T: the fact that Kayla think's she's dominant in the bedroom!
E: well, from what i'm hearing, she is..
T: NO! NOT ANY MORE! how did you become dominant?
E: not anymore? i was BORN dominant. i'm a DUDE. you would be to if you would learn to tell Kayla no.
T: right! and i will! but you gotta teach me a few things...
E: like what?
T: who starts phone sex?
E: the guy does, DUH!
T: okay, i got it. tell me more.
E: well, what else do you wanna know? and btw, IF your gonna do phone sex, YOU may want to figure out what your gonna say before hand..
T: like? what have you done?
E: i havn't done it actually. it's not my thing.
T: then how would you know?
E: cuz! i see those aerosmith videos!
T: you need experience just as much as me.
E: you will be fine! it's not that hard! what else?
T: uh... what else do i need to know?
E: i dunno. what other issues do you have in your sex life?
T:... like, foreplay. i lost my touch.
E:... what do you mean? how can you loose your touch on that? do you just kiss her and go into it?
T: latley...
E: why?? what is wrong with you?!?!
T: what do YOU do?
E: just whatever. i think you need to see a doctor...
T: whatever? what is whatever?!?!
E: i dont know. sorta comes natural. if you think about it to much, your gonna end up being stiff and awkward.
T: right...
E: what? tom, you need fucking TRAINING! just, try phone sex, okay?
T: with YOU???
E: Nooo! with Kayla! wtf?!?! come on man, get your head in the game!!

True Love Wont Desert You

{85}

I was lounging on the couch, looking at my nails, thinking that a darker shade of red might have brought out my tan more. "Baaabee!" Tom said before kissing me. "yeah?" i asked him. "How you doohan?" He asked. i laughed at his Wendy Williams impersonation. "I'm doing just fine, Tommy." "hmm, are you sure?" Tom asked me, wail positioning himself across my lap. "I'm positive." I ran my fingers through Tom's hair. pushing his bangs out of his eyes. "that's good honey." he said, closing his eyes. "what's wrong baby?" i asked him. "nothing! as long as your happy, I'm happy." i nodded my head "are you sure?" Tom usually takes convincing to get anything out. "of course Kay!" he said. "good.."
My relationship with Tom could not be any better at this point. We have been living together in his apartment for nearly a month with no problems of any sorts. I could honestly say that the time that i have spent with Tom has been the best I've spent with any man.
"I looooooooooooove youuuu peaches!" He said to me. I laughed. "peaches? that's cute! i love you too!" peaches? that was a new name that i could get use to. "isn't it? good! what do you wanna do today, peaches?" Tom asked me. "Whatever you wanna do, Tommy." I said, being the best girlfriend i could be. "You wanna come with me to band practice?" Band practice? I am more than okay with the guys in the band, but as for their girlfriends- I'm not to keen on them.. "only if Amber isn't there... you know how she scares me." I told Tom. I can handle Cheyenne, at times. But, Amber is beyond what i can deal with. Tom spends more time yelling at Amber during a practice than he spends playing. Sure, Amber can dish it out, but she can't take it. She can say whatever she wants about anybody, but as soon as they turn around and say something back, she gets pissy. "If she's there, I'll make Jeff kick her out, okay peaches?" "otay.." i said, not quietly enough for tom to miss "aww you're too cute Hun!" "not as cute as you, Tommy." I can admit, Tommy and I can be extremely cheesy when we want to be. It's actually quite embarrassing when Eric or Fred over hear us talking.. "aww i love you.." "i love you too!" For a lead singer in a heavy metal band, Tom is as passionate, sensitive and gentle as fabio. "good! c'mon, let's get going." Tom said, getting off my lap. "do you HAVE to go to practice? i like sitting here with you..." I was definitely enjoying this time with Tom. A nice, relaxing day with Tom would make things even better. "we can... cancel it..." "aww, really? thata' be great!" i said, giving Tom a kiss. "do you just wanna hang around with me today?" Tom asked. "mmhmm" "aww i feel special Hun!" "your special to me!" "and your special to me! so, what do you think of us- living on a beach somewhere?" A random question, i thought. What does living on a beach have to do with anything? "are we moving babe?" It would be nice to own a house on a beach with Tom. "no... I don't have the money for that." Then why would Tom bring it up? "so what's this about living on a beach?" "A fantasy" He told me. "your fantasy is living on a beach with me?" How sweet is that! Tom's fantasy could have been making millions of dollars making music and getting the keys to the playboy mansion- a fantasy that every man has- but, he would rather live with me on a beach, with the money he makes making music.. "yeah... but in a HUGE house!" Tom was getting excited just thinking about it. "the two of us would need a HUGE house?" i asked, hinting at maybe having kids in the future. "yeah! just because we could afford it..." He didn't get the hint.. "one day, Tommy.." I have all the faith in the world for Tom to make it big in the music industry. I swear, I'm his biggest fan. "i swear! you have my word, baby!" He promised me. "We don't need those types of things to be happy..." I told him. "of course not! look where we are now." He said, looking around our crappy apartment that we could hardly afford. "it's home to me..." i said, hoping to make him feel better. "aww!" He kissed me. "We wont be here much longer, Tommy. i know it." I told him. "I hope so, i really do.." He said, looking quite glum. "your music is genius! i have faith in you. your gonna do great!" i said, giving him a comforting hug. "What would I do with out you Kay?" He said, not letting go of me. "what you did before you met me." "not much.." I remembered the first night I spent in Tom's apartment. His neighbor was pounding on the wall and yelling "keep it down in there! I'm trying to sleep!" Tom wanted me to scream as loud as i could just to annoy his neighbor, who apparently "always does that! every time i bring a girl over he yells." That really turned me off, i gotta say. "from how your neighbor sounds, you did quite a bit." i said to him. "well- i mean, that wasn't, it was... a hobby?" Tom tried saving his butt. "Sure it was." i said, not wanting an explanation. "you know what i mean! it was to pass the time! until i met you..." okay, now i wanted an explanation from Tom. "explain to me," i said, moving closer to tom to get his full attention. "why did you give me your number? i didn't know WHAT on earth i was saying. i sounded stupid!" "because i figured you were just starstruck by such a handsome man," oh Tom, always so conceded. "oh really? you were so full of yourself! 'you did great out there!' 'i know!'" i quoted from the day we met. "i wasn't! i just- it doesn't matter... we're here now.." he said, giving me a kiss. "okay Tommy." "I was only like that because i liked you..." As if that made any sense. "that was the first thing i said to you, besides my name! you didn't like me yet." I told him. "yes! i thought you were cute!" Cute? Plenty of those girls at the show that night were hot, maybe even a few were sexy, but i was "cute" and he decides to be with ME? the "cute" girl? now, how does that work out? "you did?" "of course i did!" he said, kissing my neck and soon moving down to my shoulder. "i love you," He told me. "c'mon!" he took my hand and pulled me off the couch. "Tom, where are we going?" i asked, following him. "bedroom, peaches!" he said.

Loves Got Me Doin' Time

I have only been with Freddie for no longer than two weeks. How could he say "i love you"?
I know that Freddie and I have a past together, and that may be coming into play, but i still don't understand.
Tom is divorcing me. i would have never thought that our marriage would end like this. Tom was the first man i fell in love with. He made me happy like no one else could. I never wanted to be the woman who trusted her husband to full extent, only to find out that he's been cheating. It hurts to learn that the man you gave everything to has been seeing another woman behind your back.
I appreciate everything that Fred has done for me these past few weeks. Fred means a lot to me. But, i had to explain to him that i'm not quite ready to fall in love again. i hanv't been teh same since Tom left, and Fred relizes that. i don't want to lie to Fred and tell him that i love him, then put no effort into enforcing it.

Teen Machine

I dropped the current issue of tiger beat on Freds lap. "what is this?" He asked me, picking up the magazine and looking at the cover. "go to page 19." i told him. I watched as he flipped through the pages of the magazine. "what is this?" He read through the article. "what do you think it is! they found out!" i yelled. i knew that Fred was probably tired of hearing about my divorce with Tom. But, if Fred is going to be with me, he has to deal with the fact that i am going through a tough divorce right now. I need his support. "Kayla, you need to move on. out with the old and in with the new." He has been repeating that ever since the night Tom left. I took it as, "forget about Tom, I'm here and you need to be focused on our relationship." In a way, i suppose Fred was right. If Tom didn't want to be with me, then why take out my anger and depression on my relationship with Fred? Fred doesn't deserve that. I finally got my "real" relationship with Fred. Before, it was "hey, let's hide behind close doors and have sex. better hope that Tom doesn't find out." I never had the chance to REALLY concentrate on Fred. "your right.."

Yet, Another Wedding

1) Reception room
2) Wedding cake
3) Engagement ring
4) Bridal Bouquet
5) Groom tuxedo
6) Flower girl dress
7) Bridesmaid dress
8) Church where wedding will be held
9) Bride dress
10) Bride hairstyle
11) Ring bearer
12) Bridal shoes

Like I don't Care

{ Eric Brittingham }

Cheyenne now thinks that our marriage is jinxed, hence why she refuses to marry me. I made the mistake of trusting Lori to take care of our divorce in 1984, only for it to come knocking me in the ass three years later on my wedding day.

I didn't tell Cheyenne about Lori because i didn't feel it was important. Any woman who finds out that their fiance was married before them would go crazy, right? I guess it didn't help for Cheyenne to find this out on her wedding day, did it?

So, here we are on our "honeymoon" in Australia. Today i didn't get my koala and my "wife" informed me that she doesn't want to get married after our wedding disaster. How am i supposed to take that? "oh, don't take it personally, Eric." she told me. Fuck- how do you think I'm supposed to take this? She thinks that buying me a stuffed koala would make things better. i will not lie, it is quite cute and fluffy, but it doesn't heal the pain, Cheyenne.

After Tom told me that he was divorcing Kayla, i started to realize that maybe Cheyenne was right. Maybe marriage wasn't the best thing for us right now, like i thought it was. If Tom and Kayla didn't last, what chance do Cheyenne and I have?

Relationships are hard..

Wang-Chung

{ Jeff Labar }

It wasn't until i saw the way Tom acted when he came to the house to pick up some things, that i realized what i had been apart of. I felt awkward sitting on his couch in his beach house with his wife sitting on Fred's lap wail Tom stuffs a suitcase with clothes.

When Kayla said "Tom is on his way, he should be here any moment." a nervous bug crawled into my skin. Knowing Tom, he would walk in, see Fred, and throw him against the wall threatening him to stay away from Kayla like he has done in the past. Instead, he walked in, saw Fred, packed his things, said goodbye to me, flipped off Kayla, and left. Tom surprised me, what can i say.

Fred was proud of himself for succeeding in sabotaging Tom and Kayla's marriage. Fred got what he wanted, right? The ultimate prize was Kayla. If i was Fred, i wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that i ruined my best friends marriage and seeing my girlfriend depressed and miserable. How can Fred enjoy his time with Kayla if she is still upset over Tom. Fred doesn't realize that it is going to take plenty of time for her to heal and move on. Sure, i guess you can say she has moved on-being with Fred and all. But truly, Kayla hasn't let Tom go. And how can you expect her to? Kayla has been with Tom for almost five years. Their anniversary is in November. Kayla probably isn't thinking about this right now, but when it comes time to sign those divorce papers, she has to settle things with Tom in court. Fred has to be there, do you think he is going to enjoy that? Fred didn't think of a lot of things when he cooked-up this plan. I know Tom, and i don't think he would let Fred win like this. I understand that Tom is upset, but it wouldn't be right if he let Fred get away with this.

I was a bad person to get involved in this, i know that. And if Tom is truly going to divorce Kayla over this, that's when i am going to step in. I'll let Fred have his fun with Kayla for right now, he deserves it, doesn't he? But Tom and Kayla are meant to be. If Fred gets in the way of that, i am going to tell Tom about Fred's plan. There is a chance that Tom could ignore the fact that Fred sabotaged his marriage and sign the divorce papers to get it over with and move on. But there is also the chance that he will confront Fred in front of Kayla. Kayla doesn't know about Fred's plan either, and I'm sure when she finds out about it, Fred isn't going to stand a chance.

Tom has probably already spoken to Eric. Telling him all about the situation. It's funny how everyone thought Kayla and Tom were going to be the couple to make it through, when actually Eric and Cheyenne have been doing a pretty good job considering their wedding was a disaster. What are they going to do now? If Tom and Kayla couldn't make it, whats the chances of them making it? And that is what is going to ruin it for them. Cheyenne is superstitious, and there is no way that she is going to marry Eric after finding this out. Fred didn't only ruin one marriage, he ruined two.

Koala's and Iguana's

Eric- *throws stuffed koala, Al, at Cheyenne.
Chey- .....you dropped Al..
Eric- i THROUGH Al

Man Behind the Mask

{ Jeff Labar }

The first thing I wanted to do in Hawaii, before Fred dragged me to Tom's house to sabotage his marriage, was to get a drink. lord knows that i was gonna need a few to get through tonight.

I sat the bar with Fred. Fred constantly nagged at me to hurry my drink. "Jeff, you need to hurry the fuck up. I can't carry these underwear in my pocket all day!" You would think by now, i have developed a tolerance to Fred's childish games. "What do you think you are going to do?" I asked him. "I am going to put this under her bed. She will find it, think Tom cheated on her, and she will leave him. simple as that." He said, taking a drink of his Dr. Pepper. "Who looks under their bed on a daily basis? I don't think she is going to find the underwear." "no, no. listen, they are going to be peaking out a bit, enough for her to see them." Fred thinks he is so clever. "what will you do if that doesn't work? you know Kayla forgives Tom for everything. What if he talks her out of it?" Even i knew that Fred's plan was not going to work. "I already thought of that. I will get Nadia to call the house and leave Tom a message. but, Kayla will hear it and that is MORE proof that he cheated!" Fred has gone crazy.. "I still can't believe you are doing this to Tom. you two have been friends since before he even met Kayla." i didn't understand Fred. who would go through this much trouble for a chick? I could understand if he was going for Heather Locklear, but Kayla? Kayla isn't worth this. "so where does Tom fit in with this plan? what about him? have you even thought about that? you can't just leave him in the dust. He WILL kick you out of the band if he finds out about this, or the fact that your moving up on his wife." Fred moved his hair out of his face, taking a deep breath before saying, "you will see, Jeff. i have this whole thing planned out." I wonder how long it took Fred to cook up a plan like this. I can see fred, sitting in his house at a wooden desk drafting a plan on paper under a small lamp. Who knew Fred could be so conniving? "What about Nadia, i thought she was your girlfriend?" i asked him. "She was only part of the plan." "what did she do?" Fred is trading in a french model for Kayla? I swear that boy is nuts. "She made Kayla jealous, didn't she? so, her job checked out." I knew that getting involved in this was wrong. Tom is my friend. How could i help Fred sabotage his marriage? Because Fred is my friend to, and in a strange way, i can understand where he is coming from. I would with out a doubt go through all of this to be with Robin. I guess Kayla is to Fred what Robin is to me. But, Kayla is also to Tom what she is to Fred that Robin is to me. you understand? I finished the last drops of my beer, and ordered another. "So what will happen when Tom eventually finds out that you are with Kayla?" When Kayla is past her depression, done crying and feeling sorry for herself, she is going to want to move on with her life. And who is going to be there? Fred. I bet Tom has already thought of this, to. "What can he do? in the end, it's Kayla's decision." He said. I guess there is some truth behind that statement. But, i am sure that Tom is going to find a way to make Fred pay for it.

Reaching for You

i can't belive that i have never though of this before! it's much easier to get Jeff to do my dirty work!
I met Jeff at the emergency exit door after the show. "tell me everything! every detail!" i demanded. "i'm sorry Kayla, but.. he doesn't know." i felt my heart sink into my stomache. "what do you mean- he doesn't know?" Jeff looked around, checking for witnesses, making sure no one was close enough to hear our convorsation. "he doesn't know how he feels about you, or he wont tell me.." "what did he say, exactly?" Fred must feel SOMETHING to lead me on like this. "it was all very confusing. he said he liked you, but then he said he didn't. then he said you would be together if it wasn't for tom. so, i dont know." Jeff was a horriable puppet. "kayla, i'm trying to help you here. i really am." he told me. i hugged him "i know jeff, thanks." when i let go, i noticed fred walk out of the bathroom. "i'll see you on the bus, jeff." i said before i chased after fred. "freddie!" i called out. fred turned around to see me "hiya kitten!" he said with a smile. i felt myself blushing. i quicly hid my face with my hair, before fred could see my cheeks. "what's the matter, kitten?" he asked me. he moved the hair out of my face. by the time he did, the blushing had stopped. thank god. his hand stayed on my face, caressing my cheek. i hope he washed his hands... "so, uh- freddie. how was the show?" i asked, out of nervousness. "didn't you watch?" "i was.. busy." an excuse i'm sure he could have taken the wrong way. "it was great. too bad you missed it." "for shame.."

Gingersnap

When we arrived in Hawii, the natives welcomed us with gifts of orcid lays and candies. i had forgotten how generous and friendly the people are in Hawii. if it were up to me, i would live here.
We stayed at the same beach house as we did last year. i noticed the owners had replaced the bedroom door. during one of our arguments, i had taken refuge in the bedroom to get away from tom. only for him to attempt to break the door down. constant pounding and kicking resulted in cracks and chipped paint. "here we are" tom said, setting down his suitcases by the couch. "yeah" i said, as i continued to look around the house. "yup..." for an unknown reason, we felt awkward. we both knew that we were here to fix our marriage. our marriage is not terriable, but i want to fix these minor problems before they grow into something we can't handle. honestly, i didn't know how this "vacation" would turn out. i am scared that we dont fix our problems, resulting in a divorce. maybe i'm just psyching myself out. me and tom havn't fought about anything for quite a few months-except the occational "stop flirting with fred!"-so, our marriage could not be a failure after all. i just feel like tom has started loosing interest, you know? like he doesn't want to put forth any effort. i could just be crazy..
"so, what do we do now?" i asked tom. "well.. we uh.. " he sat on the couch. "how about we, hmm.." pathetic. we can't even think of a way to spend time together. our marriage is fucked...

Sunshine of your Love

i remember the days up to proposal..
I remember sitting with Tom on a wooden bench in the middle of a park after an afternoon spent roaming around a small hawiian town. the sun was beating down on us as we hurryied to finish our icecream cones before they were a puddle benethe our feet. the wind blew gently through our hair, giving us a relief from the arid enviroment. days like these are common in hawii. the park over looked the ocean. in my mind, i thought this would be the perfect setting for a wedding. "tom, dont you think today would be the ideal day for a wedding?" i pointed to the dock. a platform of wood planks that layed a great distance from the shore. a trail of finely sculpted wood fencing lined the edges. rows of flowers were planted upon the top of the fencing. "uh.. a-wedding? i uh- sure." tom sounded nervous. he acted as if the mention of a "wedding" was forbiden. "tom, are you okay?" his cheeks turned a light shade of pink, almost identical to the strawberry icecream he was consuming. "yeah, i uh- i'm fine. i'm rosey as a matter of fact." tom failed to reasure me that he was okay. "i mean, look at that dock! it's beautiful! that would be the perfect place for a wedding. dont you agree?" tom started to tense up. "uh-yeah." in my mind, i started imagining the lucky couple who's wedding would take place on the dock. then, i began questioning my realationship with tom. i have been with tom for four years. we should have been married by now. what was he waiting for? doesn't he love me? "kayla, dont you think its time to go home?" i snapped out of my day dream "hmm? oh- yeah."
The following day, tom and i were sitting on the pourch of our beach house. we watched the waves roll onto the shore then flow back into the ocean. "how long would you say we have been together?" tom asked me. "about four years." i awnsered. "long time, huh?" tom didn't look at me when he spoke. he starred down at his hands. his fingers, fidgiting with the button on his shirt, shook with nervousness. what is happening with tom? he gets so nervous..
Upon the next day, i was walking into the kitchen when i saw tom sitting at the table with his hands in his pockets. "good morning, tom" i said, sitting next to him. he didn't reply instantly "tom?" "kayla, i've been thinking a lot of how i should do this... and, i think the best way to do this, would be in our house, a place that we have both cheristed and created..." i didn't understand what he was talking about. "you know- i love you, insanly." he took his hand out of his pocket, holding a small velvet box. "will- kayla, will you marry me?" i remained speachless. not only was i suprised, but just last week i had my heart broken by fred. i didn't know if tom was proposing to keep me away from fred. i didn't think tom would ever propose- exspeically after i through a fit when fred broke up with me and i ran back to him. "tom.."
here i am today, a year later in november, married to tom. i'm still having problems with fred, and i'm still in love with tom.

Jay-sus Gawd and Christ!

when i woke up, i relized tom wasn't beside me. that's right. i forgot that he decided to sleep on the couch after our argument stormed out of control. my head felt like it had millions of little type writters working inside. there wasn't enough advil on earth to make this headache go away. i layed in bed, trying to remember last night. everything seemed as if it happend in a fog..
Tom and i brought a stereo and three bottles of whiskey to the beach. the moon hid behind the dark clouds. the water was calm. not one seagul squaked. i have never seen such and erie enviroment in hawii. tom opened a bottle with his shirt "would you like the first drink?" he asked me. "naw, you go ahead." i told him. the beach was deserted, not a person in sight. "tommy, don't you think it's a little too quiet? it's odd." he didnt seem to be worried quite like i was "Kayla, relax. it's not a big deal." tom handed me the bottle. i took a quick drink before saying "your right.." tom was usually the paronoid one. if he wasn't worried, why should i be?
An hour and three bottles of whiskey later, tom and i were arguing. i for one, blame the alchol and Tom's lack of listening skills. "your the one with the problem!" i yelled, throwing an empty bottle into the ocean. "no, it's you!" i dont think either of us understood why we were yellling. just to yell, i guess. right then, i heard the sound of feet trailing through dry sand. i looked to see fred standing behind me. "hey freddie! whadda you doin here?" i asked. he didn't awnser. tom sat on a pile of sand, ignoring Freds presance. "what are you two fighting about?" he asked. "i dunno!" i awnsered, shrugging my shoulders. "kayla started it" tom mumbled. "unk! oh, what are you fuckin' tawkin' abawt?! oh, jesus cher-ist! you stupid fuck! jesus! fred, get him the fuck outta heah! oh, what a cunt! oh, jay-sus!" i yelled. fred starred at me, probably thinking i was crazy. "what has gotton into you, kitten?" he asked me. "two bottles of whiskey." i said, smiling. tom pushed sand around with his feet, as if he was bored. i started to get angry over nothing. i suddenly wanted tom to feel pain. i dont know what came over me, but i acted by grabbing fred by his shirt and pulling him towards me. i stuck my tounge down his thorat and my hand down his pants. when i let him go, he through up his hands "tom, that wasn't me. it was all her, i swear!" he pleaded. i rolled my eyes. typical fred. tom didn't instantly act like he usually would, by throwing a fit. he waited until we got home for that.

My Bitch

T: SHE ACCEPTED MY APOLOGY
E: she did? congrats! so my flower plan worked? did the twix melt?
T: she didnt mention the twix...
E: so, its all good between you two now?
T: i think so...
E: good!
T: i bet she hates me..
E: why do you say that? you said she forgave you, right?
T: yeah, but i dont know if she meant it
E: why would you say that? did she sound like she meant it?
T: not really
E: what did she say? what did you write on the card?
T: thats private
E: what do you mean? what did you write?
T: NOOO thats private!!
E: how is it private? did you write a fuckin' love letter in an envelope sealed with wax from her favorite scented candle?
T: i should have, goddamnit!
E: tell me what you wrote!!
T: no! i have to write a letter!
E: your gonna write a letter now? she forgave you, man! why keep trying?
T: to make her forget it completly!
E: like a letter is gonna do that
T: if it's so romantic she cries, then YES!
E: hahahahahhha how are you gonna do that?
T: its not hard to make her cry
E: so what are you gonna do if your still not convinced that she forgvies you after you send this "romantic love letter"?
T: ...uh... i got it! cry! she wont be able to resist me crying
E: ... how will she see you cry?
T: i'll do it over the phone!
E: right... and she's gonna hang up on you
T: no! would you hang up on Cheyenne if she was crying?
E: thats different. i'm the man. i would be in deep shit if i hung up on Cheyenne.
T: no!!!
E: man, i cant belive you. your such a wuss! "oh, my wife was being a bitch cuz i have to work. so, im gonnna kiss her ass with candy, flowers, love letters and im gonna cry my eyes out! maybe then she will forgive me for working my ass off to make a living for the both of us!" thats what you sound like!!
T: ...so?
E: YOU DONT SEE A PROBLEM WITH THAT?! look what she did to you, man!!
T: i know.. i cant help it! i wont let her leave me
E: so your gonna kiss her ass for teh rest of your life?
T: ... what else can i do?
E: set her straight!! dont let her boss you around! she's YOUR bitch!
T: ... she's not my BITCH
E: what?
T: im not gonna call her my bitch. no way. forget about it.
E: why not? dude! shes YOUR bitch, say it!
T: no! nuh uh! no!
E: say it!
T: no! shes not my bitch!
E: they are considered bitches when a pimp grants them or when you get married. or, thats what Dino told me. anyway... so! pimp keifer, claim your bitch!!
T: who the hell is Dino?
E: he works at the bar down the road, midnight on tuesdays and wendsdays. now tell her!
T: ...your a fucking retard!! only you would take advice from a BARTENDER!
E: i didnt take his advice! i just remember our discussion on how a pimp raises his bitches. go call your wife and cry, pansy ass!
T: NO! fine, she's my bitch..
E: hahaha congrats!

Bird Flowers

T= tom
E= eric
Chey= short for Cheyenne
*side notes

T: I HATE KAYLA
E: what??
T: shes being a bitch! she texted robin who told jeff who told me that kayla said that i'd rather tour than go with her to hawii!
E: ....one more time. that was confusing
T: kayla's been shit talking me!!
E: well..you've said some things to. like, on the bus the other day. now, what she said wasn't nearly as harsh as what you said...
T: so?? she can't do that!! only i can! *dominant
E: .... your such a hippocrate. hope you know that, tom
T: i dont care! i'm in charege of this relationship!!
E: hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahah oh, really? well, if you think of it that way, it's never gonna last. *relationship expert
T: like YOU'D know! you break up with chey every other week
E: hey! she's just the type of woman that doesn't know what she wants. so she breaks up with me! but she always comes back! don't get me involved in this, tom. just because your marriage is crap doesn't mean you have to take it out on me..
T: ITS NOT CRAP! YOUR CRAP! MY MARRIAGE IS FINE!
E: oh really?? "I HATE KAYLA" i dont think that's healthy, man
T: you hate chey sometimes too!
E: i never say i HATE her
T: but you do, right!
E: i dont! whats your fight even about anyways?
T: the tour
E: what do you mean?
T: she's mad because the tour is going longer than expected, and we're gonna have to go to hawii later.
E: so then why are YOU mad?
T: because she's yelling at me and saying i'd rather tour than spend time fixing our marriage! and that i did this on purpose!
E: well, did you explain to her that it's not what she thinks? or did you just yell and make things worse for yourself, like you always do
T: the first thing you said! but, she didnt listen.
E: then you yelled?
T: yeah... so?
E: so what are you gonna do?
T: i dont know!! what should i do?
E: if i were you, i'd try to make it up to her with something special.
T:.. does that work? or should i just get another tattoo?
E: why would you get another tattoo?
T: they make her happy... if they pertain to her..
E:... wow! what would you get this time?
T: i dont know.. what would you get?
E: i dont know. you will think of something. lets see, you got your nipple peirced, a tattoo of her name across your back, and her lip print on your hip. what else is there?
T: my body has already gone through too many modifications.. how about i just her her flowers?
E: does she like flowers??
T: i think so....
E: so then whats her favorite? cuz if you get her the wrong kind, she will never forgive you, trust me.
T: do flowers work with your girlfriends?
E: cheyenne loves flowers. exspecially when i put cheesy notes on them
T: good... and i can write something cheesy! what about ex's? did they like flowers to?
E: i never got them flowers.. so, this that what your gonna do? get her orchids with a dumb card?
T: no... she likes bird something flowers.. i think
E: bird flowers? what?? well, flowers only work with SOME people and SOME dissagreements..
T: like?? TELL ME DUDE!!
E: like, when cheyenne thought i didnt want to marry her.. i gave her flowers to show her that i DO care, and to save my ass! or, when you call your girlfriend by your ex's name. or when you accidnently shoot her cat. or when you meet her sister for the first time and say "aww when is the baby due?" but she's actually just fat... small fuck ups, you know?
T:... is this a small fuck up?
E: is it?
T: it should be... i didn't shoot Helo..
E: depends on how mad she is... have you talked to her since yesterday?
T: no...
E: did you TRY to call her?
T: was i suppost to?
E:....your SO dumb!! how have you gotton this far??
T: because! we havn't fought much...
E: fine, uhh.. forget the flowers then
T: no! i'll send flowers and call!
E: call first.. and be NICE! and apologize! then get her those bird flowers and think of something cheesy to put in the card. and attach her favorite candy bar to it.
T: what candy does she like?!?!
E: i dont know!!
T: god damnit! :( i'm doomed...
E: thats why you have me!! i'm the expert in saving guy's asses, and your...
T: AND MY MARRIAGE!!
E: just, dont fuck up again, okay? next time, i'm charging ya.
T: .....

'Cuz There Ain't No Breeze that Cools the Heat of Love

F= fred
K= kayla

F: Hiya toots!
K: hello freddie
F: how are youuuu and what are youuu doing?
K: haha i'm pretty good, just went shopping. bought me some summer clothes.
F: good for you! now its time for you to ask me how i'm doohan.
K: hahaha how are you doing freddie?
F: im doohan okay. went shopping with Eric, and he got attacked by a bird. thats what i call karma!
K: HAHAHA thats funny! only eric.. kinda funny how we both went shopping, tho :)
F: we have SO much in common!
K: haha we do! we just need to go shopping together!
F: and you can buy me things!!
K: haha maybe, if im allowed to. i need to get you a cowboy hat..
F: a black one please
K: aww for real? i'll definatly get you a cowboy hat! :D but we will have to wait til i see you tho. i need to pick it out, to make sure it looks good on you.
F: please gir, i look good in anythang.
K: haha sooo i should be tehre in 2 days :)
F: OH YES! I'M EXCITED! you gonna bring me a present?
K:: i dunno
F: i hate you :(
K: wow! what can you possiably want from me??
F: a black cowboy hat pwease
K: fine.. whateva the baby wants
F: I KNEW THERE WAS PROPS TO BEING YOUNG
K: haha okay freddie. but i may not be able to give it to you for a few months.
F: why is that?
K: me and tommy are going to hawii alone for awhile
F:....... your what??
K: going to hawii.. didn't tom tell you?
F: no... why are you doing this to me?
K: what do you mean?
F: leaving me!
K: you will be fine, freddie! i promise! i'll only be in hawii for like.. three months max.
F:.... i have to go
K: what? why? you can't go!
F: bye!
K: what? fred, no!

Saint Jimmy

{ Eric Brittingham }

They call him Saint Jimmy. i have never questioned it. i suppose it's meant to be ironic. saint jimmy is far from the definition of "saint". i dont know who jimmy is. he's not a musician, drug dealer, pimp, or even a manager. jimmy is just a guy who hangs around that is cool with everybody. no one really knows where he comes from.

"Boy, you look like shit." he told me. the bartender layed another beer on the coaster in front of me. "i feel like shit, jimmy." i said, chugging half the glass. "you remember Cheyenne, right?" i asked him. i can't remember if Jimmy has ever met Cheyenne, or at least heard me talk about her. I try to keep Cheyenne away from these sorts of guys. It's trouble that our relationship doesn't need. somehow, nikki sixx slipped past my barrier. "yeah." jimmy said. "it's over." i was worried that Cheyenne would never come back. i haven't heard from her in two months. when i told her that we needed a break, i expected her to realize within a few days that she couldn't handle living without me. "that's tough, man." jimmy mumbled. i looked at his glass, over flowing with foam and bubbles. "you have no idea. you know, i asked her to marry me. how stupid am I! all these years she has been nagging at me, picking fights and crying because she wanted to get married. now, look where it has gotton us. i'm mopping in a bar, and she's probably in California mooching off Nikki!" i have to learn to not give in to anything Cheyenne tells me to do. she's obviously wrong. marriage was not the best thing for us. I called that from the beginning.

I watched droplets of condensation run down jimmy's glass. jimmy rolled a piece of paper from a straw wrapper between his two fingers. "i'm sorry, but i'm going back to the bus." i told him. i felt like a bore. i grabbed my coat from the back of my hair "i'll see you around, jimmy." with that, i stumbled my way out of the bar.

Gimmie All of your Love

T= tom
K= kayla

T: good! lets make this more interesting!
K: hahaha how shall we ever do that?
T: lets see... if we could do anything right now, what would you choose to do?
K: hahaha well, RIGHT NOW, i would say we would have dinner.. i know that's not interesting, but its the truth. i'm starving. what would you wanna do, tommy?
T: sex. like, a lot of sex. then dinner!
K: hahaha feeling lonley?
T: just a little
K: awww my poor baby!
T: i know! i need some loving! bably!
K: now, dont go looking for some, okay?
T: im not!! i'll just go cry myself to sleep. and i'll tell my penis not to get his hopes up.
K: aww im sorry tommy! and tell your dick i'm sorry for him too
T: he's not excepting any apologies, and he called your vagina a cunt.
K: haha thats to bad, cuz she misses him.
T: does she! well, he's gonna pretend like he doesnt miss her.
K: tsk tsk. sooo how is everything else going, tommy? besides your lack of sex.
T: bad! i miss you!
K: aww i miss you too honey! you need to get home!
T: you better! i wanna see your new boobs!
K: i showed you! was that not good enough?
T: not the same
K: thats cuz they dont look noticably different. see, i should demand my money back.
T: they do! but its not the same as actually SEEING THEM.
K: thats to bad :(
T: it is. fly out here!
K: you fly HERE!
T: i cant!
K: why not? tommy, you know i cant fly. when are you coming close to here? i'll drive.
T: well, i want you NOW!
K: im sorry. whadda you want me to do?
T: you can tell me how im suppost to live without you!
K: you cant. thats why i'll be in utah with you next week, okay?
T: ...you will? :D
K: of course i will! but shhhh, it's suppost to be a suprise
T: you little! i love you!

My Eyes are up Here

( This txting convorsation may not make a lot of sense, and i apolgize for that. but, some of the messages got earased, so this is all i had. )

K= kayla
F= fred

F: HIYA BABE

F: because you ruined my sexy icecream eating!
K: sexy icecream eating??
F: i looked damn fine!
K: who are you eating sexy for? jeff??
F: NO! you! kinda..
K: what? its not like i can see you..
F: so..

K: i got a boobjob!
F: show me your large boobage!!!
K: what?
F: i wanna see!
K: you cant see! tom would kill me, you know that!
F: tom doesnt have to know!
K: well maybe i dont want to send you a picture of my boobs..
F: ..thanks. i feel important
K: you have to SWEAR on your life that you wont tell tommy.
F: i promise babe!
K: *sends picture. remember, you SWORE! on your life.. so, if you tell, i get to kill you.
F: too bad your wasting those on tom...
K: wadda ya mean?
F: you look hot!
K: awww for realz?
F: DUHH!! you always do! excpet, moar!
K: hahaha thanks freddie!
F: your very welcome..

F: uh.. gotta motor! catch you later babe!

Kitty, Kitty

( I am going to try something a bit different. This format is going to be used for TEXTING )
K= kayla
F= Fred

F: KAYLA! THIS IS URGENT!
K: oh my god, whats wrong freddie?!
F: NO MORE DAMN POPTARTS!
K: ....really, freddie? thats it?
F: and i'm pregnaunt
K: awww congrats! lucky bastard, i'm jealous!
F: ....uh, dont be! it's a siamese thing.
K: its a what? oh well. sooo, how are you doin'?
F: Terriable. no poptarts or kitty cats.
K: awww my poor baby!
F: I KNOW! better not let tom know you called me baby
K: i meant baby as in a kid.. you know, cuz you're the youngest
F: oh, really? ;) well i know your a horny sphynx, so i know you meant it.
K: oh, did i?
F: yes. i know it, sex kitten.
K: hahahahaha i dont even remember why you call me that
F: because your a wild cat!
K: hahahaha why, thank you?
F: your welcome! i know you think i'm a crazy beast in bed too
K: is that what we're talking about now? sex?
F: i do believe so. was it good for you?
K: of course!
F: good. we need to do that again some time.
K: what??
F: you know... if you and tom break up.. not NOW
K: right...
F: sorry about that..
K: no, no. its cool. sooo whatcha doin'?
F: watchin some dumb movie with the guys. this girl is getting raped by her boyfriend.
K: wow, intense
F: she just killed him. hahaha just sat there and went "DAYUM!"
K: hahaha aww he's tooooo cute!
F: ....is NOT! i'm cuter!
K: aww jealouse freddie? well, sounds like a night well spent, eh?
F: yeah, i guess. it would have been better if you were here.
K: why is that?
F: cuz. i gotta go now, the guys are being jerks.
K: what? noooo
F: bye poptart kitty

Desert Sun

This morning when i woke up, i quickly got dressed and headed down to fred's hotel room before he left for sound check.
I knocked on the door. When fred came to the door, he wore nothing but blue and white basketball shorts with a dog tag necklace around his neck. his hair hasn't been brushed quite yet, nor been washed. Fred rubbed his eyes with his fingers as he said "good morning kitten. what can i do for ya?" he scratched his chest. "can i talk to you?" i asked. "can you make it fast, babe?" "i'll try my best" i said, walking into his room and taking a sea on the edge of his bed. Fred grabbed a shirt from the floor and a pair of jeans from the back of the recliner. he walked into the bathroom and shut the door "start talkin'." he said, from inside the bathroom. "i want to know what you have been saying about me, i know that you know what i'm talking about. so, dont even try to talk your way out of this!" i think i just confused myself. "yeah, i know what i say." he said, being a smart ass. "can you tell me?" Fred walked out of the bathroom, fully clothed with his hair combed. "why would i do that? unless, of course, you have something to offer me in return." you gotta be kidding me.. "i'm taking a risk here." he added. "look, i have nothing to offer." he smiled "i'm sure we can work something out." i ignored the comment. "freddie! you can tell me. i promise that i wont get mad.." "i'm not going to tell you everything." oh, figures. "why not?" he laughed "trust me, some shit, your better off not knowing, babe." i didn't say a word. i waited for him to tell me. he soon got the hint. "okay. so, i said a few things. so what? who told you anyway? was it Eric?" i shook my head "it doesn't matter." he laughed at himself, either out of nervousness, or guiltiness-i am not sure if those are even words. "fred, are you going to tell me or what? you know, your a real jerk to talk shit about me, you know that?" "who said i was talking shit?" oh, sly dog, you. "what?" Fred opened the door. "i have sound check to attend. if you dont mind." fine, if fred wasn't going to tell me himself, then i;m sure i can get it out of jeff.

Talk is Cheap

i walked down the hall and knocked on Jeff's door. From inside, he yelled "Come in!" Jeff is so stupid, that he's cute. "i can't. i need a key, dumbass." he opened the door "sorry, i forgot about that..." When i walked into his room, i heard "when doves cry" echoing against the walls of the room. "you like prince?" i asked, not suprised. "yeah!" i paced around the room, checking things out. i noticed he was watching "josie and the pussycats". "so, what did you come here for?" Jeff asked, turning off the radio. "i uh.. wanted someone to talk to." Jeff wasn't my first choice to see advice from, but i'm desperate, and no one else understands. plus, Jeff knew everything that was going on. Fred trusts Jeff, why shouldn't I? "is something bugging you?" He asked. I took a deep breath before saying, "Fred.." "not again.." Jeff knew, just as much as I did, that there is a problem. "hey!" I didn't ask for him to judge me. "well, what are you going to do?" he asked me. "i dont know. i was hoping that you could tell me." "i can't do that.." If jeff cant help me, then no one can. "what? what did you do, jeff?" he quickly defended himself "me? i did nothing! I just- know things... you know?" i guess you can call it backstage talk. like, locker room talk. only, it's backstage.." thanks Jeff, like i couldn't figure that out on my own. "tell me what fred's been saying" he saved his ass by saying "what happens backstage, stays backstage. you know that." fuck, he got me..

Hotel California

i jumped out of bed and peaked out of the hotel room, down the hall. i didn't notice anything unusual. out of curiosity, i roamed the hallway, waiting to hear the noise again. there was only six rooms on this hallway, to which four belonged to members of Cinderella. i stood infrount of room 76. i leaned my ear against the door and listened. nothing. i could have sworn that someone rented this room. so, i knocked on the door, "is anyone in there?" i shouted. i didn't care if i was waking up a stranger. "what's it to ya?" someone shouted back to me. "freddie?" i recognized his voice. i heard the locks unjam and the door squeak open. fred smiled when he saw me "hey kitten!" he wore only a pair of leather pants. a silver cross necklace layed on his bare chest. a green cap tamed down his wild curly hair. "did you hear that noise?" i asked him. he laughed, ignoring my question "come in, come in, my darling." "i don't know if i should.. Tom is already on my case about-" fred interrupted me "come in." he insisted.
When i walked into the room i saw Jeff sitting on a wooden chair next to the bed with a cigarette in his mouth, and an ashtray on his lap. "hey kayla." he said, followed by a hiccup. "hey jeff, should i tell her what the noise was?" Fred threatened Jeff. "don't!" Fred laughed "who knows, it could have been an earthquake. California, eh?" Fred said, picking up a beer that layed on the wooden table beside the bed. "did the noise wake you?" he asked me. "no, i uh- wasn't sleeping." how could i sleep when my mind was so caught up between- "it's like- one in the morning. why aren't you sleeping, kitty?" "i could ask you boys the same thing." i replied. "and i can give you an awnser." i loved how sassy Freddie was. "well, i couldn't fall asleep. it's not a problem." i admitted. "well, me and Jeff are just hangin' out." i looked over to Jeff who was putting out his cigarette in the ashtray. "so.. uh.. how are you and Tom doing?" Fred asked me. "we are..fine.." "no signs of breaking up soon?" He asked me. "you trying to make your move?" i asked. "no! its just that-" Jeff interrupted him "yeah, SURE that's what you mean, buddy." "shut up Jeff!" Fred barked.