Plain VS Peanut: The Round to End All Rounds

Tom prefurs to eat a Raisen and cinnamin bagle with a strawberry cream cheese spread for brekfast. Where as i am more simple and prefur a plain bagle with whipped cream cheese filling. i always thought it was strange, how tom can enjoy extravagant and i am content with plain. This is not about bagels and longer- it's me trying to make some sense out of how the things we eat for breakfast reflect our relationship. I'm not the sharpest knife in the kitchen, but i did notice that Tom likes fancy bagels. it's not only bagels- Tom likes the funky ice cream flavors also. When i search the freezer for vanilla ice cream, i usually see flavors such as "Bunny Tracks
or "Peanut Butter Panic". With me being allergic to nuts- you would think that Tom would limit the amount of food in our house that contains nuts.
When we visit his childhood city of Philadelphia, we always make sure to take a break and have cheesecake. My favorite is plain, sometimes when i feel like having something different i will order the strawberry swirl with a small amount of vanilla bean ice cream. Tom will order a chocolate cheesecake with pecans and chocolate syrup.
It's like Plain Vs Peanut. i am plain and Tom is peanut. Not only can i not eat peanuts M&Ms due to my allergy, but I've never been too fond of them to begin with. There will always be people to like plain, and always those who like peanut.

The Owl that cried "Whoo"

I feel like Tom was more upset by the fact that i made a dent in his Jaguar by throwing a rock at the hood, than himself striking me across the face with his hand. This would be the second time that Tom has layed his hand on me. The first- back in 1986 when Cinderella was touring for Night Songs- was caused over the fact that Tom believed that i was "flirting" with Eric's bass tech, Kurt. Cinderella was preforming Shelter Me onstage at the pavilion in Detroit, Michigan when Tom happened to glance over to the far left of the stage. There, he saw me speaking to Kurt; for the record, I'd like to say that we were only chatting. Cheyenne and i were not speaking each other at the time, due to some ridiculous argument we had the previous day. Tom soon jumped to the conclusion that i was "putting the moves" on Kurt. Tom then broke off the chorus of Shelter Me and scuffed off the stage in the middle of a show. Tom pulled Kurt by the collar of his shirt and threw him against a nearby wall. I forget exactly what Tom was yelling to Kurt. But i assume it was along the lines of "Back off!" followed by more hurtful words, I'm sure. Cinderella remained onstage for a few moments after Tom created a scene back stage. Eric and Jeff were the first to Run off stage and check on the situation. Tom didn't realize they were watching and started to yell at me. "You whore!" he would scream as The sweat rolled off his face. I tried to explain to him that i was only trying to hold a conversation with Kurt, and flirting was the farthest action i had in mind. Of course, Tom didn't take my word for it. Tom always thinks himself as honest, never listening to me in times likes this. Fred had spent a few moments alone onstage, trying to entertain the audience with a drum solo. Once he was out of ideas, he came running backstage to see what the problem was. Right then, Fred saw Tom strike my cheek with the back of his hand. Back then, Fred and i were closer than just best friends. The Night Songs tour was the first taste any of us had with being on the road and having nothing to do other than have some fun. Fred and i really took advantage of it. That was the moment that Fred stepped in and pulled Tom away. Eric and Jeff somehow created an argument and before i knew it, they started throwing fists at each other. Soon, they were rolling around the floor. Fred was yelling at Tom for striking me. Fred and Tom were in a fight in no time at all.
That night happened to be the last show Cinderella played on their tour. Ray had called off the remaining shows to consul the band.
This time around, Fred didn't budge in whatsoever. I honestly didn't expect him to with the way things were happening between us. Fred has a new girlfriend, a french model named Nadia. I'm sure that i am the least person he would be worried about at the moment. Instead of consoling me like he would have done two years ago, he stormed out of the house yelling "This bullshit drama!" Everyone was brought together at Cheyenne and Eric's home for the reason that Eric had news to share. Cheyenne and Eric were engaged. At first, i was upset that my best friend, Cheyenne, failed to tell me first. I brought up the point that she was the first to know that i was engaged to Tom. Or when i was divorcing Tom and getting back together. In either case, i shared everything with Cheyenne- i kept no part of my life a secret from her. No matter how scandalise the situation i was involved in. The points i was bringing up, only made Tom pissy. When i brought up divorce, Tom had had enough. "Thank you for bringing up the divorce.." He said, walking out of the house. I followed him to the car, where he only locked himself inside and ignored me. I didn't understand what Tom's problem was. What i said was the truth. I'm not gonna hide what happened! If Tom is ashamed by it, then he has a problem. What happened, happened. I'm no one to hide the past. If that was even what he was angry about. It didn't take long before i started to grow frustrated with the fact that Tom was ignoring me. All i wanted to do was talk to him to figure out what was wrong! To show that i meant business, i chucked a small rock at the hood of the Jaguar. That's when Tom got out of the car and started yelling. "What the fuck did you do to my car?!" He yelled, checking out the dent in the hood. "Tom, it's only a small rock. it's a dent! you can just buff it out. not a big deal!" i refused to yell. "That dent is huge!" Tom was blowing it out of proportion. "That shows you to be a bitch.." is what i said that earned me the slap across the face. After that, i instantly ran back into the house to be comforted by my friends. I felt guilty for taking the attention away from Cheyenne and Eric. They were engaged- something that no one believed would happen after their wedding disaster. I should have shown more support towards them. Instead, i was too busy crying and throwing a fit because Tom had slapped me.

It's as Clear as the Sunrise in Sedona

{85}

"Ewww..." i heard Fred say between sips of his beer. "Eww what?" i asked. Fred pointed into the crowd surrounding the stage "Look at that pug thing." He told me. Emily instantly caught my eye. Emily is Tom's ex girlfriend. What i don't understand is- how could Tom fall for a girl like her? She has a flat- single toned hairstyle that makes her face look scrunched and wide. Her lipstick was a reddish violet color that matched the scarf she wore over a solid white blouse. She wore a knee length leather skirt with black tights and boots. Emily was as tall and slim as Tom- something that is unattractive for any woman. "OMIGOD, Freddie!" i said, hiding behind him. "she's ugly, huh?" "Yeah, Tom has a problem with picking out girls." i said, watching Emily closely to make sure she didn't wonder near me. what i want to know is- what is Emily doing here? "What?" Fred asked. Right, Fred never had the chance to meet Emily- lucky bastard. Tom and Emily had broken up before Fred joined the band. "That's Emily, Toms ex girlfriend. why else do you think i'm hiding behind your Afro?" "Her face would make me wanna hide too..." oh, Freddie. "Damn- Tom did MUCH better with you!" always making me feel like a champ. "Half her face is smaller than the other." he continued. "Fred, stop starring at her!" i finally said. "sorry- but god, how does Tom go from that to YOU?" he asked. "i dunno.. he got lucky i guess." Fred turned around and spanked my ass while saying "i'll say!" i laughed and yelled "Freddie!" "okie dokie" Fred said, walking towards the stage. "no no no, she'll see me!" i yelled after him. "then follow me!" "where are you going?" i asked, following behind him. "i dunno. away from that monster." he said, referring to Emily. "I'm not talking to Tom..." i told Fred, figuring that i should strike a conversation "oh really?" "he's an idiot." i said. "what did he do?" Fred held onto my hand, squeezing it every few seconds. "he lied to me..." "about what?" Fred asked, pulling me closer to himself. "Emily.." "what did he say?" "he has always told me that Emily broke up with him and all this stuff. but, she cheated on him. so then he cheated on her. so, she dumped him and all this dumb shit." i explained to Fred. "sounds pretty dumb.." "well, he LIED... and it wasn't even a big deal- if he would have told me the first time i asked and not lie to me the first time, then tell me after the 4475932784th time." Fred started leaning his lips towards mine. "i totally get it.." he said. "you do?" was all i could say. i began moving closer to Fred, wanting the kiss that he was about to deliver. "there you are! Fred, your on in like, two seconds!" i swear-Cheyenne has the worst timing for showing up. "shit- i gotta go!" he said, running towards the stage, leaving me kiss less. "...what were you two doing?" Cheyenne asked me. "nothing.." i then walked away. god, Fred makes my heart flutter. i could feel my heart race! i was SO CLOSE to kissing him...

Driving in Cars with Boys

{85}

Fred and i had left the bar nearly an hour ago. We sat in his car in the parking lot of the apartment that tom and i lived in. Before saying goodbye and getting out of his car, i thought that i could get Fred to kiss. Cheyenne disturbed our moment at the bar. this time- Fred and i were alone. "Freddie.." i said, leaning in his direction. "Yeah?" he asked. "You were gonna kiss me earlier, until Cheyenne interrupted," Fred didn't look at me as i whispered in his ear "Kiss me." He replied quickly "no- your just saying that because your mad at Tom." oh, so now that I'm trying to kiss HIM, it's wrong? Why wasn't there a problem when he was trying to kiss ME? "you didn't want to kiss me?" i asked, feeling foolish. "Well yeah, but- don't tempt me." Temptation is good.. "why not? i want to kiss you!" "La la la la, I'm not listening." Fred said, covering his ears with his hands. "Freddie, grow up!" i said, pulling his hands away from his ears. "I'll cya." Fred couldn't get rid of me that easy. "You're a jerk!" how dare he do this! it pissed me off to know that Fred will only kiss me when HE wants. "Bye!" he said, giving me a quick kiss on the lips. i pulled him back by his neck. i wanted a REAL kiss! a heart melting, romantic, sensational lip lock from Fred.

After i got the kiss i wanted, i couldn't let go- and neither could Fred. What started as a romantic kiss, turned into a sleazy makeout in his car.

Show Me How You Do That Trick

{85}

(Cheyenne, sometimes...)

"Fuck me! Tommy! Ohhhhh Fuck me hard!" I begged, jumping on Tom upon walking into our apartment. if it wasn't for Tom blowing down my skirt and kissing my thigh in Fred's car, I'm sure Tom and i wouldn't be having sex tonight. But, seeing Tom in a jail cell did help turn me on. Who knew being drunk in public was a crime? "No problem!" Tom said, with a smile on his face. tom totally enjoyed seeing me act like this. "Ohhhh Tom!"

"Mmmm i love you Tommy." i layed my head on his chest and wrapped my arm around his stomach. "i love you too." Tom was gasping for air. "What a man!" i said, running my fingers down his chest. "You're so cute." "You are!" i was still feeling hot from the sex. "You're so damn sexy.." "Not as much as you!" i took his hand and pulled it under the comforter. "Oh really.." "Yeah!" i said, putting his hand where i wanted it. "Babe!" "Go on.." i told him. "What?" i really feel as if i have to explain everything to Tom. "Finger me, duh!" i said, kissing his lips. "Ohhh.." "Oooooo deeper!" i moaned.

Tom shared the idea of wanting harder, rougher sex. "Tommy, we need to try something different!" as if chocolate blow jobs on almost a daily basis wasn't enough for us. "Like what?" Tom asked. "like doggy style or something." "seriously??" "You don't want to?" "No, i do!" he said, with a smile on his face.

Now, THAT was the best sex we have had together. "Write a song about THAT, Tommy." i told him. "I will..." "No you wont!" i said, laughing. i don't believe Tom would write a song about our sex. Tom would rather write about sex with hitch hikers. "Why not?!" "Are you really gonna do it?" "Hell yeah!" i still don't believe it. "Awww Tommy!" i said, before giving him another kiss. "Oh, babe!" "damn... look! the sun is rising.. we did it ALL night!" i said, pointing to the beams of light entering the room through the window. "Wanna do it again?" Tom asked. "Don't you have to work today, baby?" i asked him. "I'm sick today..." "well, i was thinking you could go to work and pick up a camera.." there is only one perk of working at a photo developing company, and that is an endless supply of camera's and video recorders. "You wanna make a sex tape?" Tom had this boyish grim on his face. "It is just an idea." i said. "Yeah!" He hopped out of bed and grabbed his pants from the floor, pulling them on. "I'll be right back baby... don't get dressed." he told me.

Beetle Juice

{85}

Freddie has invited me to his apartment this evening to watch his favorite movie, Beetle Juice. Tom was caught up in his song writing and i had nothing to keep myself occupied- so i thought why not?

Freddie is such a sweetheart. By the time i arrived at his apartment, the Chinese food that he had ordered for the night had already arrived. it's crazy how Freddie knew just what i like; beef and broccoli with chicken lo mien.

Before the movie began, Fred brought a blanket from his bedroom for us to share. i thought it was cute how he snuggled up to me with a boyish grin on his face.

As the movie was playing, Fred and i got closer to each other. Instead of watching the movie, we thought of clever ways to get as close as possible with out being too risky. Once again, the temptation of kissing arose. I think we both understood that kissing each other would be taking this a step too far. We both wanted it, I'm sure of that. But, neither of us had the guts to do so.

Space Cowboy

{Jeff Labar, 85}

Fred, Eric and i were sitting in the backroom after a day of developing what seemed to be an endless amount of photos. i had Amber to ask for a ride home, only to be ignored. Amber was more concerned with selecting our wedding cake rather than making sure the groom arrives home. Tom wasn't at work today; he mentioned something about Kayla being sick and picking up a camera-whatever that is supposed to mean.

"Well, it looks like Cheyenne is in another pissy mood today." Eric said, walking into the break room from making a call to his girlfriend. "What for?" Fred asked. i don't understand how Eric can make Cheyenne so pissy. i have spent countless hours with Cheyenne, never making her pissy in any sort of way. "i have no clue. all i did was call to tell her that i would be home soon and she started yelling at me about some dumb book she is reading." oh my. Cheyenne and her Steven King books... if we are in any type of situation relatively close to that in a book she has read, she is convinced that we are gonna die. i mean- it's cute the first four times, but upon the fifth i want to strangle her. "Yeah, it was something about taking a shortcut through the woods.." oh, classic. "Eric, you can quit talking about Cheyenne." Fred said. "Why? did you wake up handcuffed to your bed post again?" now, what i don't understand about Fred is- how can he make the mistake of sleeping with the same money taking prostitute more than once? "No! i just don't want to hear you complain, that's all." "Who is complaining?" I'm starting to think that Fred is the one in a pissy mood. "Everyone needs to stop talking about their problems," before finishing, Fred punched Eric's forearm. "if anyone starts talking about their problems, i'm going to throw something. That time, i threw a fist." Fred is my ride home...

Scooby Doo, Where Are You?

{85}

I don't quite know how Tom feels about me. Tom doesn't seem to be very expressive- which is something i find hard to believe, considering he is a musician. Tom and i have been on a single date- which ended with sex.

Tom and i talk about typical topics, such as our jobs, interests, and dreams. i feel comfortable around Tom. But, i don't know if he's comfortable with me quite yet. i feel like I'm more in interested in Tom than he is in me. i don't know if our relationship is a waste of time, or if he considers what we have as a relationship at all. Tom seems like a mystery...

On Top of Old Smokey

{85}

It was around midnight when Tom come home. Tom stumbled through the front door with a beer can in his hand. "Tom?" it was obvious that Tom was drunk. tom slurred his words as he spoke "whut?" As if he didn't know. "Are you DRUNK?" i asked him. "No.." he denied it. "Tomm! what do you think you're doing?!" i yelled at him. "Drink?" he replied. i started to get annoyed. If there is ONE thing that really pisses me off, it would have to be drinking. A few beers occasionally is fine, no harm done. But, when it gets to be a problem is when i freak out. that shit isn't gonna fly. i spent eighteen years with an alcoholic mother, and I'm not putting up with this crap. "How you doohan?" Tom asked me in that Wendy Williams tone of voice. "not to good, tom." "yeah?" tom said, his eyes drooping and his voice getting deeper. "you have had enough for tonight. go to bed." i said, taking the beer can out of his hand. "then come to bed with me.." Tom pushed my body against the wall. His lips pressing against mine. i struggled to push him away. "Tooomm!" i didn't want tom anywhere near me right now. "Shut up!" he slithered his tongue into my mouth. "Tom! i don't- i-." Tom ignored me. i was finally able to push him away. "Tom, that's enough! i don't wanna do this when your drunk.." "c'mon baby.." I moved away from the wall and took a seat on the couch. "No, Tom. i mean it. i don't want you touching me right now." Tom began to yell "Why the fuck not?!?" "Tom, please don't yell.." "i can fucking yell if you don't give me what i fucking want!!!" "Tom! just- no!" i yelled back. Tom took a seat next to me. "Come on Babbeee!" he said, followed by kisses. "God- i can fucking taste all the liquor!" ewww. "so?" more kisses followed. "Stop, that's gross!" "you like it..." He said. "Don't make me leave.. i don't wanna be here if your gonna act like this.." i was bluffing. i had no where to go. "Where are you gonna go? this is our home, baby. you got no where to go.." more kisses. damn. "i do! i have- friends!" "like who?" he asked, kissing my chest. "i don't have to explain myself to you!" i yelled. "don't talk." he told me, giving me another kiss. oh- fuck it! i put up a good fight, right? i can't resist Tom, even if he is drunk.

Pay Your Respects

{85}

"Oh, this is scary!" tom said, nuzzling his neck against mine. quick note to self: don't allow Jeff to pick out the movie. I twirled my fingers around the curls in toms hair. Tom started kissing my collar bone. How could i resist that? "Awww baby!" i said, giving tom a kiss. Tom lifted his lips up to my ear, then whispered "Mmmm i love you." I could feel his breath on my ear as he spoke. i liked the tingling sensation of his breathe running down my neck as he gently sucked on my skin. "Keep it down! we're trying to watch a movie!" Cheyenne yelled from across the room. "Shhh! let's watch!" Jeff said, shoveling a handful of popcorn into his mouth. "Tom, i don't want to watch," i said. "do you wanna go upstairs?" The fact that we were at Jeff's house was not gonna stop me from making love to Tom. "Hmm?" he said as he kissed me. "Let's continue upstairs.." I told him. "Do you think Jeff will mind?" "Ask him!" i suggested, being doubtful that Tom would actually ask. "Jeff, can we use your room?" Tom said. "Why would you wanna use my room?" Could Jeff be anymore naive? "We would like to get.it.on" Tom said, too bluntly in my opinion. i mean- why not tell it to the world? 'listen everyone, me and tom want to have sex. this instant! and if if anyone stands in our way, you're going down!' "Not in my bed!" Jeff yelled. "well, where else should we do it?" If he says 'outside, in the hammock' i think i may slap Jeff. "there is a guest room, you know!" "thanks Jeff!" before we ran upstairs, Jeff told us "if i hear you, i have the authority to kick you out of my house." "Turn up the T.V! come on, Honey." tom said, taking my hand. "Yeah go flirt with Cheyenne or something, Jeff." i said before pulling Tom into the bedroom upstairs.
Before i knew it, i heard knocking on the door. "Hey, Tom! get out of there! you need to leave!" Jeff shouted. Tom didn't reply. The knocking grew louder. "Tooooomm!" "What the fuck, Jeff?!" Tom finally yelled back. "You need to leave, now!" "I'm in the middle of something!" Tom yelled back to Jeff. i started to get annoyed. "Toommm!" "Get out, man! Amber is gonna kill me!" Jeff yelled. Amber? Oh- shit! she must be home.. "Babe.. we gotta stop.." Tom said to me. "Tommy, don't! Keep going!" "Ten minuets, Jeff!!" Tom yelled. "No, you don't understand! you REALLY have to leave!" Jeff warned us. "your ruining it, Jeff!" Tom was just as aggravated as i was. "Toommyy!!" "Kay!!" Between the arguing from Tom and Jeff, and my moaning- i would say the noise level was at a good 7.5. "Tom, get the fuck outta here!" The knocking grew more violent. Amber was now involved. "Shut the fuck up, bitch!" Tom yelled? "excuse me?!" Amber gasped, as if she was surprised. Tom began to ignore the yelling coming from outside the room. "God dammit, Tom!" amber yelled, kicking the door.

Extended Relief

{Eric Brittingham}

What is Romance?

Tom some, romance comes easy. some people seem to be born with the ability to create romance out of nothing. when you think of romance- what is the first to come to mind? a room illuminated by vanilla scented candles? a bed covered in rose peddles? a white sanded beach at sunset? those enviroments seem to be the most typical ideas of romance. what romance seems to be lacking now-a-days is creativity. sure, it may seem like there is nothing left. what is more romantic than sipping wine in front of a fireplace? romance is more simple than what one may imagine. the first approache you take in creating a romantic night with your lover is to make her feel important. Cheyenne is with out a doubt the most important person in my life. i cant imagine how life would be with out her. her support has givin me the confidence to make a living for the both of us. Cheyenne and i dont always see eye-to-eye on various matters, and that results in arguments. i know that i dont always treat cheyenne the way that she deserves to be treated, and i feel that it goes both ways. i'm not blaming anything on cheyenne- i know that i am more at fault, for devoting more time for work than fixing my relationship. taking time off work to spend the afternoon with cheyenne every now-and-again would have helped us comunicate. communication is the second step in romance. you would be suprised how much talking to a person who understands you can open up your heart. it releases feelings of vulnurability. cheyenne and i never communicated well. Cheyenne has a big tempur and over reacts about nearly everything that i share with her. i'm the jealouse type- always paranoid that cheyenne is going to leave me for a "better man".

Intamacy is the last step to romance. by intamacy, i dont nessasarily mean sex. a single kiss can be more romantic than recieving oral. i dont think cheyenne and i nessisarly have a problem in that department- other than the times i wanted sex and she didnt, but thats not uncommon for any relationship. cheyenne and i have been through more complications than any couple that i've ever known. having a demanding job that requires detication and endless hours adds stress to our already rocky relationship. with my job, there is always temptation to cheat. i feel like cheyenne has givin into temptations more times than i have- and that explaines why im so paranoid about her leaving me. at the end of everyday, i love cheyenne. nothing seems more right than crawling into our bed and holding her in my arms. to me, that is romance. sure, it wouldnt hurt to tell cheyenne the way i feel about her- the way i have felt since day one. there has never been a time that i have fallen out of love with Cheyenne.