❈ Got A Feeling Like A Train Is Running Through My Head ❈

i was cramped in a tiny space between the side of the couch and the metal wall of the bus. cheyenne was behind me, probly worse off. "cheyenne, can i go now?! i want to see tom!" he pinched the back of my shoulder "no! not yet! wait until they get far enough so they cant kick us off!" hiding in the back lounge of my husbands tour bus was probly one of the best ideas i have had in a few months! you know, besides getting in a car accident and spending two weeks in the hospital! we could hear every word that the guys were saying from the frount of the bus. "why couldn't i have had FIVE more seconds with her! im not gonna see her for over a year!" tom complained to jeff. "you can call her." "i cant kiss her through the phone!". i tried my hardest not to laugh, but a little giggle slipped out of my mouth. cheyenne whispered "shut up!" i covered my mouth and tried harder not to let out another giggle. "one day you will see." tom said. "right.." jeff started to loose interest in the convorsation. "tom, your not gonna spend the whole tour talking about your wife-are you?" eric mumbled. "NO!" as if tom was really proving to anyone that he wouldnt talk about me for a majority of the tour. i whispered to cheyenne "can i go now?!" she pushed me forward "sure. go on! remember the plan!" i crawled out of the tight space and took a deep breath. i quietly and slowly walked into the frount of the bus. tom's back was facing me so it was the perfect chance for a suprise. i snuck up behind him and put my hands around his eyes "guess who!" he threw my hands off his eyes and turned around "kayla!" he hugged me. i was glad that he was excited. i would have thought that he would have been pissed and kicked me off the bus, even though we are 30 minuetes away from the house. jeff starred at us "what the fuck are you doing here?!" eric yelled. tom let go of me "hey, this wasnt my idea. so dont blame me! im just glad she's here" jeff looked around the bus. "where's robin?" he waited for robin to jump out of a cabnit any moment. "she- uh.. didnt come." his face sunk. "dont tell me cheyenne came along?" fred said. i tried to change the subject before eric could start talking shit "i had to climb up the bus to get in here! threw the hatch!" i pointed up to the ceiling of the bus where a hatch was convenienly placed. eric ignored what i had said and went on about cheyenne. "im not suprised she wouldn't come, why would she want to confrount me when we are fighting? since, if her being here would give us another chance to talk about it, and maybe make it better. this is sooo like her!" the plan wasn't for eric to talk shit. "dont be like that eric. of course she wants to be here with you!" "then why isnt she here?" i couldn't give in until cheyenne came out the back lounge. i had to think of something else to say! "well, would you want her to be here?" stupid question. "yes.." cheyenne came out the back lounge. "cheyenne!" cheyenne crossed her arms infrount of her chest. "cheyenne?" "Eric! i cant belive you! you dont want me here!" eric got confused "thats not what i said. i said i DID want you here!" "but you didnt sound like it!" i should have known that this would happen. i sat on the couch next to tom and watched them fight. "how did i not sound like it?!" jeff mumbed "bus sweet bus..."

❈ Pretty Please? ❈

, Cyndi asked me to film In the summer of 1985 i was living with my aunt Cyndi in Saratoga Springs, New York. Cyndi Barnes worked as a entertainment reporter for the local news station. She agreed to let me live in her small one story, two bedroom, brick house as long as i work as an intern for her station. it was my job to do things like pick up a tray of coffee's from the shoppe across the street, charge the batteries in the camera's, and restock the brekfast table. Carson, who films Cyndi on locationae was fired this morning. To avoid stress and wasting time, the cinderella concert at the SPAC. She bribed me with the obvious- backstage passes, money, and favor's. I rolled the camera as Cyndi stood infrount of the bands dressing room enterance. "tonight, at the SPAC, cinderella will be preforming. cinderella has been known to provide a spectacular stage show! their show tonight starts at 8:30 pm. im Cyndi Barnes of 11 news and i will continue with updates on tonight's cinderella show." i stopped the camera and handed it to her. "am i done now?" she turned off her microphone and took out her ear peice. "for now. we go live in a few hours." the dressingroom door opened and a tall, dark, curly haired fellow dressed in leather pants and a blue silk shirt walked out. he accidently hit my aunt with he door as he was opening it. "oh, im sorry ma'm." i didnt know who this man was, but his apperance blew my mind! i have never seen anything like him- only in magizines or on t.v. "excuse me, are you tom keifer?" Cyndi asked. He looked down at the microphone and camera that she was holding. "tom keifer? no, ive never heard of him." Cyndi saw past his lie. "if i can just get one interview with-" tom interupted her "look- im sorry. but im not giving any interviews tonight." "but i am Cyndi-" "i dont care who you are, or who you work for. im sorry. excuse me, im busy." he walked passed my aunt and continued down the hall. "can you belive him? i hate celebrites!" i was growing more curious about this tom keifer character. "i can get you that interview!" i said before i could even think it through. "what? kayla, your only an intern!" "i know! but i can do this. just- i got this, i promise!" before she gave me permission, i was off. i ran down the hall in my mini skirt and stiletto heels looking for tom. i saw tom walk into a room. i slowed down to catch my breath. this would be a good time to come up with a plan. i could go in there, go up to tom and DEMAND an interview! i could put on a big cheesy smile and ask nicely, maybe throw in a pretty please if i needed to. or i could go with my last resort, begging! i was pacing up and down the hallway, to scared to go in and talk to him. i tried to build up some courage. "you can do this! you got this! do this for your aunt! if she gets this interview, she could get a promotion! what are you freaking out about?! tom is just a normal guy, he is just like the rest of them!" i decided to just do it! i will walk in, and there is no turning back. i took a deep breath and entered the room. a heavy mist covered me as soon as i entered. the room was humid and made me sweat. my eyes were irritated and could only make out this figure in frount of me. "tom? are you in here?"my eyes were slowly staring to get use to the mist. i felt someone grab my hand. "tom? is that you?" my eyes now had full vision. i relized that i was in a shower room. the mist was hot water evaporating from the line of running showers. i watched as tom kissed my neck and pulled me closer. this is a better way to get an interview than asking him "pretty please".

❈ Basket Case ❈

i let fred take a shower in my house today. he came over this morning telling me the story of how his shower fell through the floor in the bathroom. i didnt understand how that was possiable, but leave it up to freddie to figure it out. tom was at the studio finishing up some tracks. so i didnt see a problem with fred using our shower for a quick second. he used the shower in our master bathroom. i layed on the bed going threw some mail. fred came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist. his chest was glistening. his wood anicent symbol necklace layed on his bare chest. because im married to tom, i wouldnt say that i was STARRING, i was merely observing that a naked man was standing before me. "fred, where are your clothes?" he shook his hair out "i forgot to bring them... do you think i can borrow some from tom? i'll bring them back tommorow! i promise! i'll even wash them... maybe.." "yeah yeah. just get something out of the closet right there." he opened the closet door and looked around for the light switch. "uhh kayla, where is the light?" "you see that basket in the middle of the closet? full of clothes?" "yeah.." "well stand on that. and twist the lighbulb to the left." "your kidding me right... you want me to stand on that basket, and turn on the lightbulb?" "yes.." i took my attension away from fred and consintrated back on the pile of mail i had scattered across my bed. the next thing i know, i hear the closet door slam open and fred fall out on the floor! the basket flew out of the closet, and clothes spilt out all over the floor. fred's towel was laying ontop of the basket. my attension was now brought to a fully naked, dripping wet, man laying on my floor. fred jumped up and laughed at himself. when he relized me starring me at him, he figured out that his towel feel off. the look on his face as he searched the clothes pile for his towel was PRICELESS! as i died of laughter, freddie died of embarassment. when he found his towel he wrapped it back around his waist. "im just.. i'll be back!" fred left the room. i swear.. SOMETIMES...

❈ Desk Sex ❈

Some of the bands that work for the label were schedualed by ray to attend a meeting held by his nephew drew. we werent told what the subject of the meeting was. i had the feeling that it may be bad when tom told me that I had to come along..im not part of the band. im his WIFE! i dont work for the company either. i just show up in the studio every now and again to bring tom his lunch or pick him when he has late nights, or keep him company when he's working alone. we walked into this room with white and brown stripped wallpaper. there was a chalk board hanging on the wall in the frount of the room. a few feet away is where nine rows of desks began. it looked like a classroom, but full of heavy metal freaks. who im guessing to be drew, was standing behind a little desk that he pulled aside for himself. we sat in the very back, closest to the door. we sat like children in our wood desks watching to door to see what kind of person would walk in next. hoping that maybe some of our freinds would be in the same class. as the classroom started to fill up the room got louder. fred was showing off his new boots to jeff. eric was sitting in the desk across from me, carving "FUCK" in the desk with a broken paperclip. tom layed his head on the desk and rested. i sat there, in my seat and waited for whatever was gonna happen, to end. the man behind the small desk up frount stepped over to the chalkboard and introduced himself. "my name is drew perma. ray, the man who owns your company, is my uncle. i work as a counsolar for children, teenagers, and adults. i specilaize in marriage, social and mental counsaling. ray has asked me to tell all of you, some important aspects of everyday life. i know that all you are in "big bad" rock n roll bands. you all make tons of money, get alot of chicks, probly do a lot of drugs. the typicall rock star. am i right?" everyone in the room starred at this red headed boy with frekels that stood before us. he didnt look older than 25. his tie was loose, his shirt was'nt tucked in and he wore nikes... this is a waste of time. ive known ray to be PRETTY stupid.. but i think this tops it. we dont need counsaling.. we dont need to be told what we are doing wrong in life. im not doing ANYTHING wrong! drew picked up a peice of chalk and spoke to us as he wrote on the board. "first off. let me tell you about-" "why the fuck is ray having us do this?!" a guy sitting across the room said. drew stopped writing and walked over to him. "because apparntly, all of you have problems" i raised my hand. its not polite to shout out.. i learned THAT MUCH from school. drew looked in my direction. "yes ms?" "is MRS. and i dont see why WE are here? we dont have as big of problems as some of the other bands that come through here. and if your suppost to be "teaching" us, then does that mean we are gonna have to come to this hell hole more than today? cuz i sw-" eric kicked my chair. drew laughed "calm down.. we are just gonna do an activity, and i hope all of you will learn something and apply this to your everyday life.." "right..." drew finished writting on the board. he backed away from the board and explained what he had wrote. "im going to blow up this beach ball. on this beach ball is words, emotions, anything you can think of! im going to TOSS this ball to someone. when they catch it, look on where your LEFT thumb is. i want you to then describe a time that you felt that way. got it?" drew tossed a pink beach ball to a guy in the frount row. he sat there, with the beach ball in his hands, starring at drew. "your not for real... are you?" drew looked where his thumb was. "oooo good one! you got angry. now tell us of a time you were angry!" he guy gave drew a straight face. it looked like he was amazed at how stupid drew was! drew is related to ray.. it cant be THAT suprising.. "well, your pissing me off right now! i dont want to do this shit!" he threw the ball across the room. it hit some other guy in the face and bounced off on freds desk. fred picked it up "WOO! my turn! ooo! i got silly! i always feel silly!" everyone in the room starred at fred. "okay.. a time when i felt silly.. hmmm.. OOO! i got a good one! there was this one time-" eric took the ball away from fred. "hey! give it back eric! wait your turn!" eric looked at the ball and didnt hesitate to pop it with the paperclip. fred gasped. "ERIC!" eric threw the deflated ball on my desk. "there!" drew's face dropped. "i-uhh.. lets move on to the next activity then!" the class moaned and whined. i set my feet on the legs of toms chair infrount of me. i bounced my legs up and down so that it moved his desk. he didnt lift up his head. i shook harder, watching tom go up and down in his seat. "kayla, stop dry humping the desk!" eric said. "im not humping the desk! im shaking tom! look at his jacket move! i mean- there is a differnce!" "not for you there isnt.." "VERY FUNNY!"

❈Bumper Stickers ❈

i was searching throught the closet in our bedroom to find my red pumps. i JUST saw them yesterday, and now they have gone missing! i scattered shit all over the floor trying to look for them! tom walked in and looked at the mess i created. "kayla! WHAT in the world-" "tom, i have no time to talk! i have to find my red pumps! i cant find them anywhere!" i threw more shoes out of the closet "these are all YOURS!" "what do you need those shoes for? whats wrong with those ones?" he points to a pair of black and white poka dotted wedges. "tom! i cant wear those!" "why not?" "you know just as well as i do that you cant mix patterns! im wearing stripes!" he laughed "well, where was the last place you saw them?" "YESTERDAY! right HERE! but they arnt here anymore!" he sat beside me on the floor and looked into the closet. "Damn, well uh.. i dont know babe. sorry" "sorry?!" he stood up "yeah, nothing i can do." "but-" "just change into a solid color, or poka dots." "UH!" i pushed all the shoes back into the closet. "kayla..i hope your not keeping it like that.." "of course not!" i picked up my poka dotted wedges and put them on. "where are you going anyway?" tom asked. "gonna check the mail" ".....................really?" i took the keys from the dresser and walked out of the house.

❈ Toast ❈

{wedding toast by eric } eric: okay, ive been in a band with tom here for.. i wanna say 5 years? maybe more, maybe less. so, ive known this fucker for awhile. im his best man. and the only thing i can think of to say is..congratultions and may all your ups and downs be inbetween the sheets. or, im some cases, in the back seat of taxi's. *Drinks

❈ Billion Dollar Babies ❈

when i found the time to look at my phone i had noticed that my voicemail was full, and i had 57 missed calls from.. all from tom. i sat on my bed and listened to the voicemails. the first ones started like "kayla, i NEED to talk to you! PLEASE dont do this! call me..please.." there was about 11 of those messages. those messages soon turned into "damn it kayla! i cant belive your not calling me! this is pissing me off! CALL ME!" from that, it went back to "kayla....im sorry.. i REALLY am! and i can explain EVERYTHING to you if you just call me.. kayla.." i earased all the messages and layed my phone on my stomache. i layed in the bed that cheyenne and eric had set up for me in the guest bedroom. this room only had one wide window behind the bed. the bedpost covered most of it, limiting the light it let into the room. i am convinced that i am more heartbroken then tom... i mean-we were getting married in 2 WEEKS! 14 days til our wedding! i walk backstage to see him all over some girl! he exspects me to "listen" that its "not what it looks like" and we "NEED to talk"! there is NOTHING that can make any of this better.. it was hard for me just to give up that ring! i was sooooo excited to marry tom! i was fucking blinded! nothing else mattered to me, except for tom and our wedding! then to be CRUSHED like i was, that fast! just BAM! its killing me.. then the fact that toms not giving up on this.. it would be better if he just left me alone so i can forget about this.. i need to move on now.. and i cant do that when- my phone started vibating on my stomache. i picked it up and looked to see who was calling. the caller id showed a picture of me and tom in hawii. uh.. tom is calling.. AGAIN! i decided to awnser the phone. maybe i could tell him to STOP calling..

❈ Taxi ❈

gonna try something different here! cuz im DANGEROUS! eric: tom! where the fuck where you!?! your LATE! tom: *histerical laugh. look! we got kicked out of a taxi! we had to walk here! kayla: tom.. jeff: kicked out of a taxi? for what? tom: *laugh. oh-okay! soooo, what happend was- kayla: tom! dont! tom: *laughs eric: am i missing something? fred: your not the only one.. kayla: it was toms fault! tom: you didnt have to go along with it! jeff: what did you do? kayla: we got the ONLY non-creeper taxi driver in tenessee! fred: non-creeper? tom: well we pretended like we were having sex in the back of the taxi, and he kicked us out. jeff: why pretend? since your already back there, why not do it? tom: i didnt think of that... fred: not suprised eric: so you walked here? kayla: yes! jeff: lets get to practice tom: can you give me like- 10 minuetes? i WALKED here! eric: you get 2 tom: COME ON! fred: no! get your scronny ass behind the mic! tom: hey! its not scronny..

❈There’s Too Much Blood In My Caffeine System ❈

tom tells me that his mother is trying to ruin our engagement.. look- i ONLY broke her fucking clock! you know, it was on the wall behind the fucking front door! when you open that door, your gonna hit that clock! i just so happened to be the first person to do that... and brake it.. and it wasn't even that nice of a clock! it was only custom made in Germany.. if that's why she hates me, I'm screwed. if its something like "oh! some woman is taking away my son! I'm not ready for this! *weep " then i think i can fix that. all i would have to do is talk to her, right? so i made a decision to talk to her during dinner.. which, did NOT go as well as i planned. toms mother is... well, prissy, bitchy, the typicall stuck up, know it all, thinks shes better than everyone else type of person. she insisted on making dinner with out any help. so when she called everyone in for dinner, she made sure that me and tom didn't sit next to each other. may i make sure this is clear... WE ARE IN MINE AND TOMS HOUSE! her, her husband, and her daughter broke into our house to surprise us when we came home from Hawaii. she insists on staying with us until our wedding. so there we are, picking seats at the dinner table. tom sits down in the middle of the right side of the table, and i grab the chair next to him. his mom comes up and says "no. no. no. i think you would be more comfortable over there." she points to the seat across from tom with a fork. "but i was kin-" "don't argue young lady." i looked over to tom. he didn't say anything, not that i didn't understand why. i took my hand off the chair and walked around the table and sat in between Georgeanna and her father. tom's mother sat in the chair next to him. i have not practiced or even thought about what i was going to say, but i knew i had to say SOMETHING. so i thought i would start off by asking tom about his day. "soo tom, how was work?" he looked up from his plate "eh, same ol' same ol'." i tryed harder. "so it didn't go very good?" he laughed "nah, it was actually pretty good. we cut the guitars for a song, played some pool and made a plan for tomorrow." i nodded my head "cool". his mother watched me like a fucking hawk! i felt awkward.. and my mind went blank. i couldn't think of anything else to say. instead i just pushed food around on my plate. "its very disrespectful to play with your food. exspecially when i spent hours making it for you." his mother said. i looked over to tom, who was drinking out of his soda can. "right.." i put my fork on the plate. "I'm not very hungry.. i-uh actually had a big lunch.." Georgena noticed my engagement ring. she picked up my hand and ran her fingers along the diamond "is this the ring!?" she asked me. i looked over to tom's mother. she watched. "uhh-yeah! its beautiful, isn't it!" "gorgeous!" she put my hand down and said to tom "you did a better job than i thought!" he set his can back down on the table and nodded his head. i think tom is annoyed by his family being here. i don't blame him. ( thought of this wail i was starring out my window. i saw a hobo carrying a box full of crumbled up newspaper, and somehow this popped into my head..)

❈ Solute VS Solvent ❈

inspired by chemistry with Mr. Horstmeyer. hes 23 and recently got married. so i thought what happend today in class was INSANLY cute! { ERIC } the band was hanging around in toms garage. i twirled my bass around my neck. fred asked "does that like- take a lot of practice?" i shrugged my shoulders. "i guess- i mean, it doesnt take THAT long.." he laughed "what? you go home to cheyenne everynight and go 'hey honey! watch this! look what i can do!' and twirl your fuckin bass around?" the thought of cheyenne back in my life made me happy. it felt so amazing to be around her again! tom laughed "dude! look! he's blushing!" the guys all laughed. "shut the fuck up! i am not!" "awwwww! does eric love his girlfriend?" jeff said. it made me blush more. "awwww eric!" "shut up fred! all of you! i mean it!" i put my bass down on the stand and sat down on the couch. "not cool!" they stopped laughing "yeah yeah, whatever eric. we know the truth!" i laughed a little at myself.

❈ Frito Burrito? ❈

i was sitting up against the opposite wall from the door to the recording studio eating fritos. i was waiting for tom to finish up so we can go to dinner. after 20 minuetes of waiting, i decited to go the vending machine and spend a dollar on a bag of fritos. i dont think ive met anybody who loves fritos.. i dont even like fritos, but thats all they had. so i dumped a handful of fritos into my palm and picked at them slowly. i watched people walk by wail i shuvved a frito into my mouth. the studio door opened. i looked up, hoping it would be tom. "hey kayla!" fred said as he sat on the floor next to me. "hey fred.." i took another frito out of my palm and looked at it. fred whispered "everywhere i look i see bret michaels, starring at me..." my shirt had a black and white picture of bret michaels where the color was his blue eyes. i whispered back "im sorry." he laughed "nah, im kiddin'." i asked "sooo, when is tom leaving?" "i dont know. all i know is that i eat dinner at 9." "do you want some fritos?" he looked the pile in my hand "nah. do you want a mint?" "no thanks.." he took a mint out of his pocket. it was crushed and some dust layed on the bottom of the clear wrapper "damn..." he shuvved the mint back into his pocket and stood up. "well, have a good day." he left.